Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Fan girls + Check in

Before the check-in, I want to share a couple of pictures from the AMCAP conference. I would have shared them in the post, but they didn't get uploaded in time, but I promised I would so, BOOM. More awesome photos.

Here is my very first picture with fan girls:

These ladies came up and were like "Um, we're your fangirls. Seriously." Then we had a great conversation. Thanks guys!
(Stephanie Gomez and Christine Johnson)

Spencer Ficiur had to join in on the fun and became an honorary fangirl. 

It's official: now I really know I'm gaymous. (Btw, my computer still always wants to change gaymous to haymows. WHAT THE CRAP ARE HAYMOWS?) Also, I know I'm really truly gaymous because I actually signed autographs for the first time at that conference. Except, turns out, I suck at signing autographs and completely forgot to personalize them in any way. Yeah. I'm rad like that. So, sorry if you got my stilted, awkward signature and no personalized message. I suck at life. And at being haymows. (see what i did there?)


All right: I should really just copy and paste the instructions so I don't have to re-write them every time but I'm too lazy to do that, which seems weird because somehow I'm not too lazy to re-write it every time? I'm baffled by this as well. But whatever, here goes.

If you're new here, on Wednesdays/Thursdays, we do check-ins. It's just a way to connect with your emotions, set a goal for yourself, and share a little about your life. You check in with how you are doing physically, emotionally and spiritually. Then you share a small, reachable goal, and update us on how you did on the goal from the week before. This is not intended to supplement or replace actual contact with a mental health professional. It's just for fun, y'all. Oh, and you're not allowed to say "good" or "fine".


Physically: I feel better than I have in a long time. I'm going to the gym regularly and I am in control of my eating thanks to a little app I like to call myfitnesspal, or theawesomestappevercreated. If you're on it, you should totally friend me. I need all the support I can get, and I'll cheer you along as well. Anyway, I love feeling in control of my eating, and I feel much better about myself when I'm going to the gym regularly. Doesn't hurt that I've already lost five pounds since Thanksgiving, either. So, yes, physically I'm feeling very excited and hopeful about reaching my longstanding fitness goals, which basically boil down to getting totally fit for the first time in my life. I can do that, right? RIGHT?

Emotionally: I feel decent. I've felt frustration about a few things in recent days, but I had a good session with my therapist this morning (wait, therapists see therapists, you ask? Yes, if they're good therapists they's actually recommended in grad school...) and so I'm feeling more in control of my thinking. I have been loving family time lately, and played with the girls for a good hour tonight which felt really nice. And Lolly and I have felt really connected, and we have been writing together at night and then watching TV, which has been really fun.

Spiritually: I've struggled spiritually the last few days. I'm not sure what the problem is. My spiritual thoughts have felt tinny and flat, and my connection feels dim. At the same time, I've had a couple of really important spiritual insights about some things that were perplexing me, so that was helpful. I'm still chewing on them... they were big ones. I'll probably end up writing about them eventually, but right now I'm letting them rattle around in my mind and be assimilated into my thinking. 

Goal last time: write an hour a day. Achieved? I think? On average. I know I wrote daily, so that feels good enough.

Goal this time: 5,000 words by next Wednesday in the memoir. 

All right guys. Let me have it. I love seeing your check-ins and hearing about your lives. Thanks for sharing yours with me, and thanks for being a part of mine. Each one of you is awesome. All right, com'eer! *Cheesy group hug*

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Lice and RSV. You know, the usual...

This is a post I wrote a couple of weeks ago. When we had lice and RSV. Not sure why I didn't post it. Probably because life was CRAZY at that point.

So, since getting home from LA last week we've had some fun times.

Exhibit A: Lice.

Have you ever had lice in your house? It's hell, let me tell you.

Also, a bit of trivia: guess which Ricki Lake show guests brought three girls to the dressing rooms with a lice infestation? The answer is (drumroll please):

These people! 
(And by these people I mean Lolly and me. Not Lolly's mom or sister, also in the shot.)

We didn't know we were hit till we got home. And then we did treatments on the girls (where when I say "we" I mean "Lolly") and then we bagged everything cushioned into big plastic bags (where when I say "we" I mean "mostly Lolly") and then we spent hours every day combing through the girls' hair and nitpicking (never thought I'd "get" to use that term in its correct context) and then vacuuming everything in the world repeatedly. So, it's been rough, but I think we're in the clear. Thank heavens.

Exhibit B: RSV. Last night I was out doing something with my friend Konrad when I got a phone-call from a number I didn't recognize. I let it go through to voicemail. And then felt like I should listen to it, immediately. So then I did, and it was Lolly saying that she was in Urgent Care because Anna was having breathing problems, and when Lolly took her in, they almost sent her to the ER, but then they decided to give her some breathing treatments there at the clinic instead. Lolly also said her phone was almost dead. And she gave no instructions as to what I was supposed to do.

Now, I don't know if you've met me, but if you have, you know that I kind of crumble into a ball of inaction when 1. there is a crisis of any kind 2. I have to make a really quick decision regarding logistics or 3. one of my children is in danger. So basically, I was screwed.

The following conversation is an example of why I shouldn't be trusted with anything serious, as well as why men shouldn't be allowed to make decisions. Ever.

Me: ...sits in silence after the phone message.

Konrad: So, what did she say?

Me: *looks up, stunned that someone had addressed him* Oh, it was Lolly and, uh, something's wrong with Anna. Lolly has her in urgent care.

Konrad: Should we go over there?

Me: Uh, I don't know. She didn't say what to do. And also, her phone died so I can't call her. And also, I just accidentally deleted the message she sent.

Konrad:  Maybe we should just wait for her to call again, then. Could be that if I drop you off down there, they could be on their way back and you guys just miss each other.

Me: Exactly.

Konrad: I hope Anna's okay.

Me: Me too.

Konrad: What were her symptoms? 

Me: Uh... something about breathing. I'm not sure, my brain turned off while I was listening to the message. And also I deleted it. Because I'm an awesome parent.

At this point I get a call from Lolly telling me that she's probably gonna be there for a while and asking me to come.

Me: All right. That was her. She wants me to come. Can you drop me off over there?

Konrad: Absolutely.

We buzz over there feeling like heroes. And then I head in and after talking to the nurses for a few minutes and getting caught up on what was happening Lolly was like "Hey honey. Can you take the other two girls home?"

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...... guess who didn't have the other car?

Luckily our good friend Colleen Gomes came and picked us up. Because she's awesome like that.

Anyway, the joke here is that neither Konrad or I had any sense that I should have taken my own car out there--in fact, to the contrary we were both kind of thinking it was a lucky break that he could drop me off so that the whole family could all come home together--but the second he told this story to his wife, Ashlee, she was like "Whoa whoa whoa, wait a minute. You mean he didn't take his own car? Lolly's probably been there for hours. She needs him to take the girls home..."

Men are geniuses. Or genii if you want to get really fancy about pluralization.

Anyway, it turned out that Anna has RSV. So, she got breathing treatments and has an inhaler and some really nasty tasting medicine, and she's doing much, much better.

This is current me again. Hi! Not too much happening at Weed central right now. But having re-read this post I can officially say I'm glad we don't have diseases or parasites or bugs living on us or anything at the moment. And yes, I did just knock on a wooden picture frame.

A couple of interesting tidbits:

Did I ever tell you we were asked to be on Wife Swap? We ended up not feeling good about that, but it would probably have been really funny. And awkward. And would have ruined our children's lives.

We were just asked to be on another show.  So, back to the drawing board trying to feel out whether or not we should do it. It's interesting to see what we end up feeling good about and what we end up not feeling good about. I'll keep you updated.

All right. That's about it. Get ready for a check-in tomorrow! If you haven't done your goal, you have one more night...

Sunday, November 25, 2012

A wonderful weekend with my girls

We had a really good weekend with the girls. Here is a picture I took tonight:

Sorry it's slightly blurry. Have I mentioned I suck at photography?

This is them right before bed. They were all very excited by...

Thursday, November 22, 2012

32 things I'm thankful for, one for every year, in no particular order

1. I'm thankful for Lolly Shea.

2. I'm thankful for my three girls, Anna Viva and Tessa

3. I'm thankful for good, good parents.

4. I'm thankful for food. Especially good food. Like stuffing.

5. I'm thankful for technology. Especially good technology. Like apps called "myfitnesspal" to help me recover from eating enough food to fertilize an entire farm. After I digest it.

6. I'm thankful for my body.

7. I'm thankful for my brain.

8. I'm thankful for cars.

9. I'm thankful for buildings, especially the house I live in.

10. I'm thankful for my clothes.

11. Plumbing.

12. Sunshine

13. Modern medicine.

14. I'm thankful for music--listening to it and participating in it.

15. Running

16. My friends

17. The fact that nobody will judge me for putting periods at the end of some of these and not at the end of others

18. God, and the profound relationship I have with Him, and the fact that he guides my life so obviously and with such love.

19. Jesus the Christ.

20. Modern revelation. And personal revelation. And the Holy Ghost. And scripture.

21. Being a therapist

22. Writing

23. Siblings. And in-laws. And other extended family who are awesome.

24. My ward. I really love my ward.

25. Facebook. I can honestly say that Facebook has changed my life.

26. My iPhone. Gosh I love my phone. So, so much.

27. People in my life who love me for who I am and accept me without reservation.

28. My journals.

29. Ice cream.

30. Prayer.

31 This blog.

32. If you are reading this, I'm thankful for you. Really truly. You. Thank you so much for reading.

Though it's a day late, I'd love to hear something(s) you are thankful for.

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Engrish Spam!!! + Check-in + Happy Thanksgiving!

So, I'm not sure why this started, but recently I've begun to get spammed trillions of times daily. The spam messages are... ridiculous.

They're like this:

I spend every waking moment in the morning reading this webpages fastidious tips meanwhile drinking my morning coffee. Thank you for your information in your webpage! Top notch! Also, see my webpage: delicious desserts.

It's like they are written in very, very poor Pakistani and then placed into a translator, and then copied and pasted verbatim into my comment box. And then the link is always to something really unrelated and innocuous sounding like air conditioning tips.


Here are some actual samples:

Monday, November 19, 2012

Home again, home again.

Got back yesterday from our trip down to Utah. And yes, we successfully procured Lolly's Dunford donuts and Schmidts bakery cake. And she even let me eat a Dunford. Because she's filled with charity, and also because I saved the cakes from being destroyed on the plane when someone tried to put their luggage ON THEM. Basically I'm a superhero, is what I'm saying. A superhero for cakes.

Anyway, the reason we went to Utah was to be on a panel for AMCAP. AMCAP stands for the Association of Mormon Counselors and Psychotherapist and they had an event last Saturday. I was surprised to see various people on my last post get all concerned about me participating in this event which was specifically about homosexuality, Mormons and counselors. Um, just what panels do you think I should be sharing my voice, story and perceptions in as a Mormon counselor who is homosexual?

I'm starting to accept the fact that...

Friday, November 16, 2012

We're in Salt Lake. For cake and donuts. Oh yeah, and for a conference.

Important: The following post links to two companies. These are not paid advertisements. We promise. We just love these companies and this conversation actually happened.

So, yesterday I found myself, yet again, in the airport about to go to Salt Lake. The following conversation ensued as we waited to board the plane:

Lolly: I'm so excited!!! (claps hands)

Me: The thing that's funny about that is that most people would think you're excited about your trip. But really, you're just excited about cake.

Lolly: Schmidt's Bakery Cottage makes heaven in the form of buttercream frosting. There is nothing else like it. Anywhere. Especially Seattle.

Me: Yes. I get it. And that's why you have two large empty Tupperwares taking up space in our suitcase.

Lolly: Um, are you serious? Do you seriously not know how this works?

Me: What do you mean...?

Lolly: Hon, those Tupperwares are not for the cake. They are for my Dunford Donuts. The empty bag in our suitcase is for my carry-on of cake. s. Cakes. Plural. The donuts will be safely individually wrapped in baggies inside the Tupperwares. Obviously.

Me: Wait, we're getting donuts as well?

Lolly: We aren't getting donuts. I'm getting donuts. And cakes. For me. I'm not sure what you might be getting.

Me: I'm getting worried about space in our luggage for the return trip...

Lolly: It's understandable, I suppose. But don't worry. I'll make it work. (Leans over and gives me a kiss)(Looks at me with concern) Did my breath smell bad? Was it the onions in my sandwich?

Me: No, you're fine.

Lolly: It's just that you looked a little repulsed...

Me (whispering): You do realize we are currently in line to board a plane to Salt Lake City, Utah, where we will be speaking about our true love and intimate relationship even though I'm gay. Maybe "repulsed" is a poor word choice?

Lolly: Perhaps. But you did look repulsed.

Me: I'm not repulsed! I'm distracted. By all the Tupperware and bags. (Leans over and gives Lolly a kiss).

Lolly: That's more like it. That may have just earned you a Dunford Donut.

Me (whispering affectionately into Lolly's ear): I plan to steal several...

Lolly: Dunford Donut rescinded! Help! Robbery!

Me: You don't even have the donuts yet.

Lolly: And apparently you never will.


So here's the flyer for the thingamabob tomorrow. Please come! There's going to be seating for a LOT of people, and also, I'd love to meet you. Seriously, you. I want to meet you.

Friday, November 9, 2012

Lessons in Unconditional Love

Here is the address I gave at Circling the Wagons. For more on the story behind the conference and how I ended up speaking there, see yesterday's post.

Lessons in Unconditional Love

Hi there.

I’d like to thank Circling the Wagons for allowing me the opportunity to speak to you all today.

I’ve never been more scared to give an address in my entire life...

Thursday, November 8, 2012

Circling the Wagons: ADD and fear almost won. But didn't.

I wrote this on Tuesday.

Last weekend was kind of a big deal for me, for a couple of really important reasons.

Honestly, I'm still recovering, even though I think things went about as well as I could have possibly hoped. Brene Brown talks about the concept of a vulnerability hangover. I experienced my first real vulnerability hangover on June 8th of this year as I talked to Important People in New York and LA who, the day before, had no idea I existed, and as I watched a picture of my family and the news that I am gay splash itself on news outlets all over the world when all I'd done was publish a post on this blog.

There was a moment the day after it all exploded (June 9th) when...

Friday, November 2, 2012

Hi there, Ricki Laker

Oh hi.

If you're here today, it means you probably saw the segment about me and my wife on Ricki Lake or heard about it online somewhere. So, welcome to the blog that started it all!

Let me show you around.

First off, you might be wondering about the coming out post that began this whole process.

I posted it in June, and then it went viral. It's the thing that will answer most of your questions (if you have any) and you can find it by clicking here.

If you don't want to wade through the thousands of comments on that post, but want to leave a thought for us about it, feel free to do so on this post. 

Before that post, The Weed was primarily (and it still often is) a humor blog. Here are a few of the most popular past posts if you're in the mood for a chuckle:

Bambi Nuggets
Previously the most popular post on my blog, in this post my daughter and I discuss the tragedy of Bambi's mom, and the resultant conversation turns my blood cold...

The Time I Almost Played Trivial Pursuit with Ken Jennings
Spoiler: I'm really bad at trivia...

Morning Run
Yeah. THAT happened on my morning run...

Celebrity Crush
How can I can compete with this guy? Answer: I CAN'T.

And before THAT I spent six months analyzing and coming to terms with the fact that I have ADD. (I eventually started Ritalin. Things feel better. Sometimes.)

All right. Hopefully that gives you a taste of what you can expect 'round these parts. It's pretty much a regular riot, with a lot of talking about homosexuality, and a lot of hilarity surrounding my kids and stuff.

Here's a picture:

I'm not kidding, I chose this picture at random and it was me and Lolly in a pumpkin patch three years ago. AND WE JUST HAD HALLOWEEN. Yeah, that's how good I am at being thematically on topic. And/or how behind we are at updating our photo albums. You know, one of those two things.

So, yeah, welcome aboard! Or at very least a hearty thank you for dropping in and taking a gander.

(Oh, and if you want more regular updates, I just started a Facebook Page so I'll post a bunch of crap there and it will be awesome.)