Thursday, November 18, 2010

Stuff Happened! And I might have stumbled upon my calling in life!

Okay, first I'll tell my story about finding my new calling in life, then I'll tell you some good things that happened this week with my blog.



Remember Steven A. Tersigni, my cousin who attempted a character assassination last week?

Well, yesterday he made me feel really good about myself (probably to assuage his guilt.) (Did you know in former times that that word was spelled asswage? I seriously cannot be the only person who finds this hilarious.)

How did he do this?

He gave me this Practice Quiz about human anatomy to try!

Guys. After 11 consecutive attempts to answer a question correctly, I got to this question:

What bony feature of the mandible can be used to find and palpate the facial artery?
Oblique line
Mental trigone
Premasseteric notch 

It was so easy! Are you confused? Well, let me explain it to you.

The answer couldn't be "oblique line" because as a writer I know that oblique means something along the lines of "indirect" or "unclear" or "anything uttered by Bill Clinton when discussing sexual relations." (ZING! Nothing burns worse than a joke hijacked from the 90's.)  It has nothing to do with the human body! So, duh, process of elimination, A is out.

Next, it was pretty obvious B was incorrect because I've never heard of a mental trigone and I'm actually pretty sure that no such thing exists. And I would know, because I am a mental health therapist, which pretty much makes me an expert on anything having to do with the word "mental." So, yeah, B is out.

As far as C goes, mandible reminds me of the word mandala, which always reminds me of ceramics for some reason, which relates to bone in that both are white materials. So obviously the answer can't be "angle" because that's geometry and has nothing to with bone or ceramics. C is clearly not the correct choice.

This leaves us with D. D is correct because all other answers have been ruled out through the process of elimination (and common sense). But, if you examine it, it's obviously the correct answer anyway because of the word "notch." As in, you can find and palpate the facial artery by locating the premasseteric "notch," much in the same way that you can find and palpate huge blobs of excess fat hanging over your pants after Thanksgiving by locating the "only notch that still works" in your belt. Or by "making a new notch in your belt" if none work.

(Wait, what? You've never had this happen? Woow. *paradigm shifts completely*)

So yeah, I think it's safe to say that I'm totally qualified to practice medicine now. Which is a huge relief, because now I can probably make some money. Maybe even enough to afford Trapper's Sushi which I recently tried for the first time and now understand is heaven in the form of raw fish.

Thanks Steven!

Next, here's a picture:

Is it weird that I can't handle publishing a post without a picture of some kind even if it has nothing to do with anything at all and I just clicked on basically the first picture I saw in my "photos" file?

Next, on to the three important things that happened to my blog.

1. I won a contest!!!

Specifically, for this post which I wrote to join the Writer's Platform Builder Crusade. I was very honored to win it (honestly). I was late to the game, and didn't think I stood a chance, so it was a very pleasant surprise.

As the winner, I was interviewed by the originator of the crusade, Rachael Harrie. You can find my interview here: WARNING: I talk a lot about writing and what I do as a writer and my process and current work and stuff. Click only if you're interested in seeing that. 

(Did the fact that I made that link really big make you more likely to click? Not my intention.)

2. I was featured as an editor's choice last Sunday on!! (No, not That's what happens to cool people. is a blog catalog I signed up for that I'm pretty sure must be run out of Indonesia or something because all the emails I get from them are riddled with Engrish. (The email about being featured started with "Congratulation!" and ended with "regards Thank you,").) I have no idea what being featured means, if anything, but I am very flattered! (I mean that genuinely.) (Parentheses much? Sometimes I get so parenthetical I baffle myself.)

3. I wrote a guest post at another blog. It was random and very spontaneous, and it has to do with destiny. Click here if you want to read it. (Maybe I should make this one really big too?)(I hope that's not obnoxious. Sorry if it is. But this time the intention IS to persuade you to click.)

Oh, there are four. Four important things.

4. I ditched my old url and just signed up with because I realized when even Wife was like "Um, what is your blog address again? Inattentive-something-something?" that it just wasn't working. (Don't worry, still takes you right here which should come as a great relief to the two of you who had that link bookmarked.)

That is all.

Here's another random picture.

You're welcome.


  1. Congrats on your Crusade win! And the fact that you can now practice medicine. I'll pop on over and take a read of your interview with Rach.

  2. Congratulations on becoming a medical practitioner and for the interview with Rach Writes. I'm jealous, I want to belong to an Indonesian Bloggers catalog (but probably not enough to want to do anyting about it, ha!). And a guest blog post about Destiny? You are practically famous now. I'm so glad your old url works because I actually did kind of bookmark you. Not technically, but when I type The Weed in my browser it takes me right here from the old URL. I have been slacking in the Crusade these days, you probably wouldn't even notice I am a member but that's only because of this crazy NaNoWriMo book writing frenzy that's going on. I promise I will be more present in December. Great job on all your awesomeness!

  3. Congrats on your upcoming career change, and for the interview with Rach Writes and everything else! Your blog really is hilarious. I had fallen behind on your blog, well everyone's really, because of this crazy NaNoWriMo contest going on, but I swear I'll be more present (like Patricia) in December when this is all over! Congrats again!!!!

  4. Lovely picture of the girls, and congrats on your new career ;)


  5. Thank god...If I had to re-bookmark your blog I might just stop reading it...ha ha.

  6. Everything about this post is funny. I think I'm learning that WHENEVER I visit your blog I'm pretty much guaranteed a laugh!

    Yes. I think so. Definitely!

  7. @Mary--if you're looking for a general practitioner, I'm available...

    @Patricia--Thanks! And I'm very excited that you had me semi-bookmarked!

    @Regina--No worries! Thanks a lot for dropping by even while you're so busy.

    @Rach--Aw, thanks. And thanks again for the great interview!

    @Christine--Whew! That was a close one!

    @Rachel--Your comment just made my soul smile a little. Thanks!

  8. Nice cookies. It doesn't compare to a crazy picture of a serial killer eyeball, but it'll do.

  9. That was a very impressive use of the process of elimination. You can now ace every multiple-choice test given to you. :)

  10. Congratulations on all of your accomplishments, especially the one about making money! Because God knows mental health is not particularly lucrative in that regard... ;)

  11. Love the picture of the girls, Josh. And congrats on the awards!!! I love reading your stuff. Always have. Submitted 65 poems for a book publication. We'll see what happens...So happy to hear you'll be a doc. I think I'll have to practice with you as my mind went through veerryyy similar contortions in order to come up with D on that quiz...hugs for you! say hi to KYFS for me!

  12. How left out did the poor little cookie with the yellow eyes feel. :-(

    Oh, and yeah, I clicked on the shortest link, the one for the sushi, because I can never resist reading restaurant menus in far off parts of the world.

    Okay, yeah, I clicked on the long one too. What can I say, I'm just a click-aholic!

    And the logical deductive process you followed on question twelve of that quiz has got to be highlighting skills which are useful for something, even if not medicine...I'll get back to you.

  13. Why would you torture my diet-addled brain with pictures of cookies????

    ....I hate you forever.

    ...Except not really.

    Because you're awesome.

  14. @jj--It is copacetic to know that my picture was copacetic.

    @Deidra--It's really kind of too bad I'll likely never have to take a standardized test again. Except no. Not it isn't.

    @Bi--I know, right? What were we THINKING?

    @Marcia-Yay!! If you want, you can email me and I can let you know about some magazines you might want to try submitting to. You have raw, natural talent. Fo reals. I don't just throw things like that around.

    @Adina--Oh man, I hadn't noticed that poor little friend. Tragic. Also, can I confess something to you? I totally got the math wrong. That question was actually question 11, and I messed up how I said it. Does this have me re-thinking my decision to practice medicine? No. No it does not.

    @Catherine--I'm sorry! I understand that pain oh too well. And thank you for not hating me forever. I greatly appreciate it.