Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Lolly is sick. Therefore our lives are a wreck. (Also, I share comments from the ADD post)

All right, we're in bare-minimum survival mode over here at Weed Central.

Lolly is sick with a fever.

Hello. Welcome to our house when Mom is sick.

(Photo attribution: here )

What this means is that our entire household has ground to a slow halt. There are messes. The girls have watched a lot of movies. And I've been spending every spare minute with girls when I'm not at work so that Lolly can sleep.

If you are a single parent, I admire you.

Anyway, I have a couple of business things today since I'm kinda phoning it in:

First, I wanted to share the suggestions that stuck out to me most from my ADHD post last week. There were an incredibly large number of awesome responses to that post and I actually had a really hard time narrowing them down--thanks so much for being willing to share your strategies. I truly learned a lot. (I actually tried a few things out to help me narrow things down.)

So, the first one that really stuck out to me because of its simplicity as well as the way it turned things on their head was this suggestion from Heather Jones who said:

So I do reverse checklist. I leave ten spaces open and when I do something I feel was worth reporting I write it down in that space. Then I don't overwhelm myself with a huge long list and feel like a failure when it is incomplete. It leaves room for imaginations and ADD. You will realize ALL the stuff you do when you get side tracked. Example: Cleaning room and while putting something away in bathroom drawer start organizing bathroom drawer. Add that to list when I wasn't even planning on doing it!

I tried this one out. What it allowed for was a lot less self-berating when, at the end of the day, it felt like not a lot was accomplished. The truth is, when you have ADD, a lot of the stuff you get distracted with is important stuff. (Not all the time though. Like the time I spent hours researching Wagner's Ring Cycle when I was supposed to be catching up on paperwork at an old job. Or the time I got stuck reading about graphic serial killings for like four hours when I was supposed to be studying for a final in undergrad. Take those scenarios, multiply them by about a bajillion, and you've just witnessed 60% of my life.) But with the reverse check-list, you end up seeing the value of your day in a new light, and then the positive reenforcement actually helps propel you into more productivity.

So, thanks Heather. I really enjoyed that.

Another comment that I enjoyed was one shared by Miranda Marrott who said, in part:

Recently read Jonah Lehrer's book 'Imagine: How creativity works' and I have to say it made me feel much better about my tendency to daydream and lose myself in thought. It can actually be productive. Lehrer gives some tips on how to use daydreaming/lostinthought time productively, but I can't remember what they are because I was daydreaming when I read that section.

Personally, I use calendars, all types. I have one on my night stand, two on the fridge, one in my purse, one on my computer, phone and iPad that are all synced. I find that writing things down multiple times keeps it in the forefront of my mind...

I enjoyed this comment because of its focus on the positive nature of daydreaming. Something I've tried to do in recent years is recognize the positive components of ADD. I haven't had a chance to read Lehrer's book, but I would like to. I also like the idea of using a lot of calendars so that I write my "to-do's" multiple times.

Finally, this tip from psychotherapist Diana Hoffman was surprisingly effective:

First, regulate the brainstem using rhythmic, repetitive motion: at least 20 minutes a day of rocking in a rocking chair or hammock, swinging on a swing, doing therapeutic dance or Tai Chi, or jumping on a mini-trampoline. The cadence is most effective if it approximates what a fetus experience in the womb as the mother is walking.

I was kind of surprised when I tried this and it actually helped me, but it really did! And then, as I thought about it, I suddenly had a flood of awkward memories of how I find myself rocking back and forth pretty violently like, basically all the time. So I think there might be something to this. (No joke, if you spend any time with me, you'll catch me rocking like I'm on a cruise ship or something.)

It's highly likely that newborn Tessa thought she was back in the womb because I was probably rocking like a tree in a hurricane at this moment. (Also, I love Anna's face as she meets Tessa for the first time...)

Anyway, there is such a vast wealth of information on that comment section. If you haven't read the comments yet, you should. Amazing stuff. Truly. I wish I had room to highlight more. Maybe I will another time.

I was going to talk about a couple of other things, but it's late and I have to go to bed so I can be Mr. Mom tomorrow. But before I go I have a question for you guys.

If you were offered to be on a reality TV show, would you do it? Why or why not?


  1. Here in Blighty we had a series caled Survivor, which was filmed over a whole year in the year 2000. 30 people of varied demographics (inluding a couple of families with young children) were put on a remote island in Scotland and left to get by with minimal supplies shipped over monthly. It was supposedly a one off event. Ten years later it was announced they would repeat it. I was tempted. I loved the idea of totally getting my family away from technology, of a community pulling together to assist each other, of a more simple and physical existance, all with the safety net of the BBC who really can't let you die. Sadly, the dumbing down that had happened in the intervening years meant that this series would feature 30 young beautiful people likely to argue and prance around in swimwear and sleep together. Also, it would only be for 3 mnonths which is not worth giving up a job for.

    I also enjoyed an American series called the Frontier House which put families in a log cabin for a few months with 18th/19th century technology. Again fascinating. Any of those 'historical' reality shows which teach us how we used to live, I would consider doing.

    Have you been asked to be on a show?! In the situation of having been headhunted rather than just auditioning I would give serious thought to what the program makers want of me, what agenda they have, what situations they might try to engineer for ratings. I would be very wary.

    I really hope Lolly gets well soon. For all your sakes ;o)

  2. Hope Lolly feels better soon, I definitely understand the shut down that occurs when mom is sick.

    I agree with Gemma, the shows where you're left to your own devices and get old equipment to survive would be my choice. I also like the amazing race and cooking shows like Master Chef, The Next Food Network Star and Sweet Genius...I would be on one of the cooking shows in a heart beat.
    Any others though and I would be wondering about the real message of the show and why they wanted me. I wouldn't be on a show just to be on a show. If I'm able to get 15 minutes of fame in this lifetime I'd rather it be for something I really enjoy and won't put me on a path that could do damage to my family's name or hurt future career/business options. I also wouldn't want it to be something where I'm surrounded by temptations, I don't think that's good at all but is what quite a few of those shows have going on right now.

  3. Tell Lolly it's OK to pretend to be sick for a little longer just to enjoy the time off :-). But in all seriousness, I hope she gets better soon!

    The reality show thing, I think depends mostly on what network wants you. TLC does a good job of showing different families in a good light. Other networks, not so much. You also have to take into account the ramifications it would have on your kids, it could be great. And then how it could effect your marriage. Like I said, TLC couples have mostly stayed married (except Kate and Jon).

    If it were me, and I were actually that interesting, I would probably do it, as long as I was given some kind of say over where the camera's couldn't go. But it would be fun.

    If I was doing it for the right reasons. And not just to get famous. Have you been offered one?

    1. My mind is obviously on a lofty plane ;o) Not being a fan of most reality TV I had forgotten that Osbourne-type shows (filmed in one's own home) even existed.

      Tbh, I really can't see anything good come of that sort of thing, especially not for your kids. If you are motivated by money then they might prove lucrative, but in my view at FAR too high a price. Remember the stress of attempting to appear 'natural' for Nightline? Now imagine being like that all the time, in the place that should be your sanctuary. Seriously, Josh, don't do it!

  4. If you go back and do your research of the couples that stay married when they are the reality show the percentage is not good at all!!!!! The only one that has long term stayed together is 19 kids and counting. I would pray. TONS of people would watch cause non of us has ever seen a unicorn before and it would help bills but for me it would not be worth the possible sacrifice of my family. And the long term ramifications it has on kids has not been seen yet. Pray Heavenly Father will give you your answer. But be VERY careful and specific with the producers. Its almost like the shows are on hoping to see the demise of the families and waiting till it blows up in their faces for our entertainment purpose and lots of people do not believe you and Lolly actually love and want to be together and you are not just settling. The pressure of being on TV has ruined marriages. We need to protect things that are as sacred as the family institution. But prayer above anything else

    1. "Its almost like the shows are on hoping to see the demise of the families and waiting till it blows up in their faces for our entertainment purpose"

      I think there's no "almost" about it. It is absolutely that. Serenity does not make for good TV. The programme makers are at best hoping for, or worse engendering discord and controversy.

      You are right, Joshua. Marriage is sacred and should be treated accordingly.

    2. I agree with Joshua. It's hard on marraiges and we don't yet know the possible efects on the kids.

      My answer would be a solid no.

    3. I agree with these always hear reality TV families start out saying that they just want to "show people" what they're really like, "the kids like it", its to ensure the kids' future, etc., etc....but ANY reality TV show opens up your family, your life, your kids, your marriage - everything - to all kinds of criticism, weirdos, public comment, notoriety...and really, isn't that why they're on TV? Nice, normal-appearing families don't make TV networks money for long...and you probably can't stay very nice and normal for long having all your private family business manipulated, edited and shown to millions of strangers. Individual people competing for various things- go for a family or couple - a million times NO!

    4. And the lack of privacy would drive one insane. I lived on campus at a very small college for my first voyage into master's degree territory, and just the fishbowl-ness of others (and only a couple hundred others!) knowing your daily habits was enough to make one's skin crawl.

  5. 1- I don't like 90% of reality shows out there. As was said they're about a bunch of selfish hormone-driven drama queen sluts (Batchelor Pad.. wonder how many STDs were spread there!). So yeah- not doing that kind.

    2- If it were a show about my life, a la Duggars or Osbourns... uh, no. I like my privacy.

    But that's me. Obviously there are those who would.. and do go on these shows... otherwise we wouldn't have them.

  6. I would definitely watch though! Like I said I have never seen a unicorn before!

  7. Only do it if it's Dancing with the Stars.

  8. If it were a one-time deal, I might consider. Putting my whole life on display day after day after day? Forget it.

  9. One more ADD comment---getting one of those exercise balls to work on might help provide the motion you mentioned. Some schools have found that work wonders for many students. My husband who deals with ADD has one he uses at work and two of my children have their own for school. Plus you'll end up with super strong core muscles! ;)

    1. Agreed! The school my kids attend uses these for a couple kids.

  10. I wouldn't do most reality tv shows. They try to hard to create and focus on the "drama." We have enough real drama around here.

  11. Don't do the reality show. I almost 100% hate reality shows, with one notable exception, Hoarders on A&E. but that one is because they actually do help the hoarders and provide cognitive behavioral therapy and other aftercare. But I've also read Matt Paxton's book, The Secret Lives of Hoarders, as well as listening to his podcast, which gives a lot of insight into it.

    Aside from that, though, reality shows have created a monster in that there is a whole set of people who want nothing more in life than to be reality TV stars. They want to be famous for being famous...and essentially doing NOTHING. They can't act so they can't be real actors, though it's pretty well known that much of what goes on in those shows is scripted, not spontaneous.

    Dancing with the Stars? More like Dancing on the D List. No real stars because they're busy with real careers.

    A word about most of the shows on TLC. At one time, they actually WERE The Learning Channel. Now sadly, they exploit anything and anybody. Jon & Kate Plus Eight was a train wreck toward the end and it's been said that Kate set out to be an attention whore from the beginning by using fertility drugs to have sextuplets because she saw the attention the McCaughey septuplets were getting.

    Also, anyone who remembers a PBS Show back in the '70s, An American Family, ( knows what opening yourself up on national television can do to your family. It wasn't pretty to watch the family implode.

    1. I also like that the people on the Hoarders show get therapy help if they accept it. I've only watched it three times, and once the therapy was not accepted.

      I stopped watching the show because people who hoard that way have serious pyschological issues and I can't shake the feel that they are being exploited MORE than helped. And that, to me, is just sick and wrong.

  12. On the offer of reality show, absolutely not. I feel there is very little reality to them. The more successful ones seem to feature people with really terrible lives, which kind of makes sense if they were desperate enough to consider doing them to begin with. Just my opinion, but you do not need to put yourself in a position to be vulnerable and I would not trust them as far as I can throw them. Good luck!

  13. big hugs to lolly. I hope she feels better.

    Now on to the reality show. You should NOT do that show. The reasons:

    1) it's way to hard to do a show, watch some clips with that family of 19 and having to deal with no privacy, people in your face all the time etc

    2) Your relationship with lolly will suffer. How can you have the meaningful relationship with your wife with cameras all around. It will not end good if you do, you are still in the early part of your marriage being only married 10 years. The test is the 15 to 20 year mark.

    3) your kids will suffer, not only from being scrutinized but from having mommy and daddy being in front of the camera

    4) your friends and families will suffer. Yes they might think its cool at first to be in front of the camera, but the first time the context of what they say gets taken "out of context" they and you will not be happy

    5) Your ward will be scrutinized. Think about how many people in your ward are not going to like having there lives opened book because of a reality show.

    6) I can tell you all reality shows are nothing but trashy, I mean look at the new one coming up about that little girl who did pageants on TLC. The family with 19 is about the exception to the rule.

    7) The church will be scrutinized by anything you both say, members of your family say, your friends say, your ward say and your bishop says. Most people out there are looking for a way to say " AHHHHHH I knew it". Do you really want that?

    8) Finally, the movie forever strong said it best. The highland rugby team had a motto of "kia kaha" meaning to be strong and to not do ANYTHING that would embarrass yourself, your family and your team. I think a reality show would do just that.

    Please really pray about this. I think if you do it you will be going down a road that you will never be able to come back from.

    Good luck

    1. All very valid points. Good advice.

  14. I personally am thinking to myself " why would they even think about a reality show?". I think to myself,"They know the destructive nature of them, so why would they even consider it", Why? Fame? Listen Josh, you need to really consider how far you want this to go, how far are you willing to allow your family to be sucked in to this issue. You do not want to put your family in harms way and you say you care about your family, but then you consider a show that would do just that. Your family will not recover if you do this type of show. Be more then the publicity. It's not worth a possibly ruining your families progression and kids. It just not worth it.

    I mean go do a "great race" type of show etc but stay away from the reality. They just want to show the world that a gay man married to a women will not work. They want to see it go down on TV and you know it.

  15. I hope Lolly feels better too.

    I agree with most of the previous posts about a reality show. I strongly dislike them and I think you would lose control of how you and Lolly present yourselves and your family - this blog is where you are able to maintain that control (to a point). There was an article in Utah some years ago that featured couples in your situation (I think you may have been in it under a pseudonym - I may have seen the link somewhere here) but the couple who was most scrutinized/featured ended up dissolving their marriage - and that was just a newspaper feature! I don't doubt that you and Lolly love each other - I sincerely admire you both - but I think that willingly inviting that kind of intrusion is asking for trouble.

    I think you are much more effective utilizing a blog than a TV show. You have a unique sense of humor and you write well and I fear that would be lost in a television show where someone else is in charge of the editing.

    And finally, I appreciate the comments and suggestions for coping with ADD as I too suffer from it. Thank you.

  16. Well, I know you are probably sick of hearing about my HH experience, but that was one week of filming and one half-hour show, and then 6 years later thousands of people angry at me for telling how it was filmed and ruining their fun. I remember having panic attacks during filming about how things were going and getting promptings from the Spirit that this show was NOT that important in the grand scheme of things and to just not worry about it. Those producers run the show and the angle EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. and if you try to put a positive spin on something, they can edit that out and then find a facial expression of yours from the tape somewhere else to make their point. Editing can DO ANYTHING. I just don't want you to say I didn't warn you :). My advice is NO. You are such an excellent writer I think you can make your success simply on this blog as well as books if you like.

    Good luck!


  17. If they've invited you to be on Dancing with the Stars, you should do it. (I would so watch!) The prying into your personal life in minimal. And the rythmic motion might even help with your ADD. :)

  18. The other commenters are quite right about editing, though -- whatever angle the producers want to be pushed is what will come thru, no matter how hard you try to make it otherwise. (This is even true, sadly, on DWTS. Just look at poor Maks!)

  19. Hope your Mr. Mom day is going well and Lolly is feeling better soon!

    re: reality show:
    for NO amount of money should you do that! Period.
    the list of 8 reasons posted by Anonymous isn't even all of them!

    IF The Church asked to do a program on you, I would tell you to prayerfully consider it. Your "not the average relationship" is a comfort to those of us also in various "not average" marriages.

    IF you are asked about a reality show from anyone else, I must tell you to be highly suspicious about their motives, what they will edit the footage to actually become, etc.

    Here on your blog, you have some control of what is said BY you and TO you and ABOUT you. On a reality show, you WILL NOT! no matter how good the contract, your family will end up "sensationalized".

    Keep the wonderful family you have. Do not put them on display for an uncaring, harsh world to judge, mock or misunderstand. Please.

  20. I agree with Pam and the others. The producers will edit it however they can to make things more exciting, create conflict or whatever. Look at the Nightline post and how they made things sound between Lolly and her parents!

  21. The same thing happens in our house when my wife is sick. There is no doubt in my mind that my wife is a hero when it comes to all that she does and I'm sure that it's the same way for you and Lolly.

    It's been interesting hearing you describe your ADHD-I. I see a lot of similarities with what I do. I've just thought all this time that I like to procrastinate but hearing your description of how it affects you sounds very familiar and it has made me wonder...

    I'm gonna weigh in with the majority of the other people and say that, in my opinion, the reality shows are bad news. The only things that sell are salacious stories or other scandals. You guys are so sweet and it would be horrible to sully your family with that kind of trash. I love reading your blog and watching your occasional vlogs and your message gets out just fine through those mediums and you retain control, rather than some producer looking to get ratings. You guys are awesome and I hope that you don't change a thing!

    Now stop reading the comments and get back to work... :P

  22. I don't believe in reality TV anymore. I don't like that people call it reality TV because its almost always fabricated in some way (you know, to make it exciting/add drama). I wouldn't do it.

  23. A reality show? I don't recommend it. If you aren't able to handle the tiny amount of less than positive comments you get now, there is no way you could handle the tidal wave of skepticism, negativity and mocking you would get from doing a reality show.
    Further, does Mormonism need that kind of publicity? People would really be scrutizining it closely - looking fully at its history, what the prophets past and present are saying/have said, what the church's (and ultimately your) stance on homosexuality is - not sure you'd be able to hedge the reasons why you've chosen to marry a woman if you do a reality show. That said, the Browns have hedged their real stance on homosexuality so it is possible. But they have become caricatures. People would really be digging into the racial history of Mormonism as well as where all of its money goes, etc. These kinds of questions and research can easily be deleted on your own blog either by deleting comments or deleting a whole post but once you are on a reality show, you will lose total control.
    And I say this in all sincerity, Josh, if you open yourself up to a reality show, you are opening yourself up to critics that are far far more critical than the most critical comment I've ever made on here. I believe that Mormonism works best for people when it is not dug too deeply into or too critically into. I can't imagine that the Mormon Church itself would back a reality show.

    1. I am not saying Josh SHOULD do a reality show. For the reasons listed above it might not be GREAT for his family etc.
      It might be GOOD for Mormonism to be in the public eye. If it can't hold up to scrutiny, it has a bigger problem.

      I would watch. But it's not great on a marriage to be in the public eye like that.

      Josh, just really think about it. It might be good for people to see they have choices. More people could see your story. Could see that religion doesn't have to mean hatred.
      But would it be worth the risks? I don't know.

      I might be willing to do it. But I don't have kids. SO...really think about it.

    2. Why would having a Mormon reality show contestant necessitate scrutinizing the Mormon church on the show? Even if it's a dancing or cooking show? Would you need to scrutinize the Presbyterian church's finances and racial history if you had a Presbyterian contestant?

  24. NO! Please don't tell me some network approached you to do a reality show! I really feel that those kind of shows are "dumbing down" the population. I have two teenagers and I catch them watching these shows now and again. Ugh! It seems like people are starting to believe that nothing really "counts" unless it's splashed all over the tv, internet, and all the other social media.

    Honestly, of course I think the money would be great and it would set you financially - possibly even for life. But will it be worth it?

    I think your situation is unique to you and your wife (and family). I think it's great it works for you. I applaud your decision to "come out" and let people know there are alternate lifestyles out there. I think everyone has to choose for themselves what works for them, and I am baffled by some of the vehement criticism you get. It's your life, it works for you, how can they say it doesn't?!?

    Someone above also mentioned that these reality shows are somewhat "skewed" and I believe that to be true also. I think they set up situations and edit and cut and do whatever they can to get sensationalism in there. I mean, really, how long would a show stay on the air if they showed the mundane, day to day life of every-day people? They've got to "spice it up" for the ratings and viewership, etc. My husband heard that when Survivor first came out, some of the scenes were re-filmed in Griffith Park (here in LA)! I wouldn't put it past the executives to do that! A lot of TV is NOT real - reality show or not!!

    Of course, again, it's your decision for YOUR life. Do what you feel is best for your family.

    I'm glad I found your blog and I check in on it several times a week (and I am Mormon). Good luck to you!

    Amy (I don't know how to post a comment other than to use "anonymous". But my name is Amy - Hi!)

  25. No, I would NEVER do a reality television show. If you have ever watched one, you didn't watch anything close to reality. The producers of such shows take clips out of context and throw them together to produce something that will draw ratings. Most people's lives are pretty boring, but those producers sure know how to sensationalize anything. I would never subject my children to that, either. But that's just me. I don't feel it is helpful to shed light on any subject at all, just look at that guy who did Sister Wives. What a nightmare for him, and his wives, and children! He wanted to show the world that his family wasn't "Big Love", but that backfired on him. Anyways, I'm sorry for my strong opinion in the negative, I really do love you and your family quite a bit. If I were you, I would study it out in your mind, and take it to the Lord. Because He can tell ya what's best for you and your sweet family.

    Best wishes to Lolly for a speedy recovery! :-)

  26. Frequently I turn to my husband and say, "I'm so glad we are not famous." If you look at ANYONE who is in the public eye, everything they say or do or think is open to public opinion. Examples: Pippa Middleton and the size of her behind, Tom Cruise and his messy divorce, Prince William's thinning hair, Brad Pitt's mother. The list goes on and on.

    1. So true. Reality TV has led to a whole generation of kids whose aspiration is to be 'rich and famous'. Haven't they twigged? It would be so much better to be 'rich and anonymous'. Make shedloads of money in business, don't run for president, and sail your yacht out to your holiday home in Moustique.

  27. I would never be in a reality show. You basically sign away the ability to tell your own story and have it presented truthfully. Producers and networks usually have legal right to present in what ever way they want, what ever way will produce the most profit for them. Most of the time, the subjects get exploited, used and their lives are disrupted and shattered. Look at the stars of "John and Kate + 8." Sorry for my bluntness but that's what I feel.

    However, I think there is definitely a market (myself included) for learning more about you and your family though. You have an interesting story and very inspiring. Have you thought of the possibility of doing a documentary?? Documentaries tend to be more fact-based (I find) and, depending on how you go about it, would allow for more content-control from the subjects. You could do it yourself or talk to some producers who may be interested. As a viewer and a fan, I'd definitely be more interested in watching a documentary about you and your family than a reality show.

    1. BTW, best wishes for a full and speedy recovery for Lolly. Hope the rest of you stay healthy, too, because if your little girls get sick, you'll really be feeling the Armageddon. lol!! Good luck!

  28. He said, if you were offered...would you do it? Not, I was offered, should I do it?
    ...just saying :)

  29. Whether you have been offered to do a reality show or not, I'm thinking you should audition for Wipe Out. Seriously! They wouldn't pry into your life at all, you could give a shout-out to your blog, and we would all watch and laugh and it would be magical. You think I'm joking, but I'm completely serious. Wipe Out. Audition. Go. Now. Do it!

  30. I have seen very little of reality shows and the little I've seen encouraged me to change the channel to something more interesting to me. I feel the same way about the commercials for the reality shows. For something that's called a "reality" show it's certainly unreal to me. As to how I feel about being on a reality show: I am overweight and not physically adept. I think I'd have to be offered a huge sum (with the taxes on it already paid) for me to even be willing to make a fool of myself on TV.

  31. My assumed name on this blog is Todos Santos.

    N-O spells no. Reality shows are manipulative and phony. Their concept of "reality" is cynical and mean. As many of the comments above have said, the producers edit what you say and do, to tell the story they want. A friend of mine was on a reality show, and was very bummed by the way he was presented. PLEASE don't go on a reality show.

  32. First, thank you! I'm a single mom of two kiddos, one with autism and the other...well the doctors think she has autism, too, but we shall see.

    As for your question about a reality show? H.E.L.L. NO!! Absolutely not, because then you completely lose your privacy. That's just me. If you feel like people could learn from you, and you and Lolly think it's a good thing for your family after praying about it, then go for it.

  33. Is it totally sad that I feel like the coolest person in the world because you liked my comment?! Okay it is a little sad, but I totally have been bragging to my husband about it and he made me explain three times before he understood how awesome it is(he doesn't understand blogging).

    As for reality show, I say no. It could be a good experience but the odds are against you. People will criticize everything you do. You already mentioned how some comments from this blog already hurt Lolly and with a reality show it would be a hundred times worse. So I guess it really is how strong you all are as a family and as individuals.

    I would watch it though!

  34. Reality show? Probably not. Very rarely does a reality show bring out the best in people....usually it brings out the worst in people, not only on the show, but in the criticism from 'fans' of the show. I think the criticism would be the most difficult part.

  35. Eh...I'd just say no to a reality show. Once the genie is out of the bottle, you can't put it back.

  36. I think I would prefer to avoid reality television, since reality television is not actually realistic. Reality TV likes to focus on the negatives to create intriguing drama that will keep viewers watching. Although I cannot say for certain, I would be unsurprised to find out that film crews "add fuel to the fire" whenever they sense tension.

  37. Great post. I would absolutely not be on a reality TV show. Just knowing someone is watching me could possibly take the authenticity out of living, out of relationships and interactions with other people. Maybe some people can still behave naturally and normally with cameras rolling without it affecting how they behave, but I don't think I could.

  38. I feet like I needed to respond to give my two cents on this topic. About 4 months ago I stepped up to fill a local political position that was filled with a lot of drama. As a private and sensitive
    person, this is not something I would normally do but I felt that God had a plan for me for this and his message was very clear about His
    will for 6 months leading up to the actual event.

    It has been pretty stressful and sometimes overwhelming at times and I feel bad that my family had to deal with both my breakdowns and schedule as I am trying to get everything straightened out. When newspaper articles come out updating people on the situation, I very often encounter remarks (both positive and negative) from not only people I am close to (family and friends) but also anyone that can match the name in the newspaper to the email or kid. The biggest stressor has been the loss of privacy and control -- The newspaper will slant the story however they want and people will say mean things anonymously.

    So I personally would never do a reality show – I have a hard enough time with the occasional newspaper article.

  39. It's very brave of you and Lolly to share your personal life & story, which will be a blessing in your life & other's. But I think there will be better and more appropriate venue's to do so. You make a big difference already, look forward to hearing you at the upcoming Evergreen Devotional.