Thursday, March 21, 2013

Is it a choice? (FFAQ VII) + pics of the girls UPDATED

All right, I've totally been called out. I promised this post last Friday, and it's been days. Then reader Emily posted this last night as a comment on my last post in which I talk about pressing "refresh" a lot:

JOSH. I totally feel like YOU right nooow. I keep hitting *refresh* on your website, in the hopes that sometime, maybe soon! you'll post something new. Who knows? It could be soon. It COULD be there at the very next... *refresh*
Because let's be honest - I check your blog like, twice a day. 
UPDATES, please C:
kthanksbye.


1. That was funny. And 2. I have been remiss. I will do better, Weeders. I promise.

 (Which reminds me: Weeders? Does that work? I need a word for you awesome people. And "Weeders" makes me smile. Cuz it sounds like "readers." That's why it's funny. Do you understand now?)

Okay, on to.... FFAQ response!


Here's the deal. Somebody needs to do a case study. For the second week in a row, Nicole has gotten the most "dittoes" on a FFAQ question. Here's what she asks:

how do you address the debate of being born gay or it being a choice? i know with being LDS, we tend to have a different view of body vs spirit and agency and all that. do you feel that your spirit is attracted to the same sex or is it a body thing? I would love to hear your take on this issue. :)

Great question, Nicole! And great job on having yet another question chosen!

Let's start out with what the church thinks on this issue:

*crickets chirp*

Did you hear those crickets chirping? That's because the church has no official opinion about the origins of homosexuality. While there are various theories, nobody really knows.

As far as my own thoughts, there is a lot I don't know either. Let me tell you what I do know.

I know that for sure being gay was not a choice for me.

Other things:

1. I know that I had my first fantasies about men at the age of 5. 

2. I know that my parents noticed effeminate behavior in me (wearing dresses and wigs, pretending to be a girl during play) as early as age 2. 

3. I know that when puberty hit, I was attracted to males instead of females. Automatically. I wasn't abused, nor introduced to this in any way. It came as naturally as comes any person's sexual attractions.

4. I am attracted to men (and not to women) on all sensual levels. Sight, sound (of voice), smell, etc. That means that this is something very deeply entrenched--it's not something that can be learned.

So, yeah. I didn't choose this. I just... would never have chosen this for myself. My life is filled with choices--I choose to love my wife every day, I chose to become a therapist, I chose to eat Haagen Dasz ice cream last weekend--but being sexually attracted to men? Was not a choice. On any level.

As far as spirit/body stuff, I will admit freely that I don't have the answers.

I do have some suspicions, which I'll share, but I reserve the right to change my mind about these things if more information and/or revelation comes to light.

I get the sense, based on some of the stuff I just mentioned, that my homosexuality is very much a body thing and not a spirit thing. I do have some questions around where my personality begins and where my same sex attraction ends as I outlined in this post about resurrection. But yeah, I am of the opinion that my homosexuality is a mortal condition, not something that will be indefinitely a part of my existence. I realize other gay people feel differently on this, and I totally respect their reasons why. Those reasons simply don't resonate with me. 

Anyway, I hope that answered your question. I'm sorry that the answer basically boils down to "I don't know the answer to this question..." but thanks for giving me the chance to get some of my ideas out there.

In closing, here are some profesh pics of the girls (well, except for one. You'll see what I mean...):


Tessa is freaking huge now.

Really this is my baby? 

So fancy, with the yellow flower and all! 

 I'm buying a shotgun. 

You'll note that there is no professional picture of Viva. No, we don't love her any less. But...


Yeah. This is why Viva didn't get a professional photo. Poor thing has had this rash for MONTHS. Any thoughts of what this could be? We've taken her to the doctor three times already and have tried all manner of ointments and creams and antibiotics. HELP!

We promise we'll get a photo of our little fashionista taken once the rash clears up. 

All right Weeders (yes? how do we feel about this? I might do a poll on the Facebook page). Have a good one. 

UPDATE:

Reader Mary MacVoy from London, Ontario took our little Viva and spruced her up a bit:



Magical! Thanks Mary!

86 comments:

  1. Regarding the rash - have you checked into food allergies? They can definitely cause rashes and the rashes don't respond to topical treatments.

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    1. That's the first thing I thought too. Dairy and gluten come to mind.

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    2. Yup, that's what I came here to say.

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    3. My daughters get rashes like this when they consume dairy. Not so much cheese. But milk or cream for sure.

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    4. Lactose. It's in the dairy famiy but is MUCH harder to deal with than a "simple" dairy allergy because it is used as a filler in *EVERYTHING.* Our son had a rash on his face that looked just like that when he was an infant. Thankfully, he has outgrown this. My husband is totally and completely lactose intolerant--not the "oh my tummy hurts and I get gassy when I eat a dish of ice cream" affliction that most people think of as LI but rather "I eat one single M&M and I am living in the bathroom for the next three days minimum thinking that death would be a welcome escape." It was fairly easy to diagnose in our son given my husband's extreme version of the condition.

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    5. Both my kids had this rash, often in the dry winter months and tomato sauce always made it worse!

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    6. yep, food allergy would be my guess, too. the only way to determine for sure is to do an elimination diet. you can eliminate foods one at a time, but it is hard to really determine for sure what the culpruit is. Here are directions to the sure-fire way of determining food allergies: http://fromscratchtoplate.com/2012/04/09/our-journey-via-an-elimination-diet/

      good luck!

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    7. Yep, my guess is food allergy as well. The only sure-fire way to determine the culprit is to do a multiple-food elimination diet. Here are instructions if you need them: http://fromscratchtoplate.com/2012/04/09/our-journey-via-an-elimination-diet/

      Good Luck!

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    8. In had a rash like that when I was little. For me it was peanut butter and chocolate. I still can't eat chocolate with out getting a rash :(. Also my husband knew you on his mission. Small world!

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  2. Thank you for your post! Viva is likely suffering from food allergies due to the fact that it is happening on her face and it isn't going away. If it were something in her environment she would likely have it on her arms, legs or 'trunk.'

    It could be almost any food causing it, you could try an elimination diet to help you figure it out. I loved the book 'The Feingold Diet' which I think is out of print now but can be purchased used online. It says its for hyperactive kids but the recipes in the back are yummy and the tools to find your allergy(s) is sound.

    My family (all 5 of us - what??! you say? Yep its true) have Celiac disease (no gluten) and a couple have additional soy allergies. We have been dealing with this for 10 years and have learned a lot. If you want to ask questions just email me off blog. We started with the Feingold Diet book and learned to remove red dye for my son - did you know it is made from crushed up beetles?

    Nan

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  3. Poor Viva with the rash! First, if you haven't tried it, virgin coconut oil (preferably organic) is wonderfully healing for the skin and all natural... it might help? You can find it at health food stores and in some bigger supermarkets.

    As for a reason for the rash - maybe she has food allergies? My nephew had a similar looking rash and it was caused by food allergies. Try an elimination diet (remove dairy, eggs, nuts, wheat & soy - and then slowly reintroduce them, one at a time, to see if one or more might be the culprit?). I hope this helps!

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    1. I've seen it in the food section of the supermarkets as you can also cook with it. Hope that helps.

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    2. ...and I second using coconut oil to treat it...

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  4. Could be a food allergy. Possibly dairy, eggs or peanuts? Sometimes the allergy can be "light" enough that the only area affected is around the mouth and nowhere else ... just a guess, but I'd go with that. I had a similar rash when I was but a wee one in regard to tomatoes (it would helped if I could got them more IN my mouth that ON my face while I ate 'em!)! Just a thought ...

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  5. You da bomb, Jo-Weed.

    My daughter had that rash. Olive oil really helped! It was dry skin. They drool when they sleep. Makes it worse.

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  6. Thanks, Josh. Some years ago I read in The Ensign a man describing his wife as emotionally handicaped. Exactly what he meant I do not remember, but I do beleive that many of us (maybe all?) has some sort of issue that is connected with this mortal existance, that will not be a part of us in the eternities.

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    1. Wow. Oddly (sorry I say 'oddly' because at the time I didn't know it), I really needed to hear that. Thank you :)

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  7. I don't know what's wrong with your daughter's face, but I'm a believer in hydration. It sounds odd...but try coconut oil. It's solid at room temp but melts at body temperature. It's the most naturally hydrating substance on earth. I've used it for different things on my kids from infant head-to-toe zit break out to a diaper rash that no other cream/ointment affected. I even use it to help my frizzy hair a few times a week. If it makes her face worse...you don't know me.

    Always love the FFAQ, even when it's Thursday. :)

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  8. I second coconut oil. The stuff works miracles.

    I don't know where I'm supposed to pose FFAQ, but here's one: I have a friend who is a counselor (like you) and she says that while she believes MEN are born gay, she has NEVER come across a born lesbian. She says they have all been seduced or abused. I have known 3 lesbians and they were all seduced by another lesbian-- one even went back to men and is now happily married to a man. Since you are not a woman, I know you don't have personal experience with this, but in your journeyings, have you ever come across a born lesbian?

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    1. interesting kristin! great question!

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    2. Uh, yes. I know 2. Plus, dude, Ellen freakin DeGeneres. She da bomb.

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    3. Oh, I love this science! There's so much interesting stuff to learn. Here's what I have learned and believe.

      Studies suggest that women generally have a more plastic sexual orientation (the study I'm thinking of that concludes this had a cool setup: they measured arousal of straight and gay men and women when they viewed porn, both of men and of women. Straight men pretty much responded to the women, gay men pretty much responded to the men. Interestingly, straight women responded to men AND women (though in smaller percentages for women than for men) and gay women also responded to both, but more for women.) Even though this only measures sexual arousal, it's still a start to understanding orientation.

      Statistically speaking, women are more likely to have the capacity for attraction to either gender. Many (most? I don't know on this) lesbians never even think about men and they are always, like Josh, homosexual.

      But some women who haven't always felt like that CAN embrace that option, given the proper opportunity, because of their plastic orientation. And most people do not choose to be different because it's hard and can be socially unpleasant. So they need a good reason to act on those inklings, like a girlfriend falling in love with them.

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    4. Kristin, I would like a shot at answeing this with my personal experience, keeping in mind, its one persons experiance. I am a woman. Im 31, single, never married. I am an active mormon that keeps church standards and have never been in a physical/romantic/dating type relationship with a woman. I have dated men within lds standards. I have never been abused by anyone. I have also never been seduced by anyone. I have experienced feelings of same gender attraction, like josh, since a young age. I am primarily attracted to women, and that hasnt changed much in my life time. Occasionally , I do find find men I am attracted to physically, but its always less intensly than women. I consider myself bisexual, not a lesbian, so I may not answer this perfectly, because I am not exclusively homosexual in my physical attractions, but pridominantly that is the case. Like josh, I chose to not act.on those feelings, but i also dont feel like they were a choice, i wouldnt choose them, and for me they were not the result of abuse or media, or seduction, or anything else along those lines, they've always just kind of been there.

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    5. Your counselor doesn't get out much. I was born a lesbian, attracted to girls at a very young age, never been abused and would have loved to have been seduced!! ;-)

      I don't care how well a woman is seduced by another woman, if she is straight she it ain't going to happen. If she is open minded, it might. Every lesbian I've known (and I know a lot) has been that way for as long as they can remember. It's not uncommon for women in general to have suffered some sort of abuse, but I do not think that "turns them gay". Could you be turned gay if you were abused?

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    6. Keep in mind that she is encountering them WHILE COUNSELING. People get counseling because they feel there is a problem with their life or are dealing with unresolved issues. Chances are a well adjusted non "seduced" or abused Lesbian is not going to seek counseling. What I am trying to say is I don't think those life events "made" them a Lesbian. They are Lesbian's who had those life events.

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    7. Keep in mind that she is encountering them WHILE COUNSELING. People get counseling because they feel there is a problem with their life or are dealing with unresolved issues. Chances are a well adjusted non "seduced" or abused Lesbian is not going to seek counseling. What I am trying to say is I don't think those life events "made" them a Lesbian. They are Lesbian's who had those life events.

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    8. I'll also chime in here. I'm another gay woman who has never been abused. I came this way, and wouldn't change who I am for anything. -B

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    9. Props for responding to that in a cordial manner, Tammy. I think I felt a few brain cells die after reading that.

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    10. Glad to know I wasn't the only one BQ :P

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  9. Awesome post, as always. I'm sure you've been told it could be eczema- we've struggled with my husband and my nephew with being diagnosed with eczema and NOTHING helping. If it is eczema, try renew lotion- it's made by melaluca but you can find it on amazon. I'm not a big brand pusher, but this is the only thing that worked for my nephews eczema, which looked exactly like your picture. Hope that helps!

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    1. I second "Renew" if it's eczema (although I'm leaning towards food allergy). I'm not at all into melaluca, in fact the MLM thing fully creeps me out, but Renew was the only non-prescription cream that helped my sons' severe eczema. We tried ev.er.y.thing. Renew and prescription steroid creams were the only thing that worked.

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  10. AuntSue
    Your post makes so much sense, especially with so many chemicals affecting the hormons in our bodies.
    Vitamen E (poke a capsule with something sharp) is also great for skin rashes like that. Coconut oil is also wonderful.
    I would be proud to be proclamined one of your 'weeders'!
    Thanks for sharing your thoughts and your family with all of us.

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  11. Thanks so much for your answer! You did a great job! Have you tried any essential oils on her rash? I would be happy to send you some. It does look like an allergic reaction of some time or possibly a fungal based rash. Shoot me a message at nrvtexas at gmail dot com and i will hook you up.

    Now to think of another question to be a four-peater. ;)

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  12. I really like your answer. I like the way you can admit that you don't know but I love that you voice your opinions. I had a rash like that that lasted forever when I was younger it was horrible! Though mine was some sort of staph infection (at least that's what I think I remember the doctor saying, again I was young) but we just kept putting bactroban ointment on it and it really helped a lot. I empathize with poor Viva it's never fun having a rash on your face :( I really hope she gets better and ya'll find something that works.

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  13. Food allergies or "overload" (cure: cut out processed food, sugar, limit dairy and super up the fruits and veggies...green smoothies with a bendy straw, my friend).

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  14. Poor Tessa! Also, I would've hated it if one of my parents posted that pic of me on their public blog *cough* hint *cough*.
    I liked the honesty with which you answered this question.

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  15. Had to come down and comment before totally reading your post... I love WEEDERS~!

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  16. When I was little I had a rash like that. It was because I was dehydrated and licked my lips too much. My parents had me carry around a water bottle and Carmex or other medicated lip balm to help heal and hydrate my skin. I eventually grew out of it but not until I had a scar at the indent between my lips and chin from where the skin started to separate. I don't know if this is what's going on, but it's an idea at least. It took a year or so for me to really get it under control. Good luck!

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  17. This is my first time posting! Exciting!!! My daughter had a smiliar rash for 6 months. I took her to several different dermatologists, and they kept on treating her with topical ointments or suggesting refraining from diary products. So we did both, nothing worked until I took her to primary children's hospital in SLC. They immediately diagnosed her with Perioral Dermatitis and put her on a two month treatment of erythromycin. After two weeks she cleared right up, and has been fine ever since. Good luck!!!

    P.S. Josh, the sharing of your love story with Lolly, saved my marriage. Thank you!

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  18. Jeez, Weed. Where have you been and why are your girls so dang cute?
    As always, I appreciate your candor. The world needs more of that.

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  19. I thought that the church did have a position on that, but I might just be confused. On mormonsandgays.org, one of the very first things you see is:

    "Where the Church stands:...Even though individuals do not choose to have such attractions, they do choose how to respond to them. With love and understanding, the Church reaches out to all God’s children, including our gay and lesbian brothers and sisters."

    I love reading your blog. I think you are doing great things!

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    1. I was just about to post this. :)

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    2. I think Josh was referring to the Church's stand on the origins of orientation. There is none. Was it based how we were raised? Genetics? Chemical interactions in the blood? Does it matter? I certainly don't think my orientation was due to some choice. On the other hand there are choices we can and do make. It's these choices where the Church does take a stand.

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  20. does the rash look burned? if so than i would say yeast. they are the worst and take forever to clear up. have to do the cream religiously several times a day. my favorite is a mix of cortisone cream, triple antibiotic and yeast cream all mixed together and applied. if severely dry looking i would say eczema and then cortisone, vaseline, or other oil or hydrating cream of choice like the coconut oil mentioned above. if it looks raised or bumpy i would think allergy. i have no idea what impetigo looks like. if you haven't taken her to dermatologist i would recommend that if none of the above works. but skin stuff seems like a crap shoot to doctors. they have no idea either and just throw stuff at it.

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  21. great response - and I like "weeders" I'm a weeder, you're a weeder, wouldn't you like to be a weeder too... be a weeder...

    anyway - on the rash - I would for sure say try an elimination diet. I had rashes on my arms and itchiness for years - turns out I can't tolerate gluten at all... and skin lesions are very common if you have gluten intolerance, or like me, celiac disease. Good luck, poor baby girl!

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  22. This is my first time posting! Exciting!!! My daughter had a similar rash for 5 months. After taking her to several doctors and dermatologists, and treating her with lots of different topical creams and ointments, and refraining from diary products ... and having nothing work. We finally took her to Primary Children's in SLC, and they diagnosed her with Perioral Dermatitis, and put her on erythromycin for 2 months. After two weeks of medicine, her rash cleared completely up and hasn't been a problem since. I don't know if that is what your cute little girl has, but I thought I would throw that out there. Good luck!!!

    P.S. Josh, the sharing of your love story with Lolly literally saved my marriage. Thank you!

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    1. I wonder if Josh realizes how many straight marriages his posts have saved, helped and strengthened? It has helped mine tremendously, too!

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  23. Thoughts I had about this post:
    1. FFAQ ANSWER... oy, I missed the question voting somehow. Pre-Passover cleaning time in Israel...
    2. WEEDERS - love it!
    3. Funny how your experience of your tradition is so similar to mine when it comes to homosexuality. There is very, VERY little actually either written or in bona fide handed down traditions - so there is a vacuum. Not something addressed very much through the ages. But we come from such different traditions! I thought that was neat.
    4. My thoughts about body and spirit are very personal - collected piece by piece from various sources over time, and when my dad died at the end of December I was naturally, before and after, thinking about this subject a lot and much more "on alert" for various clues from anywhere - meditation traditions, Jewish tradition, stories, random thoughts - you name it. My feeling, and it is just that, is that very little of what we consider to be "us" is really spirit - our thoughts, those are connected to a lot of physical things, our memories, our emotions even, because it is all happening in this body as we live. But there is something beyond and it is recognizable and beloved and in so many ways, SO connected with "this" world. I would think that sexual attraction is not an attribute of the spirit in any of us, but that love is.
    5. Your blog has helped me with my marriage too.
    Smile - being a weeder is kind of fun!

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  24. Well done. Each time I visit I am inspired by your determination to be happy and help others. So, two opinions, yes on weeders (brilliant) and yes on the gluten allergy, dermatitis herpetaformis, see if she is allergic to iodine, that's an easy test. There you go, worthless, but heartfelt!

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  25. "Weeders" is absolutely fantastic! :D Love It!

    Ursula

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  26. My poor sister-in-law had something similar for MONTHS. No one could help. Ointments made it worse. Turns out it was ring worm. They put her on medication for it and it cleared it right up.

    Not sure that this is the same thing, but might be worth looking in to.

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  27. I'm no dr but my younger sister and something similar. She had hives and they were over her face like that. She drank a lot of water and took Benadryl for it and it cleared up. My guess is hives but who knows

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  28. Love your thoughts in this post and your continued candor in sharing your thoughts and feelings with the rest of us.

    My initial thought about the rash was eczema. My daughter has it and I can usually get it cleared up within a couple of days with Bag Balm. It's sticky and has kind of a bad smell, but if I do it twice a day, it clears right up. Hope the doctors can figure it out!

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  29. First, I love that more of the comments were about your daughter than the actual question you answered :)
    I would like to think that we won't have "sexual preference" in paradise. I think we will love each other in a non-sexual way, equally, and unconditionally. I know we will be "married" to our eternal mate, and there is that aspiration of having spirit children, but I think it will be very much the way your marriage is now. We will ALL be connected in a deeper way than sexual attraction. I have never, and can't imagine ever being attracted to another female (because I have had bad relationships with nearly every woman/female in my life), but I would rather have a marriage like yours than to wonder if gaining a few pounds or less desire for sex with my partner might change his desire to be with me. I would rather know that "he" is with me for the long haul because he wants to be with me, not because I have (an outlet) that fits his (plug).

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  30. I know this is totally random, but could there be a cooler name than Lolly? I don't think so.
    P.S. Good post, as always.

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  31. Love Weeders, got it the first time.
    I'm not LDS, and so my beliefs vary there, but I'll offer my opinion with no intention to be argumentative or offensive:
    I beleive God has no sex (is not male or female) and nor do our Spirits. I believe our Spirits are formless, inhabiting form (bodies), and vary only on the level of form (different color skin, hair, eyes, different personalities and different sexual orientation). That's my 2 cents on the subject:-)
    Wish I had some advice as to the rash, poor girl!
    Love your blog, Mr Weed.

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  32. Poor Baby Viva! Enlist the help of an allergist. The elimination diet will work, faster with pro help.

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  33. One day, your daughter will want to kill you for posting that photo on the internet, maybe for having taken it in the first place. haha

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  34. try coconut oil! my husband has had chronic eczema for years and it seems to be the only thing to work, try using soaps without fragrances,and monitoring what she eats to see what she is having a reaction to, where dairy allergies are high on the list my son breaks out in rashes from tomatoes so don't limit yourself to just dairy products ***Laura***

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  35. Weeders is cool. Also, I thought you did a great job answering this FFAQ (as usual). Your girls are super cute.

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  36. I say get her tested for allergies! My friends daughter gets ecsema (sp?) because she is allergic to soy and peanuts...but it took them along time to find this out!! And I love Weeders...it's how my three yr old would say "readers" : )

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  37. I would say that is most likely a dairy rash. I could be wrong but I believe thats the same one my sister had when she was young. Arms, legs and a few other areas are also popular for dairy rash. A good alternative, especially now that she is older, may be Goats milk. Both my siblings were on that for a few years since they could not digest soy or cows milk. My brother also started getting up in the middle of the night and just jumped in his crib. I guess a common side effect of allergies as well. Hope she feels better soon!

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  38. I love you guys! :) The girls are getting so big! Viva's rash looks like perioral dermatitis to me. Etiology can be candida or bacterial. Sometimes systemic treatment is required (pills rather than topical creams etc.). Topical steroids have been implicated in perioral dermatitis, as has toothpaste that contains sodium lauryl sulfate (there is toothpaste that does not contain sodium lauryl sulfate just read labels). It could be a food allergy, but I would expect more than perioral involvement for a food allergy. Here is more info on perioral dermatitis from Medscape: http://emedicine.medscape.com/article/1071128-overview#a0104

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  39. You guys make such cute kids. I can't believe how old they look. Tessa is so adorable. Love those curls!

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  40. I've gotten a rash ( not as severe as hers and most likely different) on my face from wearing fingernail polish... Worth mention just in case that's the culprit

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  41. I'm not LDS so I can't comment on the church's stand, but I am a Christian and have studied the Bible...went to a Christian college where my minor was in Bible...but this topic was never brought up. I've heard from preachers through the years that it was a choice, but I'm not so sure now either. I've read a lot about generational curses and my husband and I both feel strongly that we have had to combat a lot of that and have chosen to live our life as close to God as we can and teach our children in a manner to reverse that curse and have our children be blessed by God. So I've wondered before...do you think homosexuality could be a generational curse? The Bible talks about how your generations can be cursed or blessed as a result of our lives now. Just as my husband's family deals with anger and tempers, he has chosen to fight this urge and be a peacemaker to his family. Do you think it is just another sin that some people (and Christians even) may have to fight against through life? I don't discuss it with many because it can be a hot topic, but curious on other thoughts!

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    1. It's interesting that you refer to it as a "generational curse". I suppose these certainly do exist,in at least one very dramatic way in the bible, of which I don't care to say because it involves individuals who are good people while their ancestors may not have been... It is something as LDS that generally hasn't been taught in our lifetimes, however, I do see how one generation can affect another. For example, my family being very vigilant on family prayer on a daily basis really lead me to be very good at my personal prayer all my life. However, when I was growing up, my parents really struggled to have daily scripture study, and it really was more off and on than consistent, and this has been how my personal scripture study habits have been in my life.

      However, I am a stickler with my family scripture study in addition to family prayer because I wish for my children to be given a better foundation than I so that they can have all the help that they can get with regards to daily spiritual experiences.

      This being said, I guess one can look at these things as a curse or a blessing handed from one generation to another, but there is one other thing that I truly believe is important is what Jesus said that God could make descendants of Israel out of rocks, because what He was basically saying, was that as we receive Him, we are adopted into the House of Israel, and are automatically given the generational blessings that are available to the descendants of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob because of their righteousness.

      And while we are affected by those who preceded us in a positive or negative way, there is nothing that the Savior can't undo if it needs to be undone. The Savior will always make up the difference as we seek Him.

      You will see that I have not commented on ssa in any way on this topic, because I don't know anything about it, but I thought I might give you a backdrop about how this LDS person looks at how one generation affects another. I should point out one last thing, that we believe that we are children of God, and thus, have a very noble heritage, and a Father who loves us and will provide for us despite any circumstances we may be in in this mortal life, because we were His first and always.

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    2. A "generational curse" could be another way of implicating genetics combined with learned behavior through family modeling. For example, tendency toward addiction is genetic, so one may believe that alcoholism is a generational curse, but it is really a combination of genetic predisposition toward addiction combined with a culture of alcohol drinking and modeling from family members.

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  42. Also, my niece had a similar rash. It's severity varied according to the brand of formula she was being fed.

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  43. This may sound strange, but my son gets a similar rash around his mouth when he is dehydrated. The rash comes from his repeatedly licking his own face. We treat it with water and reminding him not to lick. :-)

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  44. my son had a very similar looking rash that we could not get rid of after several dr visits for OVER A YEAR!!! It was super frustrating! we finally took him to a dermatologist who diagnosed it as some sort of freak fungal infection (no idea honestly how it came about...simply by touching something with the bacteria and then his face she suggested as a possibility)and she gave him medications that were much stronger for that. he began clearing right away and within 4 or 5 days it was completely gone and never came back. It was a huge relief - we were perplexed.

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  45. Now that the list of comments is long enough that few will see mine, I'll make a comment.

    My experience with your four "other things":
    1. Age of 5? Really? I've never been that introspective that I would even notice. Upon entering puberty at age 12 I knew my orientation was gay (with quite a lot of force) but I didn't pay much attention before hand.
    2. I've never thought of myself as effeminate, even when I was very young. But I'm not particularly masculine, either.
    3. and 4. Your experience exactly matches mine, here. There was no abuse or missing father figure or any of the nonsense that has been assumed to causes gay orientations. It was just the natural development of attractions -- but exclusively towards men on sensual levels.

    As for spirits, this is all rather speculative and not authoritative, but it seems to me if familial relationships only exist in the Celestial Kingdom, our sexual drives might not be the same after resurrection. So I think our orientations, homosexual or heterosexual, being so closely linked to sexual drives, might not even be an issue.

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  46. I would guess the rash is an allergy and not from licking her lips as it is out of the reach of her tongue.

    When I applied to BYU as a psychology major in the late 80's I received a copy of the Psychology department's newsletter that had an article I have never forgotten...it said that in studies with mice they found that babies born to mothers who experienced a stress (in this case electric shock) during pregnancy were much more likely to be gay. It seems to me that this study would support the idea that homosexuality is physical. Although, I personally think that it can also be a result of life experiences such as abuse. So, there's my 2 cents worth. :)

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    1. Twice I have started writing comments about that study, but I couldn't remember the details, so I didn't post them. I remember that the stress that showed correlation occurred during a specific trimester. Reading the results of that study completely changed my opinion about choice vs. "born that way" in regards to SSA.

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  47. If SSA was spiritual in nature don't you think God would have made it possible to have SSA couples reproduce? I do agree with you Josh. I feel its is a temporal thing in general just like anything else in this world. I do believe once we die and are resurrected we will be Like God and therefore not have to have the temptations like we do now.

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    1. Everyone spends so much time predicting and living for the eternities. If only we'd live good honest lives every day, the world would be a better place to live in. Who cares if there's SSA in the heavens or not? Funny how the very people who haven't been to heaven make grand declarations about it.
      The fact that SS couples don't reproduce doesn't meant they were not part of God's plan. Perhaps they were sent here for all of us to learn to be more open minded and accepting.

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    2. I'm reminded of a quote from Portal2

      "These next tests require co-operation. Consequently they've never been completed by a human." -GLaDOS.

      grey

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  48. Josh,you hit the nail on the head in point # 4. It's so true for many of us.

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  49. I third perioral dermatitis. It is hard to get rid of, but it can be done.

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  50. Since rashes only have something like eleventy thousand differentials... Here's one for the growing pile;

    Those look like fingerprints.
    As in leaning her face in her hands
    As in contact dermatitis
    From something her fingers are touching
    (Crayons, pencils, lunch, swing set chains, etc.)
    ((Another short list for ya!))

    Check out her hands, ESP her fingerprints or knuckles/tops.

    If they look "lacy" or "spotty" or even red (although hands tend to get hives instead of a red/perky rash), or are hot/swollen t to the touch... Then she's reacting to something she's touching. If not, then she STILL may be reacting.

    (Smack an asterisk next to each below w/ check with your doc)

    - Benedryl = allergy
    - Monistat cream = fungal infection
    - Antibiotic cream = bacteria
    - ....zole = parasite (like ringworm, although it doesn't look like it)

    But they don't help if she's constantly reinfecting or reaggravating an allergy.

    OCD hand washing & "opera gloves" for minimizing cross contamination. (Just because they're pretty & silky).

    AGAIN... This is just one possibility out of soooooooo many, but a lot of little girls sit with their chin in both hands, with fingers framing the mouth (or knuckles). AND all kinds of idiot-clause check with your Ped before adminning meds blah blah blah... Know you'd do that anyway.

    -g!

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  51. Having spent the last two years trying to figure out a new rash on my neck and face, I wanted to share what I found. You may already have your answer. I only read the first few comments and know that dairy and gluten are majors culprits and removing them from my diet helped but didn't completely take care of the problem.

    For me it is Histamines. Not as commonly known but removing them, while not easy, did the job. After not having them for a while I tolerate small amounts at a time and then go back to none for a while. Leftover foods, meats especially, were really bad for me.

    I sure hope you get it figured out for her.

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  52. Beautiful little girls as always! Have you tried coconut oil on it? I also use doterra essential oils some and maybe melaleuca would help also? My kid has very sensitive crazy skin and these natural remedies have helped. Good luck!

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