Wednesday, January 18, 2012

The Christmas spirit is still alive. In this thong.

If you'll recall, last year I got the most awkward white elephant gift known to man at a Christmas party.

This vibrator filled me with the Yuletide spirit


Well, guess what?

I got another incredibly awkward gift this year at the SAME party (from the SAME person, even though it's a numbered gift exchange and the chances of that happening were extremely minute. See? Miracles do happen).


Are you ready for this?

Feast your eyes on:

 Santa Banana Hammock!!!!!

(Actually it was awesomely awkward because it ended up being wife who stole it, so it really just looked like her Christmas wish was to see me in it.) 

I know, I know. You're extremely disappointed that I didn't model it for you, because that would be hilarious and arousing--a potent combination. Unfortunately, I am nothing if not a modest man, so I opted to save you from  feeling your retinas burn out of your eye sockets having to make sure you were in the privacy of your own home to read this post. But to make up for it, I took pictures of it in a couple of Christmas arrangments so that the Christmas spirit can be rekindled in your heart.

Because I'm a giver. 

...and popcorn chains, and ornaments, and a male thong with bells on it...


 I don't think a more important message could be holding that G-string up on that shelf...

Merry Christmas! <-----You probably don't remember, but last year the vibrator wished you a Merry Christmas in 2011 since it was already past Christmas. So now you can tell people that a male thong wished you a Merry Christmas for 2012! Lucky you.

(PS, those of you who were around last year might remember that shortly after showing off my vibrator white elephant gift, I did a giveaway because of hitting 100 followers, and actually gave it away to someone (along with other prizes). If you'll look to your right, you'll note I reached another follower milestone. Not going to make any promises, but I bet you can guess what I'm contemplating.... get excited!!!)



21 comments:

  1. That's funny. Were all the gifts at the party like that or did this come from the weird guy in the office that just likes being strange?

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    1. Haha, good question. First, this was actually a party with friends (don't judge me). And the majority of the loot was pretty tame. There was a "Potty Sutra" that I kinda coveted, but beyond that it was your standard ugly decoration type fare (that's what we brought too).

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  2. OhMyGosh! I think I just found my Christmas card photo for this year! The "Believe" shot. Ahhhh-mazing!!!!
    Holy crap, you make me laugh!
    I love White Elephant gifts. Last year I got a picture frame with a photo my friend's husband making a very sultry "here comes the smoulder" face. It's still on display in my living room.

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    1. Haha! It's one of my favorite photos ever. No kidding. I only thought of it later, but I wish I had mentioned that I think it would make an excellent ad for Viagra.

      Also, I love the fact that you displayed the photo. That's classy, right there!

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  3. Congrats on 400. that is awesome. Come on though, you have to tell us, did you try it on?

    My New Blog – “Lizard Happy”

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    1. Thank you very much! Also, to answer your question: depends. Would the answer "yes" make you more or less likely to want it as a prize?

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  4. I love your humor. We must be related or something. I want this. I will win and conquer! Thank you for the photos. I was reading this out loud to Nate and laughing. Thanks for the mood booster/laugh session. I love that Lolly is the one that traded for this. I want to know if you tried it on too! You should sign the inside with the blog title and your signature. I am sure it will be worth millions one day.

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    1. We really must be.

      Also, about whether or not I tried it on, same question as above: would the answer "yes" make you more or less... actually, I'm not going to finish that question because you're my sister and... *vomits all over the place*

      Glad the post put a smile on your face ;-)

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  5. Replies
    1. You might could win it! But if you don't, I think you can see the brand in one of those photos, so GO FOR IT.

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  6. That was a lot more awkward than what I got...a 6 seconds abs machine that looks like it's straight out of the 80s...very used, very dirty, and very stupid :-P

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    1. THAT is a classic white elephant right there. One year we got a thigh master. Thanks Suzanne Summers!

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  7. BTW...I'm not following you twice since GOOGLE IS STUPID and created me another google account with my new gmail...awesome :-P

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  8. 1. Fabulous.
    2. Where did you get that reply link??

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    1. It just appeared out of nowhere and I LOVE IT. I think I saw directions of how to activate it on Twitter, so it's out there.

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  9. Okay so I totally busted out laughing when I seen the thong on the tree. My son (he's 5) runs over and "What happened?! What happened?!".

    Then he told me that the "Santa hat" was upside down. BAHAHAHA

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    1. Santa's hat! I love that story! Thanks for sharing. Sounds like something my own 5-year-old (girl) would say.

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  10. I don't know if this is what did it, but now your blog is blocked at my work. It's classified as p0rn!!

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    1. You're the second person that's told me that recently. Crap. I guess I can't say the word sex anymore. (Oops. I just said it again. I guess I'm in trouble.)

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  11. awesome....I'm just curious, is that a picture of you in the Christmas tree picture? Or one of your kids? I can't tell, and frankly both prospects are disturbing.

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