Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Sometimes 6-year-olds have questions about sex (in Primary class)

Is that such a crime?

So, after church on Sunday my good friend Leslie came up to me and said that she and her husband Richard had substituted Anna's primary class that day. 

And, naturally, things got very interesting.

Apparently they were giving a lesson on the parable of the Prodigal Son. 

Anyway, Richard was giving the lesson and was describing how the Prodigal Son left his homestead with his inheritance, and went gallivanting around, squandering his wealth and living riotously before coming home to beg for a servant's position form his father.

Of course, he was speaking to 6-year-olds, so he kept it simple. (I'm basing this conversation off of a transcription that Leslie sent me via email as well as the conversation she and I had about it after church.)

Richard: And then the prodigal son left his house. And he went to live in a big city. And he did bad things there.



Anna: What bad things did he do? Did he drink alcohol there?

Richard: Yes. I'm guessing he did.

Anna: And smoking? 

Richard: Probably.

Anna: What other bad things did he do?

Richard: Oh, just those things. He just spent all of his money on alcohol and girls and buying nice things he didn't need, and eventually, he ran out of money. So he was in trouble. So then he...

Anna: What did he do to the girls?

Richard: ...

Anna: You said he did bad things to girls. What was the bad thing he did to girls? Did he hurt the girls?

Richard: Uh, he just hung out with some of the girls... and then he decided to go home and...

Anna: Yes, but what did he to to hurt them? Did he do a bad thing to them?

Richard: Uh... he...

Leslie (interjecting):  Anna, he was just mean to the girls. He wasn't very nice to them.

Anna: Oh. 

Richard:  So, after all of that, he decided to go back home to...

Anna: But did he do something to the girls? You know, that thing you do when you get married? Did he do that to the girls?

Richard and Leslie: *Sit in horror for a moment, wondering how on earth to respond*

Anna: Did he? Did he do that to the girls?

Richard: You'll have to ask your mommy and daddy about that... 

(continues with the lesson).

So, yeah. Anna definitely asked if the prodigal son had sex with girls. In primary.  

Teacher, teacher! Was the Prodigal Son sexually active?

Gotta love that kind of honest questioning. Looks like we might be having the sex-talk sooner than we ever anticipated. 

Also in: Viva is now four years old!!!

Today was her birthday, and she had a Hello Kitty tea party. Here are some pictures of the cuteness.

Hello. My name's Viva. I'm 4 now. 


So excited to be having a party! 


And the piece de resistance, the cake, which Viva herself designed and decorated. (Yes, if you are wondering, those four strawberries represent the years of her birth. Who needs candles, anyway??)

Happy birthday sweet girl! We love you so much!



48 comments:

  1. Oh, boy, first post! Yay!

    I like Viva's cake decorating. Very nice.

    About Primary, yup, I could tell you all sorts of stories from my time teaching. The time one little girl told my husband about casting devils out of some pig her family had (she was in a very interesting, shall we say, family. And this is why you have to be very, very careful about what you're saying when teaching Primary. STICK TO THE MANUAL.

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  2. Kids say the darndest things, don't they?

    Tell Viva Happy Birthday, and that her cake decorating skills are super-awesome! I like the strawberry idea instead of candles too.

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  3. So, so very Anna. I love it! Give our love to Viva -- we'll be calling when Scott gets home tonight!

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    1. PS The link to the Prodigal Son story doesn't work. (Who was he, anyway...?)

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    2. Thanks Mickelle! I forgot to take that line out.

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  4. Lol. Bless her teachers' hearts!!! I probably would have said the same thing "you should probably ask your mommy and daddy about that..."

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  5. I have a very precocious little girl as well, so thanks for the heads up. She's a couple of years younger than Anna so at least I know what to expect, now. :) We were reading some Bible stories to my daughter and we read about Jacob. I tried to gloss over the fact that he married Leah and then Rachel, but I was too late. She realized what I was saying and awkward questions ensued. A couple of weeks ago, her nursery leader told me that my daughter had told her, "Jacob (from the Bible) had two wives! Can you believe that?! Who has two wives?!" Awkward...

    By the way, I loved the video of Anna "counseling" Lolly and helping her to recover from her childhood trauma.

    Thanks for another great post!

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  6. Do you think it's at all possible she was just thinking about the kiss when you get married? *shrug??* Naive hope, I am sure, but sometimes you know how we adults assume kids are asking a way bigger question than they really are. (However, I think you're probably right, haha!)

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  7. Okay, so I really want to know how your conversation with her went! Lol

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  8. Okay, so I really want to know how your conversation with her went! Lol

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  9. At least you know she was paying attention. :)

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  10. I <3 Anna. I've asked awkward questions in church too. I can relate.

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  11. All I can say is there is a special place in the Celestial Kingdom for primary teachers....and Anna is just making sure she gets all the facts! Love it. Thanks for the much needed laugh!

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  12. Too funny...that's about how it went in our house too. My daughter actually came home from Kindergarten saying a boy said he wanted to have sex with her...so ummm...yea we talked:) And we continue to do so. It's really just a series of talks and it eventually gets easier.

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  13. My favorite part of this post (aside from your kid asking about sex in primary) are all the other kids in the picture with Viva. They obviously aren't as thrilled about her birthday as she is.

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  14. From the title I just knew this was going to be good.

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  15. We had the sexuality talk with our kids pretty young as various versions of what sex is were being discussed among very young kids, (2nd and first graders), so we had the talk with of 6 and 7 year old, and we refresh it about every 6 months. I also try to remind them to ask questions as often as they have them, I thnks it's going well. :)

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  16. I remember asking my dad straight up where babies come from. He went the technical route. I giggled, mostly because I knew this was supposed to be kinda secretly stuff and you're supposed to laugh like Haha! We're not SUPPOSED to know this stuff yet! way. And mostly because I didn't have a clue what all those long words meant.

    I never got a chance to say this before, but the new layout looks great! No more blue!

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  17. We had a similar issue at a childrens birthday party recently in terms of questions about where do people come from.
    It arose when a travelling reptile party had big snakes and baby snakes and a kid asked where do the baby ones come from?
    The handler looked at the birthday child's mom and then told the children, the babies come from the pet shop!
    All the best

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  18. Funny, I gave the same lesson in Primary. Fortunately, we didn't get into a conversation that had to ask their parents about.

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  19. So Funny...a while back they asked my little girl why she was special in primary she told them that she was special because she helped her mommy and daddy by watching her little brother while they were in the shower!!! I had to explain that we weren't in the shower together! We will never live it down. BTW I love the blog!

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    1. You don't have to explain anything ;o)

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  20. This is the only time I'll comment on this blog. My husband and I are in the same situation as you and Josh. I can't tell you what a comfort this blog has been to me. When I first considered marrying my husband, I thought I must have been the very first woman in the WORLD ever to consider marrying a man that was attracted to men. My husband does not want to be attracted to men and consequently, doesn't want anyone to know about it. This is the first time I've been able to connect with people dealing with the same significant scenario. It feels so good to read your blog. Thank you so much for sharing, from all of us silently hoping with you that our relationships will be fulfilling and lasting, as yours is.

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    1. That is almost unbearably sad, for both you and your husband.

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    2. That is such a condescending comment, anon. You're not sad for her; you're trying to criticize her.

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    3. no. I feel really sad for her. She says that she has to keep everything quiet as her husband doesn't want anyone to know. So she can't talk to anyone about what is going on. I'm not clear why you felt the need to attack me as you have no idea what my motives are, none at all. What is with all of the constant accusing of people on here?
      If anything, she is a victim in all of this - in a marriage with a gay man who won't talk about it or let her talk to anyone about it. Heartbreaking.

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    4. A victim is someone who has no control over what someone else does to them. This lady is not a victim - she willingly decided to walk this path with this man.

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  21. I have had so many sex and/or circumcision questions while teaching Sunday School! Sometimes I've wondered if their parents are setting me up...

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    1. I find it ironic that my parents would go ballistic if my sisters decided to pierce their ears (because it "defiled" the body)or got a tattoo, but they didn't think twice letting a doctor cut off the most sacred part of my body as new born infant! What kind of world do we live in! (American "medical" circumsicion, by the way, is far more severe than the Jewish traditional kind -- they only cut off a snip there, but the modern "medical" version puts your thing in a clamp, peels the skin back from the poor baby's glans (which is like being skinned alive -- it's not supposed to peel back until you're older!), then chops a huge chunk of stretched out foreskin with a device). Before you decide to circumsice your boys, watch a video on the internet of one. You will be mortified by what they do and what an infanct experiences -- they can't cry hard enough to catch another breath! Visible trauma I saw in one baby's catatonic face afterward. Imagine the distrust you're setting a child up for in its mother, coming out of a 9 month state of bliss into the most violent thing you could ever do to a new born infant -- cutting off its very most sensitive part of the boby! I don't get it! Sadism is what it is.

      You also end up walking around as a boy, teenager and an adult male feeling irritated by your underwear chafing that part of you down there all the time because it's supposed to be protected by the foreskin! Sorry if this is too graphic for a post here, but I'm becoming more and more deplored by the practice of circumsicion, especially the "medical" kind. But I still seriously question how God could have "required" this of anyone in Old Testament times. Moroni 8:8 says "the law of circumsision is done away in me." In the uncanonized Book of Thomas, Christ is declared as having said, "If it were beneficial, their father would beget them already circumcised from their mother." In others words, we'd be born circumsiced if that's how God meant for us to be! Foreskin also has a natural purpose to avoid pain during intercourse for both the male and female and to make it more natural. (I won't go into the mechanics -- all male mammals have foreskin, you figure it out.)

      It truly is disturbing to think how to answer a boy or girl's question: "What is circumsicion?"

      "Oh, they just peel back the end of a baby boy's thingy and chop most of it off with a paper cutting kind of device."

      I'm active LDS but this issue is bothering me more and more and now I feel like I've been mutilated. Before I knew what it meant, the word circumsicion sounded like something noble, spiritual, but it's really an act of mutilation on innocent children with no say. Now I'm walking around with a constant reminder that this is what happened to me! Isn't a violation of my rights? Some countries are banning it, you know.

      I'm sorry if this is not exactly primary friendly, but it's a real issue and society should wake up and see how absurd, inhumane, torturous, sadistic and UNECESSARY the act of circumsicion is! "The law of circumsision is done away in me"! (Moroni 8:8). Josh I'm glad you don't have boys yet. Think about it when/if one comes along.

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    2. I was stunned to learn how routinely circumcision was done in the US. I had never heard from someone about their physical and emotional response to it. Thank you for that. It does seem barbaric as most definitely does femle circumcision.

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    3. How did the bloc post turn into this? I don't get it. Also its not comparable to female circumsision which takes away the ability of a woman to feel pleasure during sex.

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    4. Gemma, I remember undressing in my junior high locker room for P.E. and noticing a guy who looked different from everyone else and thought there was something wrong with him. Well, it wasn't him who had something wrong. The rest of us had been snipped as babies and none of us knew any better. He was the only normal one there. That was in a predominantly Mormon state. Moroni 8:8.

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    5. Not even a little bit comparable to female circumcision. Some parents also choose to have their boys circumcised as infants because they have a family history of penile problems that makes it necessary to do it in teenage and adulthood, which is much more traumatic and painful (whereas a little boy doesn't notice anything wrong unless someone tells him he's been "mutilated").

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  22. That is so funny! Thanks for your great blog, you have made me laugh so hard I have cried more than once!

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  23. One day, my first-grade son told me that a girl in his class got in trouble for a note she wrote saying she wanted to have sex with another boy in the class. "Mommy, what's sex?" he asked. I explained, generally. But he kept asking for specifics until finally I decided to tell him the technicalities. "You mean it's like PUZZLE pieces fitting together?" he said, screwing up his freckled face. "Well, yes, kinda," I answered. Whereupon he burst into uncontrollable laughter for about 10 minutes. At the time, I thought I had blown it, but he turned out just fine. :)

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  24. I just ADORE you daughter! I also gave that lesson, to 6-year-olds, with my husband as my team-teacher. Being grandparents now, we just LOVE the kids even more! I get a kick evey week over the kids humorous and different takes on the stories and lessons. Who knew chuch could be so entertaining! Thanks for sharing - what an awesome kid! And cute little birthday girl =)

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  25. Oh my daughter was the best....my mommy and daddy were fighting about my daddy not helping my mom have another baby! Thanks for leaving the back story out little girl (basically daddy wants another baby, and mommy wasn't ready, and his unhelpfulness wasn't being convincing) nope just led the primary teacher to believe daddy wasn't helping the baby making process.

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  26. Dear Josh and Lolly,
    I've been a follower of your blog since the unicorn post and went back from there to read previous posts. I've very much enjoyed following you. I have laughed out loud. I have sympathized. I have cried. I have thought deeper about things. My mind has been open. The thing that I have enjoyed most about these comments and discussions is the way some people have tried to understand one another. I love how some people have civilly disagreed on topics. I wish more of this would happen in the world.
    As I have come to read more and more about your relationship I've had several different emotions. You have inspired me to be a better relationship.in my own marriage. You have shown and taught me how to be more loving not only to my family, but others surrounding me. I have also felt the concern of how does this all work. How do you have a good sexual relationship with each other, I've wondered. I also felt fear for your coming out. I've wondered if you could keep.it.together. Tonight I realized something your relationship. There are people who search for.their
    "soulmates" believing that a "soulmate" encompasses everything that they need. "Soulmate" does not, however, equal perfection in a person or relationship. No one or relationship is perfect. Any relationship takes work even soulmates. Josh, you are sexually attracted to men...so what? Lolly is your soulmate. Josh, you are Lolly's. You make it work because you work at it.

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  27. I feel like this is one of the perks to children: They say the craziest things that leave us stuttering and laughing something hard. Children are on of the greatest forms of comedic relief, IMHO.

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  28. Just make sure you have the talk before she comes home from school (as our younger one did) and announces that a friend explained that for people to make babies, the man has to pee inside the woman. It is very difficult to stop laughing and try to have a serious conversation after that.

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  29. Your kids just crack me up. You are raisin' them right, that's for sure!

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  30. Ha, ha, ha! That reminds me of a time teaching the 7/8 year old primary class. We were talking about missionaries, than asked the kids if they knew someone on a mission. They all started shouting uncles, cousins, friends who were on missions.
    Then one boy says "my uncle was going to go on a mission....but now he can't."
    kids "why".
    boy "well he's having a baby..."
    kids "he can't have a baby, he's a boy."
    boy "well, he has a girlfriend."
    kids "ohhh" as if it all suddenly made sense.

    It was pretty hilarious afterwards, but during...I was a train wreck trying to steer the kids away from the conversation and back to the lesson!
    Gotta love kids!! who else would make us laugh so hard??

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  31. So funny! My 2 kids still laugh because the the first time one of them asked me about sex (in elementary school), I jumped on it! I got the two of them together, grabbed paper & a pen and drew the Fallopian tubes, ovaries, uterus, etc. Then I drew the 'guy parts' and told them the whole process from a physical AND moral standpoint. They were fascinated and knew that I had no problem with ANY questions they might ask - and boy, did they ever have questions about some of the bizarre things their little friends came up with.

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    1. Just remember to clarify what it is they are asking before jumping into an explanation. A friend of mine was approached by his young son, "Dad, what is sex?". Well he took a deep breath and dove right in with a clear and detailed explanation. As he wrapped it up he asked his stunned child what it was that inspired the question. The boy proceeded to show him a question on a paper he had been looking at; sex M or F? Needless to say the kid got a lot more than he was asking for! Lol!

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    2. Hahaha That just made my day! :)

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