Ten reasons I still haven't lost those last 20 pounds
10. I'm just big boned.
9. Yeah, like I really want to have to buy a whole new wardrobe! (Said no gay man, ever.)
8. It's been really cold out--way too cold to run. On my treadmill.
7. So... these:
Stock up now... these things don't last all year.
6. And, well, also these:
Oh, hello there.
(That apple in the background? Been there for WEEKS.)
5. Also, I'd like to cordially introduce you to:
I just ruined your life. You're welcome.
4. It's all muscle weight, guys. Lots and lots of lean muscle. On my abdomen.
3. Stress eating. Or eating when I'm sad. Or excited. Or bored. Or sad that I'm bored. Or bored with being sad. Or watching TV. Or breathing.
2. Sometimes my "free day" (Fridays) turns into "free days" which then devolves into a "free weekend." And when I say *sometimes* I actually mean *every time a week contains a Friday, followed by a Saturday then a Sunday.*
and final reason I still haven't lost those last 20 pounds?
1. Elephantitis. Probably.