Sunday, July 31, 2011

Singing Time With The Weed UPDATED

Oh, boy! You guys are in for a treat!

So, tomorrow morning, I am playing a violin solo for a church meeting. At 7:00am. On a Sunday morning.  Because my life is awesome like that.

Anyway, I got on here to write about this thing that happened while I was practicing with my accompanist. Basically, because the song I'm playing is really simple and super short, I was trying to brainstorm ways to make the performance less mind numbing befitting of a church meeting, and one of the things I threw out there was that maybe I could play the melody, play the descant, and then sing it a third time through. I was half-way joking. But my accompanist, who is a church leader, was like "I think that's a great idea."

Really? I'm going to be standing there playing the violin, and then in the middle of my performance, I'm going to put my instrument to the side and randomly start singing?

He insisted we try it out.  And as I tucked my violin under my arm and started belting it out I almost couldn't keep from laughing. I held strong though and got through.

He was like "so what did you think?" and I was like "well, I almost started laughing. I mean, who does this? It feels a little bit like I'm a spectacle. Like the audience will be all on tenterhooks wondering what will happen next. 'So, next is he going to strip off his suit and start an interpretive dance? Oh, maybe he will treat us with a verse in sign language. I sure hope he brought a kazoo and an auto-harp!'"

 "Oh, Bill, didn't you just love the part where he danced hip hop to Janet Jackson wearing spandex?"

My accompanist thought my thinking was unfounded. So... we're doin' it. That's right folks. I'm playing a violin solo AND singing. In the same performance.

Yeah. I'm that awesome. Because that is totally what it is. Awesome. And epic. And not weird or awkward at all.

Anyway, because of this development, I had a brilliant idea and decided I wanted to give you guys a sneak peak into what will happen tomorrow! I forwent the violin part, because *yawn*. But I'm going to sing the little ending part for you to prep for my big performance.

Gotta throw out some thoughts about the video before you enjoy though. 1. I just got out of the shower in this so, as you'll see, my hair is a little bit like a bale of hay / Einstein's fro during the later years (and maybe the early years? Have I seen a young Einstein? Were there even cameras that long ago? Man, I sure wish a raging genius scientist was here to answer all these questions for me.). 2. You know how I'm weightlifting like a beast now? Well, my bodyfat percentage is going down, but I'm also taking a little somethin' somethin' called creatine which has made my face expand like a piece of bread in a bowl of water. (This is my warning to not be expecting a face that could launch a thousand ships. Unless said ships were launched in terror. Away from me. As fast as possible.) 3. Remember how I have a blind eye? If you look closely, it will probably do weird stuff. I can't remember. 4. I am not smiling at all. That's because this video is SERIOUS BUSINESS. Except for in the middle when I can see Wife laughing out of the corner of my eye and I have to stop rolling so I can regain my composure.

All right. I think we're ready for the performance.



I just rewatched it, and I was like "Whoa. Better than I even remembered."

I don't mean to ask a question with an obvious answer (BREATHTAKING), but what did you think?

UPDATE: So, I finished this post at three in the morning. And I had to get up by 6:30am. Before going to bed, I decided to shave. And for the second time in two months, I realized that I had left my electric razor at somebody's house while on a trip (#ihaveADD). So, I launched into a complete meltdown. And then Wife came to the rescue with a fancy Gilette razor she bought for her legs, and I dry shaved for a minute, but then my whiskers were too long, so that's when Wife came to my side and taught me how to shave. It was very tender, and reminded me of the movie Phenomenon and also of a very healthy father son relationship. I can't deny that I will likely treasure the memory of her showing me how much lathered soap to use for a very long time...

Oh, and the actual performance? Went fine. It was as good as one would anticipate a combination violin/singing solo by someone who has had two hours of sleep and was just taught to shave by his wife would be.
Photo attribution here.

26 comments:

  1. Dude. What church meeting to you have to perform at 7am? I got all excited that you were playing today, and then I saw the time and got disappointed. Although, it's probably a good thing I won't get to see you perform. Because after reading this post I probably would have bust out laughing in the middle of your performance. Because I'm a great friend like that. :P

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  2. Wow. That was better than about 75% of all musical numbers I have ever heard in sacrament meeting. Good luck!

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  3. That caused ... a ... stirring, in my ... tummy - no, bosom. :)

    Dude you wail. Go get 'em!

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  4. "I don't know what one...John something. Not really important"

    You totally got me with the eternal awesomeness of you seeing you seeing you. It was special.

    For the love of what's-his-name, you have to do a follow-up. I need to know how this went!

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  5. @jjstringham--It was a high priest quorum meeting. Which is why I bailed when I was done and went back to bed. But I'm not sure why you're disappointed when I basically did the performance online. Now you can treasure it forever.

    @AZLarsens--Thanks! Yeah, I thought so too. Just didn't want to be the one to point it out, ya know?

    @Bart--Okay, so, as somebody who has been in the Tabernacle Choir, I've gotta ask... why have they not contacted me yet?

    @Sarah--Wasn't that so special? I'm glad you "got" it. I might post a little update within this post later today... don't wanna keep you guys all wondering!

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  6. Loved this post! You're description reminded me of my dad leaning over to my mother during similar types of performances and saying to her, "Is he going to pull a rabbit out of a hat next?" True story, not made up. Your singing is great, BTW.

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  7. I seriously wish I was your accompanist. (Except the 7 am part.) I'm having all sorts of crazy ideas now for spicing up the string of mediocre-ish performances I am sometimes asked to be a part of! If you ever find yourself back in the hometown ghetto area, singing or playing violin or both in a later-than-7-am meeting, AND in need of an accompanist, I hope you'll give me a call!!

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  8. Wow, that sounds like one amazing musical number. I remember accompanying (or playing with you maybe?) you back in our old BYU married ward years ago, but nothing as cool as this one.

    Love reading your blog!

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  9. That was my favorite recording, almost of all time. I expected the rabbit bit at one point, but wasn't disappointed because I got this little gem:

    "It goes on forever. LIKE, ETERNITY!"

    I think I'll use that from now on.

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  10. john 13:35

    you, my friend, have the voice of a siren (a man siren).

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  11. You are my hero!!! I could never sing on the internets. Serious Awesomesauce!!

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  12. @Wilma--Whoa. Magic show. I totally know what I'm gonna do next time I'm asked to perform in a church meeting!

    @Jen--Consider it done!

    @Liz--Wow, it's been four million years! Glad you dropped a note. I'm sure we did do something back in the day. And I'm sure it was amazing. Because with talent like yours + what we just witnessed in that clip? INCREDIBLE.

    @The Tall One--Haha, I'm now regretting there was no actual rabbit bit in this, but I'm glad you were at least able to extract something useful from my performance.

    @Just Another Girl--THAT'S the one!! I knew that! Except for when I couldn't remember it. Also, I agree that my voice sounded strikingly similar to a siren! (You can see why I'm such a good seducer.)

    @Melismusing--Having done it for the first time yesterday, I've gotta say: it's pretty fantastic. I highly recommend it. Also, I like your blog ;-)

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  13. Are you sure it's creatine you are taking? As you explained your multi-tiered phenomenon of you seeing you I couldn't help but think of another mind bender, weed on weed. So you may want to double check with your personal trainer, that's all i'm trying to say.
    Now I will try more subtly to link back to my blog, cause you know you want to.

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  14. You don't have to wait for a church meeting. You could perform your magic tricks as a treat for all of us on here. *evil grin* Also, since Kristina did it, I will too. If you want to read my humble blog, which is nowhere near as interesting as yours. I don't know how to do it fancy like she did (I'm also technologically-impaired) but it's at http://lifeinourcorneroftheworld.blogspot.com/

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  15. You have no idea how excited I got seeing "UPDATED" on this. If I had a tail, it would have been wagging. I have to admit, let down a little, but I like the whole Patrick Swayze/Demi Moore scene with more risk of personal injury imagery. I'm kind of with Kristina on the whole weed on weed thing. It would have explained a lot.

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  16. Josh, you should sing IN Church... (where do I get these brillant ideas?)

    And you need to post a video of what you REALLY sound like for those that haven't heard you sing, and are only judging from the video. That wasn't your best work. ;)

    Don't hate people! Josh has an amazing voice and this video didn't do it justice, that's all.

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  17. Don't quit your day job :)

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  18. So I'm not a stalker, I swear. I was just rewatching the awesomeness of your video and had to mention that this is in the "up next" videos. I think it's awesome and special and unique. Just like you :D

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  19. Wow. I'm so glad I'm here. You are funny as heck and dry as toast, my friend. Dry as toast. I love it.

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  20. @Kristina--Yay, you did a link! Good work. Also, I was performing a drug and alcohol assessment today and at one point the kid was like, in all seriousness, "you've smoked weed... right? I mean... you're name..." and I had to be like "dude, I'm Mormon. So no. But that doesn't mean I'm judging you." It was a really tender moment.

    @Wilma--I will totally read your humble blog! Thanks so much for the linky link ;-) And I might have a treat in store for you and for Sarah. I don't have great follow through, though, so if I fail, it's the thought that counts, right?

    @Sarah--My heart is kind of broken that you were disappointed and, shockingly, I'm not even joking. Because of this, like I told Wilma, I may or may not have a treat in store for you guys. But no judgy mcjudgerton if I don't follow through. Okaysies? It's the thought that counts! Right? Right? Also, to give you a more detailed account: the performance was actually fine. It was really quite unremarkable, and it was very churchy and "nice". It ended up not being as weird as I had made it out to be. But... still a little weird, ha. (Also, feel free to pimp that link out, sister!)

    @Leslie--Sing IN church? I feel like I've heard that somewhere before. Somewhere... *gets distracted by a kid kicking a ball outside*

    @Anonymous--See, the thing is, oh veiled friend, I actually did just quit my day job. So your advice has come about two days late. Are you saying I might be in trouble?

    @Sarah Again--Your video link may or may not have to do with the surpriiiiiiseee... (if it works out)

    @Steam Me Up, Kid--by golly friendish, every time you visit you make my freaking day. And your fake cry today was just about the most amazing thing I've ever seen. And I love at the end where you're like "wha wha, wait...bird?" like you just realized what you'd been saying the entire time. Wait, how did we start talking about your vlog? Oh yeah, cuz it gives mine an inferiority complex and I may or may not idolize you a li'l bit.

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  21. I once saw Luciano Pavarotti perform Puccini's TURANDOT at the Metropolitan Opera in New York. His health was declining and he knew this would be his final performance in that amazing venue. As he sang "Nessun Dorma" (arguably the most famous and moving tenor aria ever composed), tears streamed down his cheeks. Lightning raced up my spine. Women in the audience were openly weeping; along with some questionably dressed men. Most of New York's Cosa Nostra were in attendance and those cruel and hardened men were bawling like babies.

    It is the most amazing performance I ever witnessed.... until now.

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  22. @Anonymous--Yes. YES! I was thinking as I fell asleep last night just how much more moving my performance on Youtube was than Pavarotti's final performance at the Met! I'm so glad you and are on the same wavelength about this...

    No, but seriously, that was probably one of the funniest if not the funniest comment I've ever gotten. I was laughing really, really, really hard and even called Wife over to see it. Who are you? Because you're hilarious.

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  23. Just one of the numerous appreciators of your blog. The brain-damaged anonymous one. Did you ever get a chance to check out that collection of Stephen King short stories I told you about? It's like a primer for mastery of personification. I mean, you are, after all, polishing up that novel for publication, right?

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  24. I'm not sure we can be friends anymore. I know when I'm outclassed. My music degrees are no longer worth the paper on which they are printed. Thank you, though, for not adding the Brittney Spears dance moves you perfected for this video. That would really have left me in the dust, especially if you were wearing one of those cute half-shirt thingies.

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  25. @Anonymous--I haven't checked it out yet, though not because I don't want to--I just totally forgot. What was it again? (I'm silly, though, and might forget all over again. Cuz that's how I roll. However the manu. is getting polished, slowly but surely. Thanks for the interest!)

    @Dian--Shhhhh, Dian. Shhhhh. (holds finger to your lips) This isn't a zero sum game. I can be as amazing as what you just witnessed, AND you can still have music degrees that are worth... something? Also, you never know, maybe I'll be dancing in your dreams tonight!

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