Sunday, June 17, 2012

A tooth fairy story and an update on how we're doing


Howdy folks. 

Well, we've been pretty swamped here at Weed Central. Today was probably the first day we felt any kind of "normal." We had Viva's co-op pre-school graduation, and then we hung around and talked to the other co-op parents, and it was really nice. They were totally supportive and awesome, and the conversation made us feel refreshed and affirmed. It can get a little bit crazy when four bazillion people all have an opinion about your life and share that opinion with the world, so to have a conversation with people who know us in real life was very nice. 

The truth is that Lolly and I are pretty exhausted. The highs and lows of this experience are stunning, and while we are getting used to things, it's still difficult for us at times. Sometimes the comments are very biting. Sometimes my sweet Lolly cries at things people say and it breaks my heart. Sometimes it feels frustrating to have things said about you that are patently untrue. But these were all risks we knew we were taking in being more open. (We just didn't realize the magnitude to which it would occur.) 

But beyond all of this, there's this shining hope. There was a response to my coming out post that is undeniable. Lives have been touched, and hearts are healing, and knowing that gets us through the more difficult moments. The messages of hope and love and healing keep pouring in. Know that we are working hard to meet the needs of all those who have reached out to us for help. There are still so many emails to respond to, so many people in crisis. People who are hurting, and who need help. 

If you've contacted us, we do hope to get to you soon. We're also talking about how to take the momentum from this experience and channel it in a good direction--so stay tuned, there are plans in the works. We aren't ignoring you, and you aren't alone, and you are okay just as you are, no matter who you are and what you have chosen for yourself. We love you. Thanks for being in touch.

In case you didn't see it, here's us on the evening news in Utah. Two funny things: first they compiled the entire story without us knowing, so we had no idea we were on the news at all until Facebook friends let us know. Second, we don't even live in Utah. (I kind of love how Seattle, where we live, is kinda like *yaaaaawn*.)

Also, we wanted to thank reader Steve Decker who made us a great logo for Club Unicorn. (Yes, we're trying to take steps to make it an actual club.)





If any of you have an idea for a logo, we'd love to see it. Send it our way! We'll probably use various.


Finally quick anecdote:

This morning as Lolly and I were discussing Deep and Meaningful Things, Anna came up to us and said "can I ask you an important question?" We were engrossed in our conversation and we tried to tell her to wait just a minute and brush her off, but then she just came out with it. "Is the tooth fairy real?"

*record scratch*

Suddenly we were completely focused. This was a big one. This was the first inquiry as to whether one of the Big Three (Santa, Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy (Leprechauns are probably a sub-category)) was real. How we handled this conversation would determine a lot, and we wanted to do it right.

Plus, this is not the first "big reveal" conversation we've had with Anna. As you can see here, when she asked us about what happened to Bambi's mom, there's no way in the world we could have anticipated the direction that conversation would go (hint: cannibalism). (Really, you should read that post. It's one of my favorites.)

This conversation went a totally different direction than that. A really nice direction, actually.


Lolly: What was that sweetheart?


Anna: I just want to know if the tooth fairy is real? Is she? Is she Mommy?


Lolly (after exchanging glances with me): Well, why do you want to know that?


Anna: I just do. Because I just really love her. Is she really real?


Lolly: Well, Anna, do you love Doc McStuffins? (Sidenote: Doc McStuffins is a new kids show the girls are obsessed with about a little girl who is a doctor to her toys.)


Anna: Yes.


Lolly: And is Doc McStuffins real?


Anna: No.


Lolly: But do you still love her even though she's pretend?


Anna: Yes. But what about the tooth fairy. Is she real?


Me: No, Anna-girl. The tooth fairy isn't real.


Anna (perplexed): But who put money under my pillow when I lost my tooth?


Lolly: I did sweetheart. I'm your tooth fairy.


Anna: You are!?? You're my tooth fairy!

And at that point Anna's eyes lit up with true joy and she rushed over and threw her arms around Lolly. "Thanks so much for being my tooth fairy," she said. Then we talked about how all kids' parents are their tooth fairies, but that we should let their parents tell them about it.

It was definitely the sweetest thing I've seen all day.

Hopefully she'll have a similar reaction when she finds out I'm Santa. And the Easter Bunny. And a Leprechaun. And a Unicorn. 






100 comments:

  1. I know it's ridiculous at this point to tell you not to let the horrible comments get you down. Because the truth is, it hurts. The things people will actually have the gall to say or the judgements they will place upon you are like a punch in the gut coupled with a round house kick to the face that even chuck Norris would envy. But with time your skin will thicken. And you will be able to brush it off.
    I know this from experience, though not from anything remotely comparable to your circumstances. But still, I can sympathize and understand on some level the biting sting of horrific remarks.
    The Internet is full of hateful, unrelenting, vile cowards who will say anything to anyone because of the comfort and anonymity and personal disconnect that spewing hatred from behind a computer screen gives them.
    Opening up publicly automatically opens up the floodgates for criticism. So it's important to decide how much more public you will go. Whatever you decide, just remember that the hateful comments will begin to taper off as interest begins to wane and the next big thing goes viral.
    The best thing to do is *ignore* completely those who leave such comments and harsh judgements. They are ultimately trying to engage you and get your attention. All they want is your misery. For no other reason than to make you miserable. Don't engage. Just ignore and delete and block. Don't enter into interviews in naïveté either. Journalists & producers from both large and small papers and shows should be kept at arms length. No matter how nice or cool or fun they seemed, keep in the back of your mind that they may have an agenda or motive, and they may misinterpret or misrepresent you.
    Thank you Josh & Lolly for doing the hard things and not hiding your light under a bushel.

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  2. the cutest story about lolly the toothfairy :-) I hope you find your way in all the commotion and media attention. What you did was brave and needed! Thankyou once again! Katja

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    1. We told Lea and Jonah the story of Santa, and as a byproduct,the Tooth Fairy and Easterbunny, ect. about a year and a half ago. It went well, the bigest reaction came from 6 year-old Johan, "you lied to us?", well, um, yeah but every one was doing it...

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  3. Hugs to both of you, from a new Internet fan. I've read all your blog posts now... and I've laughed & cried ( and laughed until I cried in some...) I'm proud of both of you!
    Kathy

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  4. So sorry about the firestorm that has accompanied your blog post and I think Lisa's advice is spot on. The verbal bomb throwers will never understand and they'll move on to the next big "controversy" in time. Though I am still scratching my head about why this is a such a controversy in the first place. I still think your post was one of the most honest, open, welcoming, nonjudgmental, loving posts I've read on any topic in a long time. You guys are great.

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  5. Just wanted you to know, from a new reader, that your posts have made me want to be a better mother. I come away from reading them feeling so good:)

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  6. You've probably already thought of this, but a message forum might be a good idea at this point... <3

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  7. I love the tooth fairy story! So glad you are kind-of back to writing your normal blog. Isn't that the point, that sexual orientation doesn't matter, it is a part of you, but just a part, that goes for any of us. After reading MANY comments on your blog and various publications I came across, I love (sarcasm) that after you have stated your position, etc. that people felt the need to tell YOU how YOU feel and what YOUR motives are.

    I am a new reader, of this or any blog. In fact it has taken me a week to figure out how to make a comment. Needless to say (see how I tied my comment to something you said in your blog) it worked. Although this is my second time this morning writing this. So, I hope it worked. Anyway, I have been reading your blog (only got to January 2011 so far - darn kids (8) and responsibilities). Anyway (again) I have felt a connection with you since I started reading.

    1. I love run-on sentences (see above)
    2. I lived in Aloha and Hillsboro in the 70's (David Hill ES and my sister went to HillHi (or however you spell it))
    3. Your ADHD-I stories describe my 17 year old son (I have suspected it for years, but now I am motivated to get a diagnosis. These posts made me cry because of the similarities and my denial).
    4. I have been to Seattle (2008 and while living in Oregon (76-85)
    5. My anniversary is June 8 (21 years, woot - woot!)
    6. I am LDS (not sure why I don't like to say "a Mormon")

    Love your blog! Good luck in church today ; ) (that sounds kind-of threatening or ominous, but I mean it as a supportive comment because church is full of people learning to be more Christlike).

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  8. I love the deep journalistic effort made by the news station. Particularly the part where they renamed your blog "Club Unicorn" and yanked part of your video so it looked like an interview they had conducted instead of something you posted yourself!

    You guys rock and we love you!
    P.S. As a computer geek I can help out with the forum your readers are clamoring for if you need a hand :)

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  9. Glad things are returning to normal. I remain amazed by both your courage.

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  10. I hope the normal returns to you quickly. And poor Lolly, you are an amazing mother and wife. Don't pay any attention to the haters. Much love to you and your beautiful family!

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  11. Ohmygoodness! That is so precious...when my kids asked about the various mythical people we have invented it was a downhill ride. When they realized one wasn't real it suddenly hit them that I was the rest of the gang too. Oh how I hate it when my kids are smarter than me... and how often they are!

    I discovered your blog with your 'coming out' post and since have been addicted to what the two of you will write about next. You are both truly inspiring and have such courage to tell about such a deep part of your lives. It's also touching to see that you realize you're not sacrificing or settling in the lifestyle you've chosen. You have chosen to live the standards of the gospel and find ridiculous amounts of joy and love at it's purest. Thank you for stepping out and sharing your story. I know the positive impact you are making far outweighs the negative comments you have received. I'm so glad I discovered you... Oh and Happy Father's day!

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    1. Bjorge, you are sorely mistaken. As you might have realized by now (from my previous comments, if you followed them), just like Josh, I'm gay Mormon, married in temple, with three kids. I'm also a convert, who was baptized not until LONG AFTER I realized that a gay relationship for me isn't a right thing to do.

      And, please, don't get me wrong. I am a true blue gay. On a Kinsey scale I have never found myself below 5. As Josh would put it, things are pretty simple. I am sexually attracted to men. I am not sexually attracted to women. I was waiting that "the girl thing" happen, but it never did. "The guy thing" did happen instead, with the full force.

      I believe that Josh is not an exception to the rule. I believe that there is a silent legion of us, tens if not hundreds of thousands of gay people of every faith, including Mormons, in fulfilling monogamous heterosexual relationships.

      We do have our challenges. But we face them with courage and conviction, with understanding and with love for ourselves and our loved ones.

      I love Josh because he is our harbinger & our captain. I believe that after his coming out, things will change. We keep hearing about many success stories of gay people in gay relationships. We also keep hearing about many failure stories of gay people in straight relationships. I believe they are all true.

      But until now, there were pretty much zero success stories about gay people in straight relationships. One would argue that is because there is none. Well, I respectfully disagree. I believe there haven't been publicized because the people who experience them didn't feel like sharing them. "Who cares", they thought. "I'm unique anyway."

      Well, it may very well turn out that we are not unique. And it may very well turn out that Josh's coming-out story may end up being the most important piece ever written for revealing the real scope of same-sex attracted population around.

      As a footnote, I'm not a Utah Mormon. I'm even not a US Mormon. I'm a Mormon from Europe, and that from a place where you would have a hard time finding a straight Mormon, let alone a gay Mormon married in temple.

      Let me close by the following. By writing all this, I'm not implying in any shape or form that my path is the best path for everyone.

      I just want to clearly state, as Josh has done it, that I'm not fake, I'm not mirage, and that I'm not impossible. And I'm not dangerous to anyone, except perhaps for those who aren't honest seekers of truth.

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    2. Keep in mind that Josh is not ADVOCATING his decision. He's getting the word out that it's one of many choices that someone who is gay can make, especially those who are struggling with incongruence of their sexual orientation and religious beliefs.

      If you read his original post he makes it very clear that he does not advocate this choice to his clients unless they (not him and not their parents) determine its the best choice for them.

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    3. Bjorge Queen,

      There is a difference between the true Gospel of Jesus Christ and the Mormon Culture! Just thought you should know that. Also, I am a Mormon AND a seeker of truth, that is why Josh's story has touched me and thousands of others so deeply. He is also a seeker of truth and wants to share it, and help others by so doing! -Melissa H

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    4. I have reposted my original comment below. I was careless with one comment.
      The Mormon church isn't interested in the truth about being gay. They will continue to fight it until it remains socially and financially impossible to do so.
      I wish Josh and his family the best. Sincerely. I do this knowing that many train wreck relationships will result from this club he has started. Everybody has the right to pursue their own kind of happiness. When I married out of "the church" 11 years ago, there were a lot of people who thought I was making the mistake of my life. I'm just glad that I decided I was going to do it anyway. Turned out to be the best decision I ever made even though it was a highly controversial thing for a Mormon girl to do. I know what it's like when people try to judge other people's choices. I don't want to be one of those people. But my heart does break for young LGBT youth who feel that they can't have any sort of fulfilling life being gay. I hope they will always be given the facts and statistics.
      I know that some Mormons are unhappy with Josh because he added his [short] disclaimer that this is not for everybody. Apparently he has not done enough to convey to the gay community that they are totally unacceptable. Yesterday, on another forum, somebody wrote: "sex was meant only in marriage with a man and a woman. Outside sex is very DESTRUCTIVE, including FORTIFICATIOIN, polygamy, etc." (If you don't get the humor, read it until you do.)
      So, in short, Josh, can't please everybody. Might as well not try.
      But again, I wish you the best.

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    5. Bjorge, I like to see "Mormon Culture" (as Melissa put it) challenged. It is a healthy thing to do. I actually perceive Josh's writings precisely as that kind of challenge. I also perceive Josh's writings as a challenge to the mainstream gay culture.

      With his latest blog posts, Josh challenges left and right. And it is difficult to overstate how excited I am for him. He is a master challenger. You think you've challenged "Mormon Culture" with your decision to marry outside of church? With all due respect, compared to Josh, you're peanuts. I don't mean it disrespectfully. I'm just saying that Josh is altogether huge.

      The best way to challenge not just "Mormon culture" but the church itself is to be true blue Mormon while at the same time do not shun from coming out with one's own idiosyncrasies.

      As I mentioned in one of my previous comments on Josh's earlier post I would love to see excommunicated gay Mormons to regularly & persistently attend services with their gay spouses. Boy what a challenge would that be! Sure that is unrealistic now, but that may be a wonderful goal to work towards!

      Let me tell you this. I'm a convert, and the more I learn about the Mormon theology as well as about homosexuality, the more I'm convinced that the ultimate understanding of same-sex attraction will come through the systematic application of the church doctrine. This may sound preposterous to some (many?), particularly to those who suffered great deal from church policies & procedures on homosexuality as well as to those who have witnessed that suffering in others.

      Nevertheless, I believe that the truth is brought forth only in the engagement of visionaries that stand for something. You can say anything about the church leadership, but you cannot say they are not persevering. Well, one just needs someone of a comparable stature on the gay side of the issue to challenge them in order for the truth to be revealed.

      I don't know, but Josh isn't necessarily someone whom I would completely rule out for such a daring task.

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    6. My point in sharing my story was not to try to state that I was challenging Mormon culture in any way. To the contrary, I was in a cluster f**k because I wanted two things very badly: To obey "god's plan for me" and to be with the one I love. My point in sharing my story was only to say that I know these choices can be difficult and personal. I guess it was me backing down a little. Frankly, I don't see how a gay man stepping into a hetero marriage is being that challenging at all. If anything, I see it as acquiescence. What's the challenge? That he didn't come out and say that everybody should choose his path? I see him as becoming the poster boy for operations like Evergreen.
      As for the LDS church, I don't know if I would rather see gay people attend church or see them grasp an opportunity for an "aha" moment and leave. While I think the church's treatment of gays is shameful, sometimes these horrendous policies help people ultimately see Joseph Smith for who he was. If it helps people get out, that's ultimately a good thing. I am a different person from the one I was when I married. I no longer seek to have the church recognize my marriage. That is no longer important to me. Their recognition means nothing. My family, like Josh's, is beautiful. I don't believe in a God who implements restraining and no contact orders on the other side. As I mentioned before, I see God (in case anybody didn't make the connection) as the number 4 in the big four. I don't believe in God at all. So I have no interest in sticking around and trying to reform the LDS church. I would rather see it along with all other organized religion wither up and die. But if I had to choose between a church that's 50 years behind the times and a more enlightened church, I would still take the enlightened version. I do wonder what your version of truth revealed looks like.

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    7. Bjorge, thank you for stating your position clearly. Unlike you, I yearn for God, I seek God, I believe in God, and I'm willing to do pretty much anything to find Him. ("Pretty much" means of course that there are some limitations to it, mainly in a realm of non-violence.)

      Since you've lost that urge (or might have never had it), that's merely a statement of agreement that we disagree. And that's okay, as Josh would put it.

      As for "my" version of truth revealed, I'm not to dictate God a revelation, but what I know is that Josh's story as well as stories of those who came out in "It gets better BYU" video beg for answers, as they are obviously incredibly authentic and sincere. I would humbly offer my insignificant story to that altar.

      And the question is why would kind and merciful God allow such thing to occur? If He finds homosexuality abhorring, why would He put same-sex attraction into us? (Obviously, I come from a standpoint of "nature" rather than "nurture", as I find it true for myself, but I don't mean it as an absolute truth, as that has not yet been revealed.)

      I'm afraid that conventional answers it, like "to learn how to face & overcome temptation", although may very well be true, are far from the precision level that I require from a revelation.

      Where I am looking for answers right now is not necessarily in the realm of sexuality, but rather within the scope of interpersonal relations. It is obvious that there are some otherwise tame & gentle individuals that go utterly berserk when faced with a proposition of homosexuality as an undeniable reality. Then, there are others who go utterly berserk on a proposition that homosexuality is a fake, self-deceiving feeling & practice.

      Throughout my live I haven't learned much, but what I did learn is that a person "gone berserk" is without a sliver of doubt within Satan's dominion. Since gay issues obviously stir huge emotions on both side of the debate, and since I myself, through my attraction, ended up being object of that debate, I cannot help but to try to seek understanding which would hopefully lead to as precise revelation as I would like it to be.

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    8. That was very long and vague like a politican. What do you want to happen? Do you want gays to have marriage rights? The right to adopt? By the government? By churches? Or would you rather that we, as a society, continue to insist that they stifle their sexuality and then give them a pat on the head now and then and tell them there's nothing wrong with who they are?

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    9. More recently developed post-modern therapeutic approaches already encompass the premise that each individual is comprised of multiple identities which frequently collide and contradict one another. For example, one’s role as an employee may collide with one’s role as a parent and therapy may consist of exploring solutions that are most in harmony with the individual’s values (which are also competing) and how they personally are most comfortable applying them as they move forward.

      Such therapies readily acknowledge that even when 10 of us have a similar work/parenting dilemma, all 10 of us may come to a totally different solution that feels good to us because we each have 10 unique differing backgrounds, experiences, circumstances, resources, values and goals which contribute to the varied shapes of what choices would make the most sense for us as individuals. Choices that perhaps one person can live with and feel great about are perhaps the same choices I absolutely couldn’t and vice versa and that’s totally ok and actually to be expected.

      From my perspective, there is not just one way to navigate homosexuality to support good mental health and a fulfilling life. Furthermore, individuals comprise multiple identities that they can choose to lead from at different times depending on their personal goals, values, resources, worldviews and experiences. I do not believe sexual orientation is something one must change or that that it is even necessary to do so to allow space for other identities to be primary. Josh is a fine example of that and so am I.

      Laura Dulin
      Grateful member of Club Unicorn
      Marriage and Family Therapy Graduate Student
      San Diego State University

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    10. Bjorge, I want government out of marriage business. I want that marriages, gay or straight, cannot be performed in city halls. It is a church matter or a matter of private persons & organizations. (I'm libertarian, by the way.)

      I want that every person has a right to do with himself or herself whatever he or she pleases. I want that every person's physical integrity is fully protected and that no one can, without punishment and recompense, physically assault anyone based on, among other things, his or her sexual orientation.

      I want that any organization, including church, has a right to discriminate who would be accepted as it's member based on whatever criterion it deems appropriate.

      I want that gay Mormons open up, particularly in their own communities, and tell their stories. I want that those in our communities who are not capable of expressing compassion and love towards those with same-sex attraction are in minority and are censured by majority.

      I want that same-sex attraction is not considered a sin. I want that a monogamous sexual relationship of two consenting adults of the same sex is considered sin only if any one of them is a member of the church and until brethren decide otherwise. I want that members of the church leave the issue of monogamous gay relationship of non-members to the Lord, accept those people with grace and stop bothering themselves with the issue.

      I want to see Mormons, members and non-members alike, who are in a monogamous gay relationship to more often attend church services. I also want to see more gay people who are in monogamous heterosexual relationships sanctioned by the church to more openly and confidently discuss their situation. I want the same for gay people who chose celibacy.

      I want gay Mormon people in whatever circumstance to accept their situation with confidence and humility. I want that confidence and humility properly manifested among members of the church and the rest of the world.

      I want many more things related to the issue, but let's leave it there for now.

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  14. My daughter, Jenette, was one of your students at NW in 7th grade (she's now going to be a senior next year! My how time flies!)and I have to say you have been one of her all time favorite teachers! I really admire you and Lolly for having the courage to come out and write all this, giving your story a chance to help others. What a beautiful story...please don't let the haters get you down as you have more people supporting you than criticizing! Hope you and your beautiful family have a wonderful summer!

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  15. My sister introduced your blog to me and for the past few days i have been reading all of your posts. ( and cracking up!)I kept wanting to comment on your posts from 2 years ago but didn't because that would be weird and you would not see them. I love your blog and think you are hilarious. I can't think of anything else to say... so yeah.

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  16. Oh Anna, I can only hope that my sweet Mazie accepts that I'm her tooth fairy as beautifully as Anna did. Her first tooth is loose and she is SO excited for that first visit, but I will follow Lolly's example and tell the truth if/when it's asked of me.

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  17. :o( I can understand how she would be crying. Some of them made me want to cry and it's not even about me! And some of them made we want to punch them in the face! I'm so sorry.

    I never ever pray for strangers, but you guys have found yourselves in my prayers multiple times this week. I have had a week filled with reading scriptures and talks on my own about loving each other, and was blessed to have an entire church block dedicated to that same topic today. I know for me, personally, you guys have made a very dramatic Christlike impact on my thinking on virtually every subject, not just this one.

    I hope for the best for your family and will continue to pray for you.

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  18. Pregnant moment....I just teared up reading about the tooth fairy reveal. And I love that you call Anna "Anna-girl"...Lolly you're the cutest mom.

    -Kayla

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  19. I am in awe. My parents have been married for 30 years and have never known such feelings of love or compassion for each other, their children, or the human race in general that you two seem to come by so naturally. Kudos. Your children are so lucky. I can only hope and pray that my children marry so well, and that in the meantime I can do a better job exhibiting this kind of love toward them and to my husband. Thank you.

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  21. I subscribed to your blog after reading your Club Unicorn post and I'm so glad I did! This is such a great story and I LOVE the last paragraph. :) Praying for you and your family! Don't let the bastards get you down.

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  22. Reposed by author with minor change as to not "out" anybody:
    In the past few months, my five year old daughter has approached me with questions about three of the "big FOUR". I've answered her truthfully about Santa, the Easter Bunny, and Tooth Fairy. (I love your wife's approach btw.) If and when my daughter asks about the fourth (the most unacknowledged as mythical beings), I will answer her honestly about that as well. I answered her honestly when [a friend] visited recently with a same-sex partner. "Can you do that?" she asked. Absolutely. Yes. You can.
    My husband and I took our children to the Utah Pride festival two weeks ago. These questions, in my opinion, are only as difficult or complicated as one chooses to make them. I don't know how to teach kids that homosexuality is both acceptable and unacceptable. I don't know how I would talk to my kids if I were in your situation. I'm 35 and trying to wrap my brain around it. But I sincerely wish you the best.
    You have a beautiful family. It pains me to think about what your already brave and supportive wife must be going through. It pains me more to think about what your children might have to go through. This is your family that you have created and I sincerely wish you the best. If this lifestyle works for you, as you insist it does, then consider yourselves somewhat like people who have been struck by lightening and then gone on to win the lottery. I have a difficult time criticizing anybody for having a beautiful family and for being good parents. But I have to honestly say that I think that what you're advocating here, as a mental health professional, is grossly irresponsible and has potentially disasterous consequences. I think that if you were not a mental health professional I would have an easier time with it.
    I hope things will work out for your family. But I also know that if they do, then people who advocate for this type of thing will take that as evidence that they're almost always correct and they are not. It creates a conundrum. I was raised LDS and I know that the Mormon culture can have a hard time letting go of ideals- even those that have been all but proven to be incorrect. They're not always truth seekers. It's often about fulfilling an agenda and I fear that you will contribute- albeit unwillingly- to a lot of pain.
    I really don't know what to say. I hope you can find a way to continue to love and support your beautiful family. I fear that this initial post of yours could be the cause of a lot of pain and suffering by those who will choose to enter into a similar type of situation and then find, years down the road, that it was a bad idea. I don't know if I want to be proven right or wrong here.

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    1. I completely agree with you, especially the fact that Josh is a mental health professional and therefore has a huge responsibility to his clients. And indeed, the consequences to some of those clients will be disastrous although I completely get that that is not his intention. No matter the intention, it is the fact that some folks will seek his help in 'getting what he has' for lack of a better way of putting it, that will undoubtedly lead to disaster.
      I also realize that 99.9% of folks who read his blog and your comment will not understand what you are saying and/or will misinterpret it.
      Josh insists that he is only sharing his story but again, people desperate to escape the 'sin' of homosexuality may well cling to it and try to make it their own. That is very vey disturbing.
      You are brave to post your comment on a blog that is read almost entirely by members of LDS who have been taught that homosexuality is wrong. Kudos.
      - Karen

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    2. Thanks, Karen. All it takes is a google search to see that while this particular blog is dominated by LDS kudos, the general response to this is one of trepidation. Not that all the negative press makes me happy either. My hope is that people considering this path will look at it from all sides and listen to many different stories. Including all of the fails.
      I'm really trying to be open minded here but it's hard not to see this as an enormous step back.

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    3. Very true. Most other sites that mention Josh's story seem to grasp the reality of it, for lack of a better word, much better than the folks on here, which isn't surprising since they are mostly LDS. I was involved for quite a long time in a fundamentalist religion that is similar in many ways to LDS and certainly similar in regards to its views on homosexuality so I get the thinking behind these comments. I also realize that changing that way of thinking is basically impossible because it would mean giving up a part of their beliefs which would be like their worlds crumbling in a way. It was a rather radical paridigm shift when I did it although I never completely bought into a lot of what I was told but still, it is difficult, if not impossible, especially if you believe your eternal salvation rides on this issue. Years out of it and I still have trouble getting the concept of hell out of my brain and I was a young adult when I got involved. If you learn from childhood, I can't imagine the difficulties.
      I generally read these types of blogs because I am fascinated with the kind of thinking that goes on. But this one takes me out of fascination to genuine fear in what could result as young people cling on to Josh's story as I wrote before. Young people are dying, are killing themselves because of feeling that who they are is evil. Maybe LDS members and members of other religious organizations that are so so obsessed with LGTBQ folks should turn this energy to helping poor people either in their own countries or around the world. What an amazing thing that would be.
      - Karen

      Delete
    4. also, Josh is playing both sides against the middle, as it were, by never coming out and telling the media that contacts him whether or not he thinks living a gay lifestyle is a sin or not. He's hedging it.
      - Karen

      Delete
    5. Amen. Here we have all these straight people who know so much about being gay and they've been given a safe forum to get all holier than thou about "self control" as if ANYBODY has EVER asked them to live a lifetime of celebacy without the mere hope of finding love or to deny who they are at a most basic level. You stupid ignorant know nothings think that being asked to live a life of celebacy or marry a person you're not sexually attracted to is like being told to wait until marriage to have sex? Or like being told not to cheat on your spouse? Please!!! Don't talk about things you don't know about. And to those who have made the choice to take a road less traveled: A little less judgment. Try to remember that what works for one person doesn't work for everybody.

      Like a woman from the Utah Pride center said in the interview (above). There are all types of families. I certainly want to validate Josh's family. But from the comments I've read on this blog, it looks like people are just grateful for somebody to come along and tell them what they've "known" all along about gays. That homosexuality can be suppressed. Some are even offended by the term "gay" and prefer the ridiculous substitute "SSA". Josh, to your credit, I very much doubt that was your goal here; to bring the haters out of the woodwork. But that's what's happening. You're just reaffirming their ignorance to them.

      Delete
    6. Seems to me the haters are those who are mau-mauing Josh and others like him. Just a thought ...

      Delete
    7. I am LDS. Probably about as stereotypical LDS as you could imagine ... but I see where you are coming from Bjorge (and anonymous). Your concerns are valid. However, Josh's lifestyle is just that, a lifestyle. Any lifestyle has the potential to bring pain or joy.

      By your reasoning we should put a cap on individual stories to save people pain. But in doing so we also run the risk of removing the opportunity for unrealized joy or hope.

      You're right, there will be LDS members who take this as a cure all, and that is their prerogative. But why should Josh hide himself away when everyone else gets a voice? Why should anyone in his situation keep quiet on the risk that their truth might cause others pain? When it is a fact of life that any truth potentially causes pain?

      It is inconsistent that you are criticizing Josh for telling his story and then telling yours, when yours (marrying out of the church) could just as easily be taken by others as a cure-all and also have heartbreaking results.

      He is not just bringing out haters, he is also bringing out hope (honest hope, not self-deceptive hope). So I guess it just comes down to whether or not people believe that is more important to be open about all lifestyle choices or more important to pick and choose who is stifled based on the fear of pain that is already and unavoidably present. Josh is not looking to become a poster boy for what gay men 'should' do, he is looking to add to the options of what they 'can' do. And people who make him the former ... it is unlikely that they were ever a progressive voice in this discussion to begin with.

      Delete
  23. New reader/follower as well. I've been really impressed with you guys and the conversation that has sprung from your efforts! I look forward to following you.

    As for the tooth fairy, Lolly handled it superbly! I remember making the connection that Santa and the tooth fairy had the same handwriting, and it was my dad's. I was beyond devastated!!


    p.s. I live in Maple Valley.

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  24. Lolly, can you be my tooth fairy?? (I don't even know what that means- but I think anyone would be happy to see you bobbing around with a tutu and wings!)

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  25. I wish my mom had dealt with that as delicately as you guys. Granted I said "Santa isn't real, is he?" which doesn't leave much room to be gentle about it. Doesn't really matter though, I forgot about it in two minutes.

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  26. Ha...well when my daughter was four she got in an argument with a kid at pre-school telling him how wrong he was...Santa Clause isn't real. My Dad told me. The thing is we taught the girls, at a young age, that these people weren't real. They were freaked that somebody might come into their house and leave presents...they didn't care that it was Santa it was their house.

    Recently, now 6, she said okay mommy the tooth fairy will leave money make sure you remember to remind daddy to do that. Also can you let the tooth fairy...also known as daddy...know that I want all my teeth on a necklace for when I get older. Daddy will do that, I mean the tooth fairy will do that right? I want to show my kids my tooth necklace.

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  27. My son lost his tooth and of course was so thrilled to be getting some "cash" as he called it. Well...I snuck into his room around midnight lifted his pillow a tiny bit and he sat straight up and said...mom, I knew it was you! I laughed so hard over his accusatory voice :) I continued to give him his $1.50 and he never mentioned it again and I continued to be the tooth fairy! Love being a mom and all the many roles I get to play.

    Love your story of courage and faith. Marriage is tough enough and if you can stick this out then anything is possible for you and Lolly.

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  28. Josh and Lolly, you guys are my new favorite people. I browsed through some old entries and seriously, they made me laugh. I hope this blog keeps its old nature. People can and will hate. That's their prerogative. I hope Lolly remembers that the Lord counts each and everyone of her tears. Your sacrifice isn't going unnoticed. Remember also that for each one of them that is against you, there are plenty others standing with you.
    In the hope of keeping a good spirit to the blog, may I suggest comment moderation? Or perhaps a spin-off blog where the world can spit out their ideas as they would in a public forum?
    One final thought, I am so happy Club Unicorn has a logo! I'll have to put it on my blog (once I finish designing the thing...)

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  29. Love the last line of your blog. So much.

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  30. My mom (for what it's worth) never told me that there was no Santa. In response to the question she would always say, "*I* believe in Santa."

    She would add, if pressed, "Santa comes if you believe in him. If you don't believe, he won't come...Then your parents have to bring you gifts."

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    Replies
    1. OMG. You mean she lied. How cute. After 25 years of people telling me the same about God, I put that nonsense down as well.

      Delete
    2. Wow. Sorry you're bitter.

      Delete
    3. I don't know how you arrived at the conclusion that I'm bitter, Karen. That seems like an ad hominem attack to me. I just don't agree with people lying to kids. It's one thing to play the Santa game with them. But when they get to the age where they start to question, there's no need to bend over backward to try keep up the illusion. Who are you doing it for? I think it's wrong. The whole "if you don't believe he won't come" sounds creepy to me. It's the same type of ridiculous manipulation that people experience when they show skepticism toward the existence of other "beings". I think that children should be taught to trust their own critical thinking skills and congratulated when they do.

      Delete
    4. that wasn't me. someone else, another Karen or someone pretending to be Karen. Eeek, things are getting nasty and rather lame when folks are pretending to be other folks.
      - Karen (not the one who claims you are bitter)

      Delete
    5. Last things first. I'm not pretending to be anyone. My name is Karen. If your name is Karen, well, that's just what it is. I didn't pretend to write any other post than the one I posted.

      Bjorge: I thought you sounded rather bitter because rather than just ignore a post that I thought was kinda cute/sweet, you responded rather harshly, imo. "You mean she lied. How cute. .... God... nonsense." Seemed bitter to me.

      If you wanted to engage in conversation I would have thought you'd have said something more like: I think we should always be honest about everything, even Santa... And maybe not calling other people's beliefs about God nonsense, even if you don't believe.

      That's what I think. I felt rather slapped down by your comment, "omg, you mean she lied. How cute" Hope slapping me down made YOU feel better, superior. (it made me feel like I was sorry that you were bitter for being 'lied' to)

      Delete
  31. MY LOGO! I'm so glad you liked it enough to put it on your blog! Seriously, if you need any more art/design help, don't hesitate to let me know!

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  32. Hi Josh & Lolly,

    Just found your blog because of a link to your "coming out" post. I think you're very brave and I just wanted to add a voice of support. I'm Catholic and it can be hard at times to discuss openly with the culture things like not using contraception; I can't imagine how difficult your situation must be for you. God bless you both and your girls!

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  33. Thanks for the fun story.

    I just want to say that I loved your original Club Unicorn post, but after contemplating it more I realized it is a can be a tremendous spring board for a conversation about hyper-sexualization in society. I think we've gotten to the point were "men will be men" and "teenagers will have sex" no matter what kind of mentality. The truth is, no one is ever a helpless victim of one's own sexual desires. We are free to act on or restrain any impulse, however strong. Thank you for how you live your life and the inspiration it gives to others, including myself.

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  34. Josh and Lolly,

    I commented on your original coming out post but with over 3,000 comments there, and the difficulty of loading so many comments, it may have been lost. Thank you so much for sharing this story. I am not a Mormon but an evangelical Protestant. I too find SSA a struggle but am married to a lovely woman and we have three terrific children. I cannot imagine finding this kind of joy in a same-sex relationship. Bless you for encouraging many of us who also not even Mormons!

    Josh, I do have a reservation about referring to yourself as "gay." That implies to me an acceptance of an identity that is at odds with your life today. IMO, being "gay" means accepting the gay "culture" and worldview. I reject that and thus do not identify myself as gay. May I suggest as lovingly as I can that you consider this?

    Blessings to you both.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree with this. I think you saying you are gay is like me saying I am an alcoholic even though I have never tried alcohol...
      I did love your post though and I admire you both very much.

      Delete
    2. There is no gay "culture" and certainly no gay "world view" that ecompasses the experience of every gay man and lesbian woman. Those terms are used by those who wish to discriminate against the GLBT community. It's far easier to pretend that a simple sterotype is true than to deal with the complexities of individuals.

      Believe me, I know dozens of GLBT and getting them to all agree on a restaurant to eat on would be impossible, let alone a culture and worldview! I say that in humor but I hope you understand my meaning. Some are married, some are single, some are city people, some are country people, some are conservative (yes, they really are), some are liberals and so on.

      The only thing they are all agree on without reservation is that they want the same rights in civil law that heterosexuals already enjoy. If that makes a "culture" and "worldview", then so be it. But be sure to include this straight, married for 20+ years Mom in it!

      Delete
    3. @Anonymous: If he can't say he's gay because he's never participated in homosexual intercourse, does that mean that one cannot truly be straight until they have had heterosexual intercourse? If "gay" is the word that Josh uses to describe himself, then it is a fully appropriate term.

      Delete
  35. The 'elephant in the room' struggle in our modern society should be chastity before marriage and fidelity after marriage. Chastity before marriage and fidelity in marriage, whatever the gender attraction, would give our children a chance to grow up in a safe and secure environment. We expect people to control their eating, sleeping, smoking and drinking, but somehow the modern society does not believe anyone can control their sexual urges either before or during marriage. Get a grip, people, keep it zipped. ( This is from a very sexual being who totally enjoys sex, but can actually keep it under control )

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  36. Cute post!! I love how you talk about your family. You can tell that you truly are a happy loving family. Keep your head up and let people talk because you two are clearly happy to be together.

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  37. Best blog of the day! My eyes teared up reading about the tooth fairy! How sweet is Anna? Sweet as a cupcake ;)

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    Replies
    1. I totally agree- I teared up, too. I wish I'd been that thoughtful about the tooth fairy truth. But, then, I have mostly boys and they aren't as sweet as Anna.

      Delete
  38. Anything that gets men to remove their penises from other men and put them into women they marry where they belong is a great great thing. Josh, I hope and pray that your coming out results in this in numbers so large that we could literally hear the sound!

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    Replies
    1. Gag. Congratulations Josh for creating a safe environment for the homophobes to come out of the woodwork.

      Delete
    2. k.... I am 110% supportive of Josh and Lolly and the decisions that they made resulting in a beautiful family and life together. But anonymous that was utterly inappropriate! You or no one else has the right to condemn someone for the life they choose. Like Josh said it is about love and only love!
      Bjorge Queen That was a really unfair thing to say towards Josh. Whether or not Josh came out on the blog people are going to say and believe what they are going to. period. Get off your high horse and Stop trying to make the beautiful life they have put together a bad thing.

      Delete
    3. why has this not been removed by josh. no need to be graphic. I guess you can only be graphic if you're being homophobic? I'm confused about the rules now.

      Delete
  39. Don't know whether you'll see this or not, but here goes. :) I have wanted to comment but the other posts have thousands of comments and this one is a little better since it's still under 100. Anyway....This is Wilma but I'm commenting anonymously because I don't want it to link back to me but I have commented on your blog several times--remember we both think cookies should be a form of payment for vehicle repair and we agree that Wal-Mart is possessed. Anyway, I have to admit I had a feeling about this because I have seen many similarities in stories that you post and my own family life. My husband is bisexual but when he was younger more of his attractions were toward men than women. He is unlike you in that he has been with men before but he is like you in the fact that he wanted to be with a woman and he wanted to have a family. I am his second wife. His first marriage only lasted 14 months and he came home to find her in bed with another man. (He picked him up and threw him out the window--literally.) We just celebrated our 23rd anniversary in May and we're the parents of a 12-year old son. It's been an adventure and there have been some issues but nothing we can't get past. The way my husband looks at it is that with me it's real because we have a family and we've built a life together whereas when he was with guys prior to our marriage it was just playing because that wasn't how he wanted to live his life. I know people don't agree with that and say that it is more than just playing but that is how he feels about it. Incidentally, we're not Mormon, we're Catholic. :)

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  40. I second everything Lisa said! There are just some people out there that no matter what the subject is they will say hateful and awful things! Some people just like to be cyber bullies, they like saying things that they don't think will have repercussions because it is anonymous in the comfort of there own space. They are cowards and no matter what the subject would have been they would have said something negative.
    Maybe some people are actually angry, but those are just people who have issues in their own life, and that is the only way to make themselves feel better, and it is just sad they feel that if it didn't work for them "how could it be possible for anyone else?"
    you two are amazing, brave and wonderful people whom exude true joy and happiness. Your message was needed and a true blessing for numerous people out there! It is a positive thing and nothing anyone says can take that away.

    Rock on Josh and Lolly Weed!!! Yours is the first blog that I will read on a regular basis now. Also inspired to be better about writing my blog on a regular basis... hopefully that sticks. I think I need to read you ADD post. I my have it... :/

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    Replies
    1. What I mean by I second everything Lisa said I mean the very first comment. NOT the one below me. You guys are awesome.

      Delete
  41. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  42. Are you both encouraging gay and homosexual activity, masturbation and sex before marriage???? You said about 6:00 in your video Talking to your kids about sex part 1 "when your a teenager it is not the time....... so look forward to it " (they never speak about saving sex for marriage only -God's plan) and you also say "sexual feelings are totally normal, and totally normal and God given and I never felt it was bad when I was feeling any sexual stirring , God gave this to me .............. and now do with it what you want ..you have the choose now to respond to it....feelings are not evil for anybody, for gay or straight or anybody, having feelings is ok it is part of life so you process them and decide what you want to do... And also Josh in your "Coming out of the closet..." you state clearly clearly in #8 that there is no incorrect path for "gay religious" to live out their lives, although you. Josh have chosen to marry. According to God there is only one straight narrow path (for religious to choose)and that path is very narrow. Josh and Lolly Weed you will be harming many gay and homosexuals as well as others if they don't understand that clearly sex was meant only in marriage with a man and woman to pro-create. Outside of God’s plan for marriage sex is very destructive, including fortification, polygamy, homosexual activity, masturbation, contraception, abortion, etc... All sex outside of God's plans for marriage of God's plan is grave sin and God our loving Father knows what is best for us Josh and Lolly. You both are going to harm family and others going against God's will.

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    1. fortification?

      Delete
    2. What video are you talking about?

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  43. God created us male and female, children of God, Heirs of heaven and if we are God's children we don't identify ourselves by our sinful nature.

    "In a society which generally is experiencing a disordered attitude toward the natural meaning of sexuality, homosexual men and women must avoid identifying their personhood and indeed their sexuality with their sexual orientation."


    http://www.ewtn.com/library/BISHOPS/DAILY.HTM

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    1. Lisa,
      This comment breaks my heart. I am glad for you that you are straight and can go through life reading things written by the various churches and thinking "yeah, silly gay people, get with the program".
      That's not how it works. God made me this way, and if he didn't want me to be he wouldn't have made me this way. Nothing feels more natural and wonderful and perfect than when I'm with the love of my life and we are living our lives just as normally as a straight couple and loving each other deeply. I could never love someone of the opposite sex that deeply. I've tried.
      Being gay is about more than just sexual attraction. Its about love.

      Delete
  44. You two are in my prayers. It was a very brave and I feel inspired thing that you did. A wise friend once reminded me to "do what is right, let the consequence follow". And that is what you are doing. I hope the sweet far outweighs the bitter! And the joy outweighs the pain. And I hope you are surrounded with love and understanding.

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  45. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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    Replies
    1. Josh-the creep who wrote this does not deserve a reponse, so I will direct this to you. Please delete this garbage. Sorry you had to see this.

      Delete
    2. I agree the creep who wrote this absolutely does not deserve a reponse. Delete and block!

      Delete
    3. Please see my most recent post for an explanation as to why, as blog administrator, this was the first (it was an exact replica of the one detailed in the post) and so far only comment I have personally removed.

      Delete
  46. I am sorry people feel compelled to tell you how to live you life. As if you asked. You just stated. Because secrets are no good. Why are we, as a society, so compelled to make opinions and judgements on the lives of others unbidden? I send you all the wishes, prayers, or positive light I can muster to find peace in your path and love.

    And I the last paragraph of this post has stuck with me all day. Powerful and full of meaning. Whatever else you do or don't do in life, keep writing!
    AJ

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  47. Josh. I read your original blog a number of days ago. Its been on my mind a lot. Of course, my very first feeling that runs through and above every other thought and opinion and feeling that I have is that you have a right to choose what life you want to live, that means what marriage you want to have, how you want to raise your kids, what job you want to have, what religion you want to be etc. You are a grown up.
    And the same goes for Lolly. She gets to choose her life. And she has chosen you, and you her. And you guys are Mormon. So cool.
    I just can't shake the feeling that you are both being short changed. I mean, of course its not my place to say so, because you say you're not, but how do you know? Lolly has never been given the opportunity to be with a man that can love her in the way that a straight man can. Josh, I don't doubt that you love Lolly with all your heart and soul. She's your best friend. But there is a part of you that has to know you don't love her as wholey as a straight man could. That doesn't make you less of a man, but do you make her feel sexy? I would guess not, because you're not sexually attracted to her.
    And you Josh, well you're the lucky one here. You're getting everything you want at the expense of everyone around you. Of course Lolly loves you the way you need to be loved, feels lust towards you, and makes you feel like a man. She's straight and attracted to men, so she can do that for you. And you have three hilarious and beautiful daughters who are being raised by a father that is living a lie.
    I know this couple. They were totally in love, so perfect for each other. They got married in the biggest wedding I've ever seen. They had a gorgeous little girl. But they are divorced now because one of them was gay and just couldn't do it. She hadn't been with a woman before, she just knew, she knew she couldn't keep lying and she knew she couldn't do that to her husband. I don't know, I've never asked how she knew. But if she knew without being with a woman, there has to be a part of you that knows without being with a man that you're not totally happy. Lolly, while great, isn't fullfilling every part of you, you said so in your blog, you made a sacrifice. But in that sacrifice you took away too much from your kids and wife, in my opinion.
    And I guess I'm pretty mad at you Josh. Because here you are, writing this blog, opening up this can of worms. You said you would answer questions and respond to comments, but I don't see you anywhere on here. Maybe there are too many, but even your latest blogs don't really answer questions.

    You gave this weapon to the religious right to use against gay kids, to say, you don't have to be gay, get in a straight relationship. This is just more ammo for the religious right to use to beat up on people with. And then you walked away. It didn't seem like that's what you meant for it to be, but that's what it is. And now you have to choose, are you going to stand up against the people that are treating gay people so horribly? as you are gay yourself? or are you going to stand idly by and watch as your blog becomes a weapon against people that are already on the verge of suicide? Your choice. Everything in life is a choice, and you get to choose.

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    Replies
    1. Paragraph 2: "Lolly has never been given the opportunity to be with a man that can love her in the way that a straight man can."

      Need you be reminded that Lolly willingly accepted her marriage vow with Josh? That he asked her to marry him and she said yes? That she was under no compulsion whatsoever to do so, and that had she desired she could have pursued a relationship with a straight man?

      Please have more respect for womanhood than to assume that they have no control over their sexual life. Lolly didn't give herself to Josh because she had to, it was a choice that she made. She doesn't stay with him because she has no alternative, it is because it is the alternative that she wants for herself.

      Touching your last paragraph, Josh has not given a weapon to anybody - he has simply shared with us the facts about his lifestyle. The fact that you would rather he not exercised his right to free speech about this issue says much more about you than it does about him.

      Delete
    2. What anonymous says is exactly what I've been trying to express. And indeed, freedom of speech is most definitely a cherished right. As is the right of a consenting adult to marry another consenting adult, regardless of race, sexual orientation or gender. If you applaud the right of Lolly and Josh to choose each other and yet want to cut off that right to people in same sex relationships also says more about you than it does about anyone else. As I don't have the right to decide who has the right to free speech, you don't have the right to decide who can marry. Justice for all, not just those that you agree with.
      And yes, Josh has indeed given a weapon to those who will use his story as a way of telling others how they should live their lives. And yes, I note that Josh says not to do this, but they will and they are doing this. That is simply a fact and not up for debate. Josh and Lolly seem really, really nice and their kids are so so cute. I would love to hang out with them, I think they'd be lovely. I'm certain some of the cruel words on here are really really difficult for them and understandably so. That is all true. But this does not negate the fact that Josh's words are being used against young adults who are already struggling enough.

      Delete
    3. Steve Decker: First of all I hope this worked right and I replied in the right spot, this format is a little different from what I'm used to so I apologize. Second being that a lot of folks are posting as "anonymous" and I don't really want to post as myself for personal reasons I would like to point out that I am the anon from the previous post that you originally replied to. (posted at 5:58am if you need a descriptor.)

      Ok, so on to the reply. You are right in that Lolly CHOSE the enter into a marriage withe Josh and I believe I said that in my post that everyone can choose their own life. Lolly is a grown up as is Josh, so they may do as they wish. I never meant to give the impression that I felt Lolly had no choice in the matter. I only feel that she is being shortchanged by not being with a straight man. This may not be true, its just my opinion. Which as you pointed out, I am free to have.

      I would also like to point out that you do not know my gender. So yes I do respect women, I understand they are able to make their own choices. That should go without saying, this paragraph feels silly I don't even know how to finish it so I'm moving on.

      Now, the last paragraph. Josh like I said has a right to write whatever he wants and share it however he wants. welcome to the 21st century. Josh seems great, he says to love everyone. But Josh didn't come through with answering questions, and even though he didn't mean to, I know his story is being used as yet another way to bully gay kids into submission. Trust me, I have already only a few days later, seen it, heard it, felt it. I am not saying josh should have stayed in the closet, but I do think he needs to realize that his story has an effect on the country and step up to the plate. Again my opinion.

      But LGBT suicide is real, so it pains me to watch the religious right cling to a story like this which should be a story of hope and awesomeness. And turn it into a way to lead and push hurting kids over the edge. I don't want to sound mad or angry or start a fight, but its hard to see this happen.

      Delete
  48. I am a new reader. I came across your "coming out" post on a friends face book page. I am a mormon and came to the post with a skeptical, disbelieving attitude. While I cannot say that I totally understand how this all works for you both, I find you and your blog to be honest and real. I have no personal experience with this and it was interesting to hear your perspective. Thank you for sharing it. Whatever comes from your post, know that it has gone a long way to simply educate many people and to bring understanding. I think what you have done was very brave, people are rude and cruel and often just out for a fight. But I think there are more of us behind you, rooting for your success than there are of those who would cut you down. I realize that i don't know you at all but after getting to know your family through this blog I would count myself as one of those supporting you. Mormons sometimes are perceived as stiff and "goody goody" I find your honesty and humor refreshing. You are an excellent writer and I have literally laughed out loud at your stories.

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  49. Funny enough, my friend posted your blog her Facebook page, but the day after, I saw your story on Huffington Post and in a British rag (one that Rupert Murdoch owns). Your story went international!!

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  50. I admire your openness and honesty about being gay. I did not expect to hear that you play the little white lie game with your kids regarding Santa, the Tooth Fairy, and the Easter Bunny, etc. Would it not allow your relationships with children to be more authentic <--(your word from reason #1 of the Club Unicorn post) if you simply came clean before they find out for themselves that you have been misleading them all these years? The Tooth Fairy discussion with Anna came out okay. The next kid-character combination might not be as easy.

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  51. I have been so amazed at the strength and open hearted information that has been shared in such a inspiring and beautiful way. It has been done with grace, open-ness and sincere sensitivity and has opened a needed awareness for all of us to consider. I have been so impressed and touched by your willingness to share your experiences for the benefit of others. You have done so beautifully.
    I have read the many posts since that offer a variety of feelings and reactions. It is so interesting to hear different opinions and thoughts on these experiences and issues and certainly everyone has a voice.
    In the blog sequence before this one however,...there are several posts that are inappropriate in their graphic sexual insults and wording. It is so un-necessary to go there! I felt that the author should be aware as it is offensive to read such base mud-slinging with vulgar intent. I have seen that several comments have been removed by the author and wonder if these have been overlooked.

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  52. Umm, the unicorn logo seems kinda gay. I'm sorry, I couldn't help it! I actually loved your post and admire you and your wife very much.

    P.S. I live in Gig Harbor

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  53. Love the tooth fairy discussion! I'm sure my daughter knows it's me (and pretty much told me she doesn't believe in Santa either - which I've been trying to fight :) and gets mad when she doesn't get $2 like her friend. ::sigh:: 7-year-olds. Glad your conversation went well. Here's to many more positive honest discussions! :)

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