Monday, May 7, 2012

Vomit--A Story of Romance


This is a vomit story in two scenes, and it's tied to romance. Are you ready?

Scene 1:

I was nervous because it was my first date with pre-Wife.

We had known each other for many years--had grown up on the same street in Utah--and now both of our families lived in the exact same suburb of Portland, OR called Aloha (pronounced, Ah-loah. Obviously.) I needed a friend. It was time to re-connect.

We went to a movie. The movie was Volcano which I remember being worse than Dante's Peak. We were planning to go to dinner afterwards. But suddenly, near the end of the movie, pre-Wife leaned over to me and said "I think I'm going to throw up."

She had recently been in a car accident, and so being so close to the huge screen was making her sick. She quickly got up and left for the bathroom.

When she got back, I asked if she was all right. She said she felt much better. After the credits were rolling, I said "So, did you end up throwing up?"

pre-Wife: Yeah. I had trouble at first. But then I noticed a pubic hair on the toilet and... well, that did the trick. 

Me: Oh man, that sucks. 

pre-Wife: Not really. I feel better now.

Me: Well, I guess that means we're gonna skip dinner...

pre-Wife: Skip dinner? Um, I don't think so. I just threw up. Now, there's more room for dinner.

Me: You just threw up, and now you're ready to go get something to eat? You are awesome.

It was at that moment I was pretty sure I wanted to marry this girl.

And then we went to Olive Garden, but decided we wanted Pizza Hut, which we could see across the parking lot, instead. So we spontaneously left our sodas and walked across the parking lot and had one of the best conversations I've ever had, which has absolutely impacted my life in every positive way you could imagine, over Hawaiian and Supreme and Root Beer. 

Scene 2:

Our Wedding day six years later.

It was a busy day, as wedding days tend to be. Wife had TMJ still from that same car accident, and when she gets overly stressed, sometimes... well, she gets sick.

So, after we had been married in the Salt Lake Temple, we were feeling pretty awesome. It was an idyllic day--everything was amazing. Here. Here's a picture I scanned in a long time ago.


You can't fake this kind of happy.



Anyway, that evening we had our reception in a church building. The one thing I had ever imagined having at my wedding was a reception line. It's pretty much the only thing I knew about weddings, and so it felt all proper to have one.

Well, because Wife and I grew up on the same street in Utah, and had basically known each other our whole lives, we had a LOT of people come to the reception. Like, many hundreds. All filtering through the line. And Wife was getting very tired.

And near the end of the night, as she was sitting in the line greeting people, suddenly she felt ill. She stood up. The line was standing there watching, and she started to make a run for the bathroom. But she didn't make it.

She vomited right in front of the gift table. On her wedding day. With a line of people watching.

As she was being ushered away, a sweet old lady turned to her and asked, "oh, sweetie, are you nervous about... tonight?"

And it wasn't until that moment that Wife wanted to die, because if there was one thing she NEVER WAS, it was prudish about her desires to have sex on her wedding night. Indeed, she hadn't even planned our wedding at all--she left all the decisions up to her 12-year-old sister because she honestly didn't care about things like colors and where the place-settings came from or any crap like that. The only thing she was really excited and cared about at all was the honeymoon and the wedding night, which she had been talking about non-stop for years.  Because she is awesome.

And now an entire line of people thought she was so nervous about losing her virginity that it made her vomit everywhere on her own wedding day.

I'm happy to report, however, that she felt much better after her little pukey puke near the gift table. And much like that first date, after a preliminary throwing up, she was then feeling well again and ready to eat the Tupperwares full of cake we absconded with, and to have certifiably the best wedding night ever in the history of Earth.


Because I'm a Casanova.

And also because we were totally in love, and so excited to be starting our lives together.

And that is the story of how vomit was the connection that brought our courtship, dating, and the consummation of our marriage into full circle.

It seems I owe a debt to vomit. And to Pizza Hut. As well as to the movie Volcano. Which is a shame, because it was a really pretty terrible movie.


103 comments:

  1. It's amazing how you demonstrate your love for your wife by telling about vomit. I'm sitting here chuckling while also feeling sentimental. But now I'm wondering how it took six years to get from Scene 1 to Scene 2.

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    1. Oh man, as you can imagine it's a long story. For one thing, the first incident happened when I was 16 and Wife was 18, so we were really young. But there's definitely more to it. I'm working on a post about it all, actually, so it's funny you should ask. Also, I'm glad the sentiment came through--I actually felt extremely nostalgic and kind of moved after writing this post. It's like I got in touch with who we were then or something. Thanks a ton for stopping by and commenting.

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    2. Now, I'm crazy curious what Scott Hinrichs thought of your new post. :D

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    3. Adhis: Me too :)

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    4. Josh, being a nurse, your frank description of the public hair on the toilet was soooo picture forming. Makes me do a belly laugh with tears in my eyes! Would be nice to have an office in Henderson to see you, perhaps we will have the blessing of your presence soon?

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  2. wow josh!! you must be getting over your emetephobia because this is the 2nd post that i've read about vomiting, since your 2 posts about emetaphobia!! and by the way, YOUR WEDDING PICTURE WITH SISTER WEED IS SOOOOO CUTE!
    and the caption is SO TRUE!! you really can't fake that kind of happiness!!!!

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    1. It's true, I think I might be getting better. Still don't want to throw up any time soon or anything, but my kids can say "I'm sick to my stomach" without me launching into a complete internal melt-down, so I'd say that's progress.

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  3. Replies
    1. Thanks! Vomit can be very sweet, depending on the circumstances. And how soon you ate Krispy Kremes before upchucking.

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  4. Did y'all get married young? Because you both look too young in that picture to be legally married. Reminds me of an artist I love who is getting married and looks 16. Maybe Australia is different.

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    1. I had just turned 22 a couple of weeks before, and Wife was 23, nearly 24. (Wife hates when I say it like that, emphasizing that it's nearly two years difference between us. In fact, were she right here she'd be saying "18 MONTHS!" with crazy eyes right about now even though it's actually 20 months which my mind interprets as two years, but who's counting?? We're about to hit our 10 year anniversary, so, yeah. Time goes forward, that's for sure. I can hardly believe so much time has passed.

      Thanks for asking, though. Glad I could clarify that we were legal!

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    2. If it makes your wife feel better, I am 10 years older than my husband. He too enjoys telling everyone about the age difference. Love your story!

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  5. Ah, now you're taking me back! When I was in high school, I actually reviewed both Dante's Peak and Volcano for the school newspaper. My verdict? "Volcano isn't as terrible as Dante's Peak." However, I giggled waaaay more at Dante's Peak. Even at 16, I knew that the scenes of Pierce Brosnan wooing Linda Hamilton were over-the-top cheesy.

    Oh, and you and Lolly were so adorable! Sigh. Makes me feel all gooshy!

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    1. You were DESTINED to be an amazing journalist.

      And thanks. This post kinda made me feel gooshy too, actually. Not the "I'm about to throw-up" kind. The other kind.

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  6. You found a way to make vomit so absolutely refreshing and precious!

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  7. At least your wife threw up at reception. My new bride commenced her cascade of newlywed vomiting a few hours after we checked into our hotel. Yeah, that was excellent for what was already an evening fraught with anxiety/excitement/surprise. Good times just thinking about more than 23 years later.

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  8. Hi Weed!! It has been a loooong time since I have commented.
    First off, any story with the words "pubic hair" will make me laugh out loud. And I needed that today. Because I stayed up WAY too late last night working on a project with my friend Stacia. It's called "Moms and Rap Songs". You will love it.

    Second, when we were in grad school at Utah State, my husband worked at this steakhouse where many newlyweds had their luncheons or dinners or parties after they got married. He came home one time laughing because the bride and groom showed up quite...LATE. Like 90 minutes late. He said the waiting family members drank lots of peach punch. Lots. But I bet you anything that bride and groom FELT GREAT and were ready to chow down on some rolls and honey butter! Ahem.

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    1. I am SOOOOO jealous of that "90-minute-late" couple!

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    2. I think when I get married I will build in a 90 minute wait time. ;-)

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  9. I thought volcano was terrible too but I have to admit that enjoy 'watching' it from time to time when I scrapbook. Its good for a 'listen to'. :)

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  10. just found your blog. (incredibly well written, ps.) and now i cannot stop laughing. there's nothing i hate more in the universe than throwing up, so props to your wife for handling it with such... grace. :)

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  11. hahahaha...LOVE this. I threw up on our wedding night...AFTER the err...consummation. Luckily, my darling husband didn't take it personally and we chalked it up to the salmon I had for dinner.

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  12. Reminds me of my and my husbands first date. We went to a wedding of a friend of mine and we were dancing and it was supposed to be really romantic and I turned my head and burped. and he started laughing and I said well it was either that or I burp in your face. And then we both laughed and it was love! We have now been married 6 years

    I'm new to your site by already love it!

    Kelly Gish

    entered as a member of the unicorn club and I loved it! For so many reasons and so many ways. I have argued with many people that the very thing you describe is possible. I am glad to be proven right!

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    1. Talk to me after 30 years

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  13. Oh boy. I clicked this link from the piece you wrote on Gawker tonight and this explains a lot. And it actually makes me really sad. (Especially your caption for the wedding photo.)

    I hope you find real happiness someday, honey.

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    1. Interesting that you feel you can determine real happiness for someone else better than they can. Also - even if it wasn't "real," happiness is a feeling, whether you have told yourself to feel it and do, or whether it comes naturally. It doesn't make a difference as long as you feel it. Thank you, Weed, for both of these posts.

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    2. Denying one's sexuality is absolutely a form of self-loathing. Not sure how genuinely "happy" Weed could really be under these circumstances. He seems like a sweet guy and his wife does too and I have no doubt that they feel love for each other. But there is no replacement for the kind of love you get when someone accepts you BODY and soul. That's the real stuff.
      I'd be interested to see where this couple is ten years from now, but I'm pretty sure I already know.

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    3. Anonymous...you make me sad. You make me sad because you can't believe that someone cannot find true happiness without giving in to every lust and desire that crosses one's mind. You make me sad because you are obviously a sad and bitter person that seeks to try to ruin the happiness that other have. Just because you aren't as strong as Weed, you seek to question the love his wife and him share. You are a sad and lonely person.

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    4. Other Anonymous--just curious: Are you a Mormon?

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    5. "there is no replacement for the kind of love you get when someone accepts you BODY and soul"

      Sounds like that's EXACTLY the kind of love these two have... I don't know Weed but his comments about his life with his family, especially with his girls, sounds like genuine happiness to me.

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    6. I'm queer, agnostic, and facepalming so very hard at the assumptions some people make. He's a gay guy with a straight exception for his wife; it happens; there is no call whatsoever to make condescending remarks about his life and happiness for it.

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    7. I agree with Bekky -- sounds like Lolly is accepting Weed for who he is... You can have a loving relationship with and WITHOUT sex. In my personal relationship, of a heterosexual nature, my fiance' is not the physique that flips my switch. But I have a greater sexual love with him than I have ever had with others. Deep emotions play such a role in commitment.
      [and let me clarify for those who are wondering, either gender works for me. I love the person, not the packaging.]

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    8. I hope you find it possible not to be a condescending know-it-all, someday, "honey."

      Josh & Lolly are happily married. Get it?!

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  14. Read this after joining Club Unicorn. Glad you had such a wonderful icebreaker to set the stage for things to come. Thanks for sharing. I'll definitely be coming back to this blog in the future.

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  15. Mom & Dad's first date ended in vomit. New Years Eve party. Mom was 17, hadn't ever drank, so she took little sips of everyone else's drink.

    Puked on the floorboard of Dad's car later.

    Yeah, they're LDS. Were then, too. So there.

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  16. Yeah, you seem pretty unhappy to me... *insert eye roll here*

    Loved the vomit story, though not a big fan of puke, myself. My husband has to clean it all up, because if I do it, there's twice the mess. BLECH. Another newbie from the "unicorn club" but you're stuck with me now. :)

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  17. I think YOU ARE THE BEST HUSBAND EVER!!!!...♥...

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  18. I am so totally --- that thing == emetephobic. And your wife is clearly not. It's like a super power or something. Does she do counseling too? Because I REALLY need to get over my puke phobia. I have three kids and I basically won't hang out with them all winter long because I am afraid they will give me the stomach flu. And this post was awesome, by the way. And I love your love story.

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  19. I laughed so hard! thanks for sharing this

    AND I really tried to post on your coming out blog, of which I read every single word, and I was having technical issues.

    blessings and love to you both! Of which you obviously already have tons!

    Thanks for sharing it all. I love it!!

    Elizabeth Sadhu, Portland, Oregon
    Inner Life Coach

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  20. Another Club Unicorn member here - my friend posted it on her fb. What an amazing story. You two sound like you were truly meant for each other. That sounds like a huge trial to overcome, but Heavenly Father gave you both the perfect person to go through life together with.
    And can I just share, the moment I first knew that I loved my husband was when he was cleaning up puke? I have two children from my first marriage. My son was 4 and couldn't decide if he was going to be sick or not. I told him to go back in the bathroom and before he made it back in there, he got sick everywhere. As I was helping him get cleaned up, my then-new-boyfriend asked for a bucket and started cleaning up the floor. Any man who'll clean up puke from another man's child is amazing! We just had our ninth anniversary the other day. :)

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  21. Another Club Unicorn member here - my friend posted it on her fb. What an amazing story. You two sound like you were truly meant for each other. That sounds like a huge trial to overcome, but Heavenly Father gave you both the perfect person to go through life together with.
    And can I just share, the moment I first knew that I loved my husband was when he was cleaning up puke? I have two children from my first marriage. My son was 4 and couldn't decide if he was going to be sick or not. I told him to go back in the bathroom and before he made it back in there, he got sick everywhere. As I was helping him get cleaned up, my then-new-boyfriend asked for a bucket and started cleaning up the floor. Any man who'll clean up puke from another man's child is amazing! We just had our ninth anniversary the other day. :)

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  22. I have a similar story with my husband! He was so nervous about our first date that he almost threw up over a bowl of ice cream. We spent the rest of the night walking around a dark parking lot until he felt better. Then at our reception the music began to play for our first dance and he said, "I'm gonna puke!" Not on my wedding dress he wasn't! So I held his head in my hands and kept him distracted until the end of the song. It's funny how these little disasters can be so nostalgic :)

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  23. testing, testing.

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  24. ok, for some reason when I try to publish my comment on your coming out story, it doesnt' show up and I would really like to comment.
    I think that you are being incredibly unfair to your wife because at the core of your being, you cannot love her as she deserves to be loved. You can both cover that up to others and more importantly yourselves with humour, a funny blog, three kids, supportive words from others, etc. But the fact is, you will never desire or be able to give yourself to her as a straight man could. I also fully realize that neither you nor she will be able to hear that because to do so would be terrifying, especially for her. You may never stray (although most do, even leaders of de-gaying programs stray) but she will never know this completely. Somewhere in some corner of her mind, even unconsciously, she will wonder if you will stray. But even if you never do, again, you are depriving her of the complete love of a husband. Is that what God demands? Is this to be her sacrifice? Does she see it that way? you've said yourself that you have no attraction to women - how truly sad for your wife. You are able to make love in an intimate way you say, okay, good but not as a straight man would, if that makes sense.
    I think the most unselfish of love would have you divorce your wife - this would devastate her for a good long while but eventually and she is still so young she could find a man who could love her completely. Not sure why your 'burden' as you may put it, also has to be shared by her. Go and live a celibate and single life.
    It concerns me greatly that a young man posted in the comments that he will now be able to marry a woman after his mission to Brazil. So another woman will have to go through the same thing.
    This is not an argument about whether or not homosexuality is right or wrong or whether God hates it, judges it, has compassion on it or anything but rather what you are choosing to deprive your wife of. I'm sure you are the loveliest of men with the most honourable intentions but again, what you are choosing to do to another person is a shame. Wake up, Josh. Stop hiding behind excuses and spirituality and what you think God wants and really and truly do the honourable thing.

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    1. wow. stop pretending like you know what it's like in his marriage and what would be best for him and wife because you read a few posts. choose to see the best in people and in the world around you and you will probably be a happier person.

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    2. Anonymous, you are telling a man to divorce his wife, someone he loves, and someone he has created a family with to divorce his wife? How do you know if he is able to make love like a straight man? That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard! He is being true to his self, following his heart, and staying true to what he believes.

      Good for you Mr. Weed! Your story is amazing! Having watched my gay brother choose the gay lifestyle where he is so unhappy makes me wish he had been able to find happiness as you have. I'm so glad you have been able to stay true to your heart and be able to find happiness in ways the world obviously frowns upon.

      For an interesting read I exhort you to read the article by Jeffrey Robison. It brought peace to my heart and soul because it helped me understand. Good luck to you all and God be with you and your awesome family!
      theguardrail.com/understanding

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    3. I beg to dream and differ from these hollow lies. Wake up "Anonymous" in this initial post.

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    4. It seems like all the arguments against Josh have this underlying premise: that fulfillment "at the core of your being" is sexual gratification, and everything else in his (and his wife's) life should be sacrificed for sex? People like Anonymous obviously cannot understand this, but Josh has chosen the things in life that truly provide him with real joy. Having a true soulmate, beautiful children, and peace with your choices in life will bring more lasting happiness to Josh and his wife than any sexual gratification.

      Would Anonymous have a couple divorce as soon as one partner starts to age and become less-desirable? We could use simple examples like getting old, but let's use the example like Stephanie Nielson. When she got badly burned and her face disfigured, her husband should have divorced her, right? Because "Somewhere in the corner of her mind, even unconsciously, she will wonder if you will stray." If there are now many more girls (or guys in Josh's case) more attractive "sexually" than the wife, the best thing to do is completely abandon her and the children to go off and find the most sexually gratifying relationship possible, and hope (with the best intentions) that she will eventually, someday, find someone who will desire her sexually the way she deserves (just sexually, because all the love and respect and appreciation and friendship doesn't matter in this case). Please... it's absurd.

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    5. Excellent point Grant. :)

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    6. Love your points Grant ,To many people are living in the world that only sexual gratification makes a relationship . What if he were in a wheelchair or impotent would he be getting this same advice . Believe me as a 57 yer old women sex is not the center of my relationship with my husband and if it was that would be a pretty shallow relationship !!!

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    7. Tell me something:

      You post as Anonymous because you are a coward who is not man enough to identify yourself. What Josh Weed did in identifying himself took an incredible amount of courage to do, with the support of an amazing, incredible wife, and they should be commended for their honesty and integrity.

      Judging from the harsh tone of your abusive rhetoric, it seems you clearly have none of your own...or put another way, since when did God die, and hand you the succession papers?

      Either way, your views — while definitely your own — are out both out of line and out of the times in today's age.

      I would go as far as to declare this 'Anonymous' coward a Nazi Mormon for his rigidity and would dare submit he has a skeleton (and perhaps more than one) hiding in his closet, just waiting to come out and do tis own thing. It's like he's a soul mate to that Redneck Kansas bigot Fred Phelps and his hyper-obsession with homosexuality at the expesne of all of Christ's other teachings.

      Me thinks Anonymous doth protest too much...

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    8. wow, I'm sorry you feel that way but I'm not sure what you think a straight guy can give her that it THAT important and life changing. In my marriage there are many things that are far from ideal or sometimes completely missing and I have to say that the things that really make it worth fighting for and makes me want to stay married are the kind of things this couple seem to have in multitudes. And sex it not at the top of the list or second or third and I sure hope that when the time comes that we have grown to old or to sick or what ever to still want/act upon our sex drive that our marriage will have enough substance to still be a real marriage. If they love each other, if they are at peace and content and possibly even as happy as they claim to be, if they are sexually satisfied and more importantly emotionally satisfied then what is the problem? And even if they sometimes are not 100% feeling it that day how exactly does it differ drastically from other permanent relationships? Even if she did find a straight guy who made her feel that way again would their relationship automatically not have the many many many other problems marriages do? And at the end of the day how is it more important that he is straight than if he remembers her favorite flowers on her birthday, knows just when to take the day of work and spend it with her even though she claims she is "fine", laughs at all her jokes even if he thinks they are lame, or what ever else it is they have that makes them feel like they are one right now. How can you possibly say that those things are not worth fighting for because no relationship is going to have it all and I think that she get's to have a say in what part of it is more important to her. If your reason for ending their relationship was the only reason it ended, I doubt she would ever appreciate it even if she did manage to find another great one.

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    9. Man, whatever happened to "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all?" "I think the most unselfish of love would have you divorce your wife." You get the golden douche nozzle of the year award for that statement. And I mean that in the nicest way possible.

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    10. Something that I haven't seen people bring up is what Josh's wife said about him. She considered not marrying him. But she knew she would never find another him. Obviously, she knew exactly what was going on. She didn't wake up after they were married and suddenly he tells her " by the way, I'm gay" (that totally rhymed by the way). He told her on their first date. She knew exactly what her choice was and had 6 years (or so) to think about it.

      May I also point out how wonderful it is that all of these people come to this wonderful family's defense. ^_^. It makes me happy.

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    11. How could you even say that?
      Do you not see they way they are together? They have JOY! Eternal happiness.
      And how could you even tell him to divorce his wife? They have children!
      And like Lisa said, Sister Weed knew what she was getting into.
      Look at their weeding picture and tell me Sister Weed isn't happy.
      I think they love each other. The way they look at each other in the pictures.
      And this is coming from a 12 year old girl!

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    12. Something not pointed out as well is that if Josh was to act upon what you feel as unselfish love, not only would he be held accountable for submitting to the act of being gay but he would also have to answer for leaving his wife and children which is very serious in the eyes of God as well. One other thing that you must understand is that we all make some sort of sacrifice when we marry in some way because what we are promising to God and that person is that we will put that person before our selfish desires. That is the problem in this new generation. Everyone thinks too much of themselves and not enough about others. And don't you dare say that leaving her is thinking of her. That is a decietful lie. Leave your comments to yourself and stop trying to destroy something that is good, especially in the eyes of God!

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    13. That is true love. When one sacrifices their selfish desires for the other. Not sex or lust. Moron!

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  25. First Anonymous -- You are making a lot of assumptions about Weed's wife, and undermining her role as an equal partner to Weed. Based on her contribution to the original post, she clearly went through her own process of choosing to be with Weed. She appears to be an intelligent woman who weighed out the options in a wise manner. As far as Weed goes, he is right about one thing for sure. No matter what choices are made - to be celibate, married to someone of the opposite sex, or living a gay lifestyle, you have to give up something if you are gay. I am truly impressed with Weed's courage and his wife's wisdom.

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  26. No one can have it all. We get to choose what we want most, and it doesn't mean we are making a sacrifice, just a choice.

    Love your posts, and especially the joy on your faces in your wedding photo. Thank you for being real, and vulnerable.

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  27. I'm not, of course, simply referring to sex. Josh obviously loves his wife. I wasn't clear which I apologize for. Perhaps clearer to say a difference between loving his wife and being in love with his wife is more what I mean. Being straight is not just about sex and obviously being gay isn't either. But can your soulmate be someone who is gay while you are straight? If you reduce being gay to who you choose to have sex with, then yes, you could indeed have a soulmate who has another sexual orientation. But being gay is, just like being straight is, about who you love (not just the sex) in a soulmate kind of way. For example, if you are a straight man, could you picture spending your life with another man that you love but aren't, for lack of a better word, inclined toward? This probably will make some shudder but please try to work with the analogy if you can. But but but God hates that! You might think. Yes, yes, but the analogy stands. Again, being gay is about more than just sex as being straight is about more than just sex. To compare it to staying with a partner as they age or after they've had a horrific accident is not a valid comparison. Anyway, I realize that my point won't be heard here, it can't be because being gay is seen as a sin and as such, every decision made to repress or deny it will be applauded and anyone who presents a different idea mocked or shutdown.

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    1. Anonymous,

      Just as a preface, I am trying to understand your points. I am listening to you. I may not fully understand you, but I am hearing. I think that in this extremely difficult issue it is important for both sides to listen to each other. What I hear Josh and his wife saying, is that they are happy. They have a fulfilling life sexually, emotionally, and spiritually.

      What I hear you saying is that you do not believe that can happen. That a gay man could not love a woman fully, because there is some inability to connect with the soul of the opposite gender.

      I think, in some cases, that might be true. But I think it's also an exercise in willingness. I have friends male and female, whom I connect with in very different ways. There are some friends I have deep and meaningful connections with, and others that I have shallow connections with. Sometimes, an emotional connection is more about work than it is about the initial attraction, mentally, physically, or emotionally.

      For example, one of my very best friends is a person who drove me up the wall when I first met her. Through a lot of consideration and time we have created a very meaningful relationship. Despite having an initial reaction that was, emotionally, close to repulsion I now care very deeply for her.

      Ultimately, I think a love connection either loving or being in love is a choice. Even when we fall in love, we make decisions that lead us to those feelings. The decision can be as simple as spending time with the person we fall in love with.

      Ultimately, there are a lot of different lifestyles that make people happy. I think living as an openly gay man, married to a woman that he loves is as legitimate as any other--with, and even because of it's unique difficulties.

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    2. Being straight or gay is about which gender one is attracted to...men as a group, women as a group.
      "In love", and "Sexual Orientation" are two different things.

      One falls in love with a person, not a gender.

      Yeah, that person can be in a different gender from that to which one is normally attracted.
      I know because I am in love with a man.I do not usually like men, I do not usually like masculinity. But when I see masculinity incarnate in him, it is different, it is beautiful.

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    3. Both of you have amazing points, especially you, Rivka. "One falls in love with a person, not a gender. "

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    4. I came very late to this party, but I would just like to point out that I believe that the media, movies, and social constructs that we hear from a lot today put too much emphasis on sex being the fulfilling part of a relationship. As one who chose abstinence before marriage, I was familiar with the argument "How will you know if you two are meant for one another if you don't give it a 'test run' before you commit?" I found this argument to be demeaning and saddening. My marriage has always been about much more than sex. In fact, I think that relationships based on sexual attraction--no matter how strong and seemingly fulfilling--will always fall short when compared to marriages that have been based on strong principles, commitment to one another, the ability to talk and discuss issues with one another, and the capability to stay with one another and strengthen each other even when things get hard or don't go as we would have hoped. Sexual relations in those sorts of marriages will tend to be fulfilling, because they are based on something SOLID. When building a house you must start with a foundation that will withstand the elements. It is no different when beginning a marriage. Sexual relations are NOT the unmoving base on which to build, but they do greatly enhance marriages that are built on true principles of love and commitment.

      Delete
  28. Anonymous - I have listened to you and essentially it appears you are saying that somehow gay men and gay woman are different than straight men and straight women. My understanding is the only difference is who you are sexually attracted to - without knowing the person.... Just raw naked attraction.

    That is demeaning to all people. You reduce their ability to love to genitalia.

    If people of different cultures, races and religious beliefs can bridge the gap then there is no reason to think the situation for the Weed's is any different. Why would you try and invalidate the love and fulfillment Josh and Lolly have with each other? I think you should question your own motives here.

    If everyone in life approached commitments of all kinds with the self honesty and wisdom of the Weed's we might have a lot less pain and suffering in our families. Truly as Josh said - big props to his parents for loving him as he is and not making him feel he needed to hide who he is to be loved by his family.

    Lust may not be a choice but true love is a choice you make every day. After about 18 months - 3 years when the initial infatuation wears away and you are left with dirty socks on the floor or hair in the sink and the bright shiny sheen has worn away to comfortable old jeans - then the true character of a person is revealed and exterior values pale in comparison.

    Josh, Lolly - I admire you beyond words. Don't know how I ended up at the Unicorn Club the night you posted but I am a huge fan and yes I posted you to my FB.... God bless you both and your darling girls.

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  29. I am saying the complete opposite - I said that being gay is exactly like being straight, not just in terms of sexual attraction, which is what you said and then you said that was demeaning, which it is and which is my point.
    Okay, I'll explain again because I'm not being clear (my bad!). Straight people and gay people are the same, except where a straight person would fall in love and find a mate of the opposite sex, a gay person would fall in love and find a mate of the same sex. So, it is most definitely not just about sex. Again, it is not just about sex.
    not just about sex. It is about exactly whatever it is about for straight folks - love, intimacy, etc. So again, my example. As a straight person (and I'm assuming, please forgive me if I am wrong) would you be able to live your life out in a marriage with someone of the same sex? Would it be as fulfillng for you (not just sexually, again, not just sexually but in every way a person has a relationship with a spouse) as with someone of the opposite sex?
    That is what Josh is doing. So, if you can honestly say that you could do the same with a person of the same sex (and yes, this is something you don't ever have to consider because God hates it) and make that choice, then that would be a valid argument. To make it easier:
    Josh = gay, Josh = has chosen to be in a straight relationship. Is as fulfilling as a gay relationship for him.
    You = straight you = choose to be in a gay relationship and would be able to find it as fulfilling as a straight relationship
    Yes or no?

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    Replies
    1. Well, obviously....Josh says yes. Why can't you get that?

      Delete
    2. Original Anonymous: I see what point you are trying to make. My husband tells me all the time how drawn to me physically he is. But there are two things; 1. We have never had to be placed into the Weeds' position so how could we even "know" what we would do? 2. Only the Lord knows someone's heart.

      As an example, even as straight men and women who are married, I imagine there are very few of us who can say that we haven't noticed someone else aside from our spouse who we have thought was attractive. I have noticed my husband see other pretty women. I have seen other hot men. I have noticed when another female thinks my husband is appealing and I know when men are attracted to me. It doesn't mean that we are interested in flirting nor are wanting to engage in an extramarital affair. It means that we are human and are tested to see if we are going to turn away from the temptations presented to us.

      We cannot judge how "into" Lolly Josh is. Obviously he is getting enough sexual gratification to state that (although thats really none of our business) in his blog. If he wasn't seeing the "fruits" of his sacrifice and labors....he wouldn't continue on with it nor would he be continuing on as a member of the LDS church. But he believes. He works each day to conquer that temptation by loving his wife, loving his girls and supporting them in the way he knows to be best. He is fighting it....just as all the rest of us have a fight to overcome. Some temptations are able to be seen more easily by others and some are not...and most of us choose not to disclose all of our weaknesses. I have to hand it to Josh and Lolly for throwing something so personal out into the public eye....and opinion.

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    3. The Weeds wanted the blessings that come from committed connection to one person. . . connection shown with eyes, ears, genitals, attention span and everything we can find available to connect and commit with. . . so.. . they "stepped into the dark", or took a leap of faith. Consequences of one choice excludes experiencing consequences of another. Brother Weed decided to experiment in one direction--this experiment means his eyes, hands etc. belong to Sister Weed alone. Luckily, the beauty of this experience is that they both will only know the fun, delight and sweetness that the sharing of THEIR bodies can bring them. (They don't even believe in watching movies about other people's body sharing experiences! ) so. . . Hooray! They don't have to have the empty, gnawing feeling that maybe their eyes and hands should be having as much fun as such and such naked movie star etc. They are free to focus on the happiness they can cause in each other because the decision is already made. Only focusing outside of their commitment will make them hungry and dissatisfied. Comparison to others isn't possible or necessary if they stick with what they started with. I feel like it's a pretty well planned system, myself : )

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    4. I'm about as straight as they come and I will tell you this in hopes of clarifying something even if only from my point of view. i talked with my mom in my teens about love and attraction, about the things she needed and wanted most in a partner. it was a very difficult conversation, my dad had passed away and the man she was falling in love with -for the first time since my dad- was not someone I could approve of, it was like loosing my dad all over again only this time it felt personal instead of an accident, but i stray from the point i want to make. In this difficult time we talked at length and touched on some very raw emotions and I realized that everything I wanted from a spouse I had in my best friend except for the attraction. And I understood that if I wanted it badly enough I could have learned to work with it. It was purely philosophical for me because i did not feel like there was a higher purpose that directed me to seek such a relationship, I had no fantasies or sudden sexual longings towards my best friend yet I could picture a life full of love emotionally witch we to some extend already shared and see how easy it could be to transfer it to something physical even though the idea was brief and never serious, I feel I can understand what their love is based on and I think it is a fabulous foundation and one I still try to finish in my own marriage. I think they started in a very different place that most of us do but that does by no means diminish what they have build.

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    5. I think it's important to draw a distinction between raw, initial attraction and intimacy. Josh has said that he finds men attractive in general, but he has a wonderful sexual relationship with his wife because he loves her so intimately.

      As a straight woman, I can say that there are certain physical characteristics in men that I (and probably most women) find very attractive. I can also tell you that my husband possesses none of them. He's skinny and geeky, with a dorky laugh. He isn't ugly, but he'll certainly never appear on the cover of GQ. Yet I'm far more physically, mentally, and emotionally attracted to him than to any other person I've ever met because of the intimate friendship and commitment we share. I love him so I'm attracted to him, not the other way around.

      Delete
  30. Josh and Lolly,

    Just discovered your blog. Love it!!!

    Two thoughts:
    1. I am so glad to know that I am not the only person who puked at his/her wedding reception. If I am in a club with Lolly, it's a dang good club.

    2. Thank you for your courage and example. As a straight man in a wonderful marriage, I sometimes take physical attraction for granted. However, you have helped to remind me that there is far more than lust or physical attraction to a happy, thriving marriage. May God bless you both!

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  31. Oh my gosh I laughed outloud. This is so funny.

    And I'm new to the blog, too, but I love it. So open, honest, compassionate and inspirational...all things we could use more of in this world.

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  32. Okay, so yes, you are saying that you could be married to a person of the same sex and have it be as intimate and meaningful as a marriage to someone of the opposite sex.
    So being married to someeone of the same sex is then equal to marriage to someone of the opposite sex.
    Interesting.
    To reiterate, it is the same.
    I appreciated this discussion, really and sincerely.
    At the same time, I'm not going to visit this blog anymore for several reasons. One being that I'm not Mormon (although I am pretty clued in to what Mormons believe - the Book of Mormon, the inerrancy of the Bible, etc. Although some will undoubtedly argue that I 'can't really get it' because I'm not living it or because it is not my inheritance or because I'm not a convert. or because I must have an axe to grind or because I'm trying to stir up controversy etc, etc). But the main reason being that this blog and some of the comments quite simply creep me out. To read the genuine joy some folks get from Josh and Lolly's story is disturbing to say the least, albeit honest and sincere, which somehow makes it even creepier. Creepier because it may lead them to show others who are 'struggling' with homosexuality this blog and say, 'see you can do it too." Creepier because some folks seem to honestly think it freeing to deny one's sexual orientation (and again, just because the word sexual is in it does not mean it is only about sex). Creepier because as I type this young men and women are suicidal about their sexual orientation because people are telling them it is wrong to act on it but right to deny it. Because young people are killing themselves because well-meaning and genuinely loving people are telling them that what they feel is wrong and they must not act upon it (and again, perhaps saying, 'look, you don't have to live the gay lifestyle, after all, look at Josh."). I honestly don't care if every single person reading my comments thinks I am nuts or angry or anything else. What I do care about is that people are DYING because of the types of opinions I am reading about here.
    And finally, it is vaguely creepy because reading this, I feel like I am in the 1950s and 60s when many folks in the Southern U.S. were lovingly and sincerely saying that African Americans are not equal to everyone else. This shouldn't surprise me because until 1978 this is what LDS thought as well.
    Anyway, as a favour to myself and to y'all, I'm going to go away now. I imagine many of you will be shaking your heads and that makes sense to me. But even if one person for one millisecond gets that and I am repeating myself because it seems necessary on here - people are literally taking their own lives because of what is espoused here, no matter in how beautiful and kind it is wrapped.

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    1. You might have missed it in Josh's post about coming out on their 10 year anniversary but I will paraphrase.

      Josh said that he is telling/encouraging/forcing and doesn't want people to force/coerce other Gay Mormon (Christians) to follow HIS choice. He simply wanted to come out and share his personal story about being Gay, Mormon and Married to a Woman.

      I understand your basic question about: Gay Man marries Straight Woman. That feeling of sexual attraction is missing - how do you ignore that? Cope? Deal with it.

      Clearly Josh and Lolly made that decision together. How they are coping with that one aspect of their marriage I haven't learned quite yet (I need to read more here on their blog).

      I think you need to read Josh's coming out post again. He states that he clearly wanted a traditional marriage - traditional family etc. Those were things he wanted. His challenge (and his wife's) was the fact that he is gay.

      I wanted the same things as Josh but I don't have the same challenge. Josh is gay and I'm an big a$$ho1e (ask my wife).

      As far as the suicide issue/gays/teens/Mormon Church - I think if more members of the LDS Church took Josh's advice and acted like his parents did - we'd see Suicide rates drop.

      Seriously go back and read Josh's post (http://www.joshweed.com/2012/06/thank-you-club-unicorn.html) and go to part 8.

      "8. Should all gay people who are LDS or Christian choose to marry people of the opposite gender?"

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    2. Annonymous,

      Let me get this straight (no pun intended)... so you find it creepy that people here on this blog celebrate the joy and peace Josh and Lolly have found in an relationship you deem "unnatural" because he's attracted to men?

      Talk about hypocrisy. You are being just as hateful and judgmental as those who attack homesexual couples for being in "creepy" or unnatural relationships. Maybe you need to look yourself in the mirror and start by changing your own negative assumptions and attitudes.

      Because of the gay agenda in this country, Josh's situation doesn't have a voice and I'm glad that his alternative to the typical gay lifestyle is coming to light. Even if it's not the norm for most gay people, why can't it be accepted as a legitimate alternative? I would hope that as an advocate for ALL gay people and lifestyles (not just the ones that choose your path), you would join in our support and love for these two wonderfully courageous people.

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    3. Thanks for not coming back.

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    4. The Weeds are only demonstrating that a monogamous marriage works for them despite the gay factor and they are not pushing it on anyone else.
      It is unreasonable to place blame on any person for the suicide of another because of the opinions and influences of others.
      Free agency still and always will supremely rules. We are responsible for our own lives and God given right to create our own happiness regardless of the opinions and influences of anyone else!
      I myself live a lifestyle that is very contrary to what most of you call normal and one that has gained much negative attention thanks to sicko's like "Warren Jeffs" but I have no shame in the decision I made by allowing my husband to take another wife. I also do not blame others for their negative feelings towards me for doing so because I am certain that I would probably feel the same way If I hadn't had the experience that I have had with it.
      Unlike others I know living this life style I happen to be fairly open about it. (At least once i get to know people a little bit) because to be other wise would feel like living a lie or as the Weeds say "Unauthentic". I take full responsibility for my decisions and my happiness is not based on other peoples opinions of me.

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    5. Yes, I said happiness! Not that I do not ever struggle or have down times but over all and in general, I am happy!
      What most people do not seem to get is that happiness is a decision. Weather you are gay monogamous, polygamous or what have you.
      When you can look in the mirror own yourself and with a clear conscience be glad at what you see than you understand what I mean.

      Delete
  33. Just discovered your blog (No surprise-from the "gay post" lol.) and I could not stop laughing at this amazing story. :D You two are probably the cutest couple of all time. I'm pretty sure I'm going to be a regular stalker of your blog now. I can't wait to show this story to my husband! :D Much love from Provo!!

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  34. This is my new favorite story. Can't stop laughing because that would be something that would happen to me. And it dried up the tears I had from the unicorn post. You're both awesome.

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  35. Thank You for the beautiful story filled with hope, compassion and honesty. The spiritual, mental, social and physical love between a man and a woman is holy. I have known several men and women who have resigned their fate to Same Sex Attraction (SSA) without realizing their true identity as a child of God. I have a teenager son who has admitted his SSA and I do not understand why he has it but your story is an example of hope and marriage can still be enjoyable and filled with blessings. No doubt having a SSA experience is a part of adversity in this life because those in the "dark" side shout SSA individuals should not be like an unhappy bird imprisoned in a cage who should be allowed to fly out happily free. Meaning that SSA behaviors are "happy and normal." But there are consequences when the Law of Chastity is disregarded. Those in the dark side do not realize that the Father of Lies (Satan) is at war against God's plan of creation since he was kicked out after the War in Heaven. He wants people to join the homosexual lifestyle so the earth can be depopulated within a generation or two. Those in the light side know the gospel is true that identifies our core being as a child of God, and that families are a part of the plan of salvation. People with SSA feelings are an essential part of our families and friendships because they do have significant roles that can bless the lives of people and mankind. I was born with several disabilities and do not know why I have them, but instead of complaining about my issues, I seek ways what can I do through the guidance of Heavenly Father. I have been shown in many marvelous ways that I was able to progress than those who were around me. It's the same concept we don't know why some have SSA feelings, but they can progress in righteous happiness. Keep in mind SSA people have talents and gifts given to them as well as to straight people, but in this life, we are tested for our faithfulness to use them for the good or the evil. May the Lord bless you both, Josh and Lolly.

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  36. Ricky, I honestly hope that your 'SSA' teenage son has the emotional ability to cope with your understanding of his situation. I'm certain you are aware of young, mostly male, people taking their own lives or attempting to when they are repeatedly and in no uncertain terms told that their 'SSA' is wrong, no matter how lovingly this is expressed to them.
    I genuinely hope that your son doen't feel even more pressure as you show him Josh' story. It may fill him with hope or it may fill him with even more dread that he can't 'live up to' what Josh is doing.
    I feel that Ricky's comment, as lovely a man as he seems to be, exemplifies a comment I made earlier about Josh' story being held up as an example to young gay people either by their parents or by their church communities or even church elders. I fully realize that what I'm saying cannot be understood by most who read this blog and so I implore you again, Josh, to really think about what you are going to say or write next, because for whatever reason you are now a de facto spokesperson for those who think gay people can successfully and happily live without having a same sex partner and be married to someone of the opposite sex. Again, perhaps not what you have intended but it is what it has become. What is wrong with that? some on here will ask. What's wrong with that is that it generally doesn't work and SSA folks have enough stress in their lives denying who they really are so that they won't burn in eternal hell without having Josh Weed held up as a role model, as nice a person as he is.
    - Fred

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  37. Bahahahaha, I love this post!!! I started following your blog after the now famous post of your coming out (which I LOVED as well, and shared with everyone I knew!!!) and I find myself wanting to share every post with my husband so he can be entertained as well (I made him read your big post and then kept asking him, "Isn't that awesome?! He's pretty great right?") and last night I read him the post about Bambi's mom nuggets and we both laughed hysterically at everything she said!
    I have a feeling your blog is going to be one of my new favorites! Keep it up, and just know that there are a lot of people out here rooting for you, and we majorly outnumber the people who say not nice things to you so that means that you are awesome! And your wife is awesome too!
    The end

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  38. This is one of the best posts I have EVER read!

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  39. Ellen Thwaites BrockmanJune 23, 2012 at 9:10 AM

    Interesting topic. Please check out this family from my town, Santa Rosa, Ca. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u67v7wParas&feature=plcp This link is to their original U-tube video as a response to proposition 8 passage in California.

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  40. Josh and Lolly are people. A man, and a woman.
    A man and a woman who love each other, a man and a woman who have a healthy, robust sexual relationship. How many people really have that in a marriage? We assume that because two people are straight everything will work out, and when they aren't it's completely unnatural. But most importantly Josh and Lolly are and a man and a woman who have CHOSEN to be together, knowing that one is innately attracted to the same-sex, but nevertheless a man and a woman who decided that the connection they felt surpassed the norms of society.
    "Anonymous" talks about Lolly like she's a victim. She is NOT. One of the great things about the Weed couple (besides the obviously unbeatably cool surname)is the policy of honesty between the two of them that is so apparent to anyone who has read the Coming Out Post.
    Josh is an amazingly strong individual in my opinion. He is gay, he wanted a future with Lolly, and even knowing how much was riding on that wish, on their very first date, he told her about the innermost, most private, vulnerable aspect of his being : that he was gay. How many of us could say with confidence that we would be able to confide in another person like that? Take that risk?
    Also, Lolly mentions that for her an intimate sexual relationship was important in marriage (which she now has), and thus, initially, any thoughts of her marrying Weed, she pushed out of her head, so much so that Weed ended up going out with Lolly's best friend. WHICH WAS WHEN Lolly began to feel what everyone undoubtedly has been victim to in the past... Jealousy.
    It was then that she confided in a friend, who only echoed her own thoughts, telling her that what she and Josh had she'd never have with anyone else.
    What everyone needs to understand is that Josh did not hijack Lolly into a marriage, and break the news once the vows were already made. They both went into it open-minded and a little scared. Also, (what I'm guessing a few people MUST be thinking, but I sure know I was) it doesn't really look like Lolly was "saving" Josh. He was not her Sunday project, and to reduce their marriage to a good deed on the behalf of one person is just sad. Lolly couldn't HELP but feel attracted and possessive over Josh, which is when she began to consider a life with him in the future.
    And how has that turned out?
    They now have a healthy marriage, filled with love and sex (both being important), from which 3 beautiful babies were born.
    ALSO anonymous, I think it's shallow of you to assume that Josh is not ''in love'' with Lolly, because he is, and he's stated it, and I think you simply need to stop being so skeptical and accept that. Because skepticism is the same devil that makes people want to "change" gay people into straight people.
    AND ANOTHER POINT! (I understand I must sound like a raving lunatic by now),
    Josh has accepted himself as he is. His marriage to Lolly isn't a screen behind which he is hiding his real orientation. He is not using his marriage as proof that he is not gay. He is. He knows it. But he also always knew that he wanted a traditional life; a wife, to be a father to those kids alongside his wife. and that's what he chose WHILE ALSO BEING ABSOLUTELY HONEST WITH LOLLY.

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  41. Total admiration. The part many people miss about sexual sin is what Weed said. It's in the action. A woman is attracted to her boss because he's nice to her. It is not sin until the action. Teenagers want to have sex but they don't because of their morality. Not a sin to be tempted. A sin to act on it. This couple has chosen to say, "We want what God wants for us despite what others would consider short comings. Sexual attraction is not the be all and end all. We know love is deeper and we choose love." I applaud them! What if one spouse was injured and couldn't have sex in a heterosexual couple? Would you say throw them under the bus? Love, and in particular God's love is deeper than that. Sex is a gift. An awesome gift. But it isn't the only thing that makes a marriage satisfying. Thank you for being so open and vulnerable. How refreshing to read your LOVE story! Thanks for sharing!

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  42. Seriously so funny and yet so sweet at the same time! Love to you and your adorable little family.

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  43. Speaking of vomit... I looked up from my computer only to find my cat had thrown up on my carpet. I was so enthralled by your story that I didn't notice her puking just three feet in front of me. That my friend, is a compliment.

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  44. great story!! That photo reminds me of my hubby and my day...sigh. Such a perfect day! Anyway - It would take me a LONG time to get over that whole reception! You guys are awesome. lol

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  45. Josh and Lolly,

    I am just a random LDS mother of an 8 month old, and a wife of almost 3 years. I can't remember how I found your blog, probably through Facebook, but I just remember reading your story about coming out to your family and friends about your same sex attraction. I have never intentionally been mean to anyone and I try not to judge, but for a while there, I would judge people anyways (especially gay people). I always was lead to believe that they are evil and that they choose the path of being in a same sex relationship and the feelings they have towards their same gender. However, through conference talks, friends, family, ward members, and some humbling of my own, I was slowly able to change my perspective; but thanks to your story, it was the kick in the pants that I personally needed to realize that God loves us all no matter what our sexual orientation is. God gave us challenges and trials. But he also gave us our agency and the Atonement. I see gay people in a whole new light and I have so much respect and love for them, especially the ones who are trying to do what's right. Now instead of feeling dark and gross whenever I see a gay person, I feel love and compassion and I want to be someone that can make their lives a little better just by loving them and making them feel special and important. Not only do I judge gay people less, but everyone else as well. Who am I to say that someone isn't perfect and makes mistakes when I make mistakes every single day of my life? Christ was perfect and he NEVER judged anyone. So again, thank you. Thank you for being yourself and following the principles and commandments of the Lord. Truly following Heavenly Father is the only way to truly be happy and your example is changing the world whether you know it or not. I believe we're all put on this earth for a purpose and yours is to open people's eyes, change people's hearts, and give hope for those of us who are constantly being put down by this crazy world. I wish you and your beautiful family all the best.
    God bless!
    -Makenzie

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  46. Josh and Lolly,

    I am just a random LDS mother of an 8 month old, and a wife of almost 3 years. I can't remember how I found your blog, probably through Facebook, but I just remember reading your story about coming out to your family and friends about your same sex attraction. I have never intentionally been mean to anyone and I try not to judge, but for a while there, I would judge people anyways (especially gay people). I always was lead to believe that they are evil and that they choose the path of being in a same sex relationship and the feelings they have towards their same gender. However, through conference talks, friends, family, ward members, and some humbling of my own, I was slowly able to change my perspective; but thanks to your story, it was the kick in the pants that I personally needed to realize that God loves us all no matter what our sexual orientation is. God gave us challenges and trials. But he also gave us our agency and the Atonement. I see gay people in a whole new light and I have so much respect and love for them, especially the ones who are trying to do what's right. Now instead of feeling dark and gross whenever I see a gay person, I feel love and compassion and I want to be someone that can make their lives a little better just by loving them and making them feel special and important. Not only do I judge gay people less, but everyone else as well. Who am I to say that someone isn't perfect and makes mistakes when I make mistakes every single day of my life? Christ was perfect and he NEVER judged anyone. So again, thank you. Thank you for being yourself and following the principles and commandments of the Lord. Truly following Heavenly Father is the only way to truly be happy and your example is changing the world whether you know it or not. I believe we're all put on this earth for a purpose and yours is to open people's eyes, change people's hearts, and give hope for those of us who are constantly being put down by this crazy world. I wish you and your beautiful family all the best.
    God bless!
    -Makenzie

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  47. Josh and Lolly,

    I am just a random LDS mother of an 8 month old, and a wife of almost 3 years. I can't remember how I found your blog, probably through Facebook, but I just remember reading your story about coming out to your family and friends about your same sex attraction. I have never intentionally been mean to anyone and I try not to judge, but for a while there, I would judge people anyways (especially gay people). I always was lead to believe that they are evil and that they choose the path of being in a same sex relationship and the feelings they have towards their same gender. However, through conference talks, friends, family, ward members, and some humbling of my own, I was slowly able to change my perspective; but thanks to your story, it was the kick in the pants that I personally needed to realize that God loves us all no matter what our sexual orientation is. God gave us challenges and trials. But he also gave us our agency and the Atonement. I see gay people in a whole new light and I have so much respect and love for them, especially the ones who are trying to do what's right. Now instead of feeling dark and gross whenever I see a gay person, I feel love and compassion and I want to be someone that can make their lives a little better just by loving them and making them feel special and important. Not only do I judge gay people less, but everyone else as well. Who am I to say that someone isn't perfect and makes mistakes when I make mistakes every single day of my life? Christ was perfect and he NEVER judged anyone. So again, thank you. Thank you for being yourself and following the principles and commandments of the Lord. Truly following Heavenly Father is the only way to truly be happy and your example is changing the world whether you know it or not. I believe we're all put on this earth for a purpose and yours is to open people's eyes, change people's hearts, and give hope for those of us who are constantly being put down by this crazy world. I wish you and your beautiful family all the best.
    God bless!
    -Makenzie

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  48. Here's an interesting article with the subtitle "Why romantic love isn't limited by a person's sexual orientation". It made me think of you, Josh and Lolly, and I wanted to share it http://www.apa.org/monitor/feb07/lovesnot.aspx

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  49. You can't make this kind of funny up. Thanks for brightening my day with your vomit stories!

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  50. My husband barfed all over himself on the last night of our Honeymoon, while driving on the freeway in California. We both had horrible colds, add too much sun, food and...fun and he just started barfing and could not do anything about it.
    I was laughing hysterically, horrified for him and worried if he was ok all at once. I'll leave out the super gross details and just say that we drove back to Vegas with the windows down and smelly lip balm under our noses, sprayed the rest of the bottle of Febreze before we returned the rental (thank heaven it was not OUR car) with pity in our hearts for the person who would be opening that car up after it sat a day or so in the Vegas summer heat.

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