Thursday, October 6, 2011

How to kill the mood....

We here at the The Weed household have a thing with nicknames. Or, more accurately, Wife calls everyone weird names constantly. And they usually stick.

Early in our marriage, Wife started calling me Anthony. (This was one of many nicknames--the very first of which was Josey, which was short for Josue, which is Joshua in Spanish. I remember thinking "Um, I don't really want to be Josey" (pronounced Hozee). But that was irrelevant. Wife had chosen, and it had stuck.) I have no idea where Anthony, from the same time period, came from, but it also stuck, and was soon shortened to Tony. Tony became so prevalent that people at church started thinking my name actually was Tony. But it's not. I promise. It's Josey. I mean The Weed. I mean Josh. Yeah. That one.

(Side note: The most hilarious nickname she had for me at that time was when I was "Penis" for a while. I put the kibosh on that when she accidentally called me that in front of a bunch of people at the store.)

She even wrote her own blog post about nicknames. Check out her most recent post on our family blog. And when I say recent, I mean 2009, the last time she ever wrote (sad face).

Anyway, the nickname thing has truly gotten out of hand. The thing I'm about to tell you is very private and I will spare details other than to say that this has happened twice. Two different times.

So... here it goes. Wife and I have been engaged in Bizness Time activities and, without thinking, she has called me a name that has completely killed the mood. Because we couldn't stop laughing.

The name that, unbidden, has come out of her lips as we enter the throes of passion?

Toniferus Weedles.

I can tell you, for certain, that as you're putting the moves on your wife and things start getting hot and heavy, there is at least one name you never want to be called. And that name is Toniferus Weedles. (What does that name even MEAN????)

That awkward moment when your wife calls you Toniferus Weedles. Again.


13 comments:

  1. In a quest to find the meaning of "Toniferous Weedles" I googled the phrase.

    To no avail.

    My apologies.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Heehee. I wondered how all the nicknames were continuing into the next generation. :-) Because of the way her amazing creativity works, there are bound to be a couple bombs in the heaps great ones. It has even carried over into our household and she doesn't even know it. My newest child has the most extensive list of anyone I know (except for the people your Wife chooses nicknames for).
    Toniferous Weedles. Haha. That's funny.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I had this big long comment planned, but then my phone ate it. So put shortly (and not as humorously), I don't want to be called "penis" so we won't be inviting you for a game night anytime soon.

    Also, Lolly needs to blog more.

    ReplyDelete
  4. OH MY GOSH funniest blog post I've read in a while! Your wife is awesome.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Oh, Bunsington! Whatever was Rack thinking?

    ReplyDelete
  6. Wow thats a great strategy to employ if you're really not in the mood. I'm writing that one down.

    ReplyDelete
  7. LOL...well i don't know what it means but it made for a great post

    ReplyDelete
  8. Toniferus Weedles sounds like one of the Hobbit names from the Shire. I'll be sure to copy this to JRR Tolkien. Oh, that's right, he's dead....

    ReplyDelete
  9. T-Bone,

    I think Toniferus Weedles has a nice ring to it. I can hear Lolly creating a song around it as I type. You guys are hilarious! This post made me laugh and smile lots yesterday.

    Thanks,

    Emilia

    ReplyDelete
  10. Hey!

    Just wrote a comment for Wife in her Lolly/Laurel dilemma post. Not sure she'll ever read it since it was written in 2009 so I thought I'd let you know. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  11. So, I thought I'd google 'toniferous weedles' thinking I was missing some joke and that people actually did know what it meant. Google, thinking I was brain-damaged, was certain I meant to search for "coniferous needles" instead. Maybe I'm easily entertained today, but I think I laughed harder at the google assertion that I did at the original post- mostly because the original post already had me worked up to such a level of hilarity that I couldn't stop. *sigh* Can't catch my breath laughing too hard... My husband's name is Tony- I think that makes this post funnier.

    ReplyDelete