Monday, March 21, 2011

New Pet!

You know your blog is becoming the center of your universe when you start contemplating life-time commitments for a photo op.

I seriously thought about getting a dog the other day so that I could post pictures of it on my blog. Not to care for it. Not to love it. Not to let it piss on my carpet. Not so my children could play with it. But so I'd have fun animal posts because birds are boring.

I don't even like taking pictures of dogs.

Meet Bruno! I just brought him home! To my blog. From the great pound called "The Internet."

Currently my pets consist of birds. Have you ever seen my birds?

Here's one of them:

This is Felix. He's the only other guy in my house. We often feel very alone in a world of frilly pink dresses, make-up and Polly Pockets. And as far as blog-pets go, he's pretty boring. He doesn't even talk.

The point here is this: if you see me at a pet store having purchased a Great Dane, and you ask me "hey, why are you buying a Great Dane?" and I answer with "Because I have this really great idea for a blog post! I'm gonna ride him!" and I look all weird and crazy-eyed, that is the time you gently take me by the arm, walk me down to the metro station and love-tap me onto the tracks in front of an oncoming train.

But be nice to the Great Dane. It wasn't his fault that he was bought to be my horse/blog-decoration.

Photo attribution here.


  1. He is a really pretty budgie. And i am sure he could make a very interesting topic

  2. I often find myself thinking... "I'm totally gonna blog that." Or - if it's short enough - "I'm totally gonna tweet that." I think this means I am far too attached to my social media outlets. If you were contemplating the purchase of a pet for the same reason - I think you and I both have a problem. LOL Can we form a support group. Twitter and Bloggers Anonymous. :D

  3. Just grab some LOL cats, but you may want to hide the bird.

  4. I should of gotten my dog at the internet pound! Now I am stuck with a real live, 60 lb, shedding beast that thinks he's a lap dog and needs to be walked four times a day. Cute pic though.

  5. @Mynx--you might be correct. I'll have to mull it over. Do they make little sweaters for birds?

    @becca--(Cheesiest Joke Ever Alert!) Why thank you! My wife thinks I'm cute, too!

    @Heather-I would totally go to that support group. Heck, I'm starting it. First social media support group will be held tonight at 6pm in Auburn WA. Come if you dare. And if you live far away, feel free to use social med... wait, that's not gonna work. Looks like everyone's gotta buy a plane ticket.

    @Kari Marie--I should adopt a LOLcat! But don't worry, Felix can defend himself. He's tough. He's like a ninja-budgie. With cat-like reflexes. And a bunch of other over-used cliches. (As opposed to the not-over-used cliches...?)

    @Trisha--Wife just read your comment over my shoulder and genuinely LOLed. I bet your lap dog is a good doggie, and at very least, you likely brought him home for reasons beyond "cool blog photo!" Which means you win.

  6. You're blog pug, which in the interest of a concise number of characters (think Twitter) should be referred to from this point forward as a "blug"', is very cute.

    Be careful not to make Felix jealous unless you start wearing protective eyewear to bed. You did see The Birds, didn't you?

  7. Yeah, I have kids so I don't need a pet. That's mystandard answer. They shed just as much (tho paper and toys, not hair. We call it the Shedding Disease.), they cost as much to take to the doc (and have semi-permanent damage when you tell them they have to go), and they cost a ton of cash to feed. Why would I need a pet? :) You should talk to Dana. She has a VERY funny lovebird named Caleb, who has a incredible personality. You could stalk her, move in and write about HER bird. That's my suggestion. :)I have a fish--much more boring.

  8. Funny, I was just thinking that I was taking this blog thing too far when I ran outside in my pajamas in spite of the frigid winter weather just to take a picture of an icicle that fell from my house a la The Omen...You know, the death spike that impaled the priest??! That's what that icicle looked like. I could have died!!!! ;)

  9. @Lisa--Blug! I love it. And, now that you mention it, I will wear protective eye-wear. I only have one eye that works as it is. Don't get any ideas, Felix...

    @Jennifer--That sounds like the most perfectest least awkwardest stalking blog-pet-adoption program I've ever had suggested to me on a blog post! Good work. Also, you're right. Children are basically like pets. Which is why I cage mine up. (NOT REALLY HA!)

    @Bi--Oh heck yes, you're totally in the same boat as me. In fact, you risked your life, which means you might be a step ahead of me. Although I did just tell people to casually murder me if I buy a Great Dane, so maybe we're about equal?

  10. Good stuff, but I would not kill you, maybe just steal your dog.

  11. I'm a little bummed Bruno is not really your dog. I would totally demand daily posts and pictures of his latest shenanigans. I'd also try to steal him.

    Come to think of it, I don't really blog much about my dog. Maybe I should plan something.

  12. If you feel the need for a blog pet there is always Petville on Facebook, lol. You don't even have to feed it.

    Cute birdie!

  13. My dog is just so adorable I'm afraid if I were to start blogging about him I just wouldn't be able to stop! Love my puppy~ He thinks he's a German Shepard sometimes (when he's about an eighth of their size)

  14. I have a shepherd-collie mix that has been featured on my blog once or twice. She keeps asking me to get her own, but she does not type and I am not going to take dictation.

  15. Teach the baby to bark. BAM. There'hs your solution, right there. Cute photo-op's with ahn appropriate soundtrack. Am I right or am I right?

    Also, you appear to be pulling a pretty bad-ass* face in that picture. Is it the machismo from hanging with another male? Like how when there's a tradesman in the house suddenly Husbot's voice drops two octaves and he develops a swagger?

    (*is 'ass' a swear? if so, I apologise, but 'bad bum' just didn't seem to have the same effect...)

  16. Birds, well, aren't cute. Adopt a puppy. Come on. You know you want to. Look at their cute, um, puppy dog eyes. Do it. Do it. Do it. (this peer pressure brought to you courtesy of erica)

  17. Dogs are so great. I've got three & one is a Great Dane (mixed with a boxer) we got him from an actual pound! LOL Felix is a cutie but you don't know what you're missing (though I'd take a pass on the 'pissing on the carpet' if I were you). LOL :)

  18. If you were going to pick a pet for an interesting blog post, you should have chosen a "petite lap giraffe" (!

  19. Who replies to comments like daaaays later and expects people to see it?

    Me. That's who.

    @Daniel--I'm very comforted to know that my life is secure in your hands.

    @Paul Joseph--you absolutely should do a post about your dog. It's an untapped rescource!

    @Kerri--Brilliant idea!

    @Devin--Small dogs with big-dog attitude are the best. My dog growing up had that complex. And it was awesome.

    @Charlotte--Dogs with their own blogs. Awesome!

    @Arianette--How do you know me so well. That's exactly why my face was all bad-a. When Felix and I hang, it's the only time I even feel comfortable pulling faces like that.

    @Ercia--You have no idea how tempted I am. Seriously.

    @CherlAnne--Haha, true. I think that even if I do ever adopt an actual dog, I'll still hold out for a non-carpet-pissing experience.