Me: I think I need a new masthead for the blog for the new year. Something that captures my essence. Something that maybe involves a picture of me.
Wife: You want a picture of you as your masthead?
Me: Yeah... I just think it will clarify my image. You know... "The Weed". And then a picture of the The Weed. Just in case people think this is a website about the finest hashish. Or dandelions.
Wife: So, you think putting your picture next to the phrase "The Weed" will clarify to newcomers that this is a humor blog, and not a blog about drugs, even though the subtitle of the blog says it's about drugs?
Me: Yes. People will totally get it. They will see my face and think "it's time to read about colonoscopies and Bambi nuggets." Actually, no, on second thought I need my picture to evoke nothing about colonoscopies. It needs to be attractive. People are more likely to enjoy a picture if it's attractive.
Wife: ...It doesn't have to be attractive.
Me: Yeah, but I want it to be attractive. It's going to represent me.
Wife: ...but... it doesn't necessarily have to be attractive. Napoleon Dynamite wasn't attractive.
Me: Wait... did you just compare me to Napoleon dynamite?
Me: Why are you so insistent it can be unattractive? You don't think I can even manage an attractive masthead photo, do you!?
Wife: No, no, no, that's totally not it! I fully believe in your attractiveness... I think you are very attractive. I married you!
Wife: What we should really do is hire a professional to make the logo. A photographer. Someone who's an expert in Photoshop.
Me: *looks at her askance*
Wife: ...I didn't mean it like that! Seriously, I just think we need... oh, never mind.
Anyway, here's the photo I was thinking of using, no thanks to Wife and her doubts about me. Let me know if you think it'll work.
And in case anybody's wondering *looks suspiciously at wife* this photo was not Photoshopped at all. I just took it on my phone five seconds ago. This is the real, natural me. And what better way to introduce new readers to my blog than that, you know what I'm sayin'?