Friday, April 19, 2013

Hey guess what! I can finally talk about this now.

Hey guess what!

I can finally talk about this now.

So, back in February we had a bunch of strangers come to our house off and on for four days, and they brought a lot of pets. And when I say "pets" I actually mean "big huge cameras." And they used those big hug cameras to record Lolly and me and the kids for one episode of a Docu-series on Vh1 called "So I married a..."

I would like you to fill in the blank for which title best encapsulates Lolly and my story. 

So I married a....

a. Axe murderer.
b. Really, really attractive albino.
c. Man with ADD.
d. Gay Mormon.
e. All of the above. 
f. c and d
g. a, c and d

Did you just test anxiety?

Well, I'm not going to tell you the answer. Instead, I'm going to show you the promo for the show and allow you to figure it out for yourselves. Are you ready?



So, yeah. There's that.

Also, I just took a train to Portland to visit my parentals. I do like me some Portland. Such a quirky fun city. But do you know what I have never ever tried?

Voodoo doughnuts.

Blasphemy, right? If I do end up going there (for anyone who has been), what kind of donut is a must eat? (PS, I don't like bacon.)

Ope, just got a text from my dad saying that he's running late and I'm stuck at the train station for a while longer. So, time for a selfie!!!!

Train stations make me happy!


 Especially when they look really cool and old and big like Portland's.
(I also prefer them when they don't contain terrorists. For the record.)

All right, friends. Peace. 


68 comments:

  1. Grrr - can't watch the video in the UK. :(
    Very excited for you Weeds.

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  2. I remember the grape doughnut being better than it should have been.

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  3. And, oh yeah! Congrats on the VH-1 thing! That's awesome!

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  4. I like the tangy, sweet grapeness of the Grape Ape myself. The One with Oreos, and the other one with oreos and peanut butter that has a "dirty" name are a little too much crunch for a soft donut. Oh, but what am I saying? You have to get the Voodoo Doll!

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  5. Setting my DVR now. Cool beans. :)

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  6. Oh, and also, I think your dislike of bacon is more blasphemous than not having been to Voodoo. But that's just my opinion.

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  7. Voodoo Doughnuts? But Josh, how do they compare to Top Pot Doughnuts?

    Oh, and you and Lolly seem about the most normal couple in that video, at least to me. I know it's different strokes for different folks, but your life is, in reality, pretty much boring and ordinary. Not saying it like it's a bad thing, but apart from you being gay, you're pretty much the typical Mormon family that I see in church every Sunday.

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  8. like the bacon, wish I could have a good donut (haven't found a gluten free one yet) not sure how I feel about the VH-1 thing, hope they portray you and Lolly the very positive, uplifting way you deserve, because we all know how the editing could go down... but for sure will be watching your segment.

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  9. OMG. I just watched the trailer and I'm already hooked on that series.

    You're so big-time now.

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  10. Josh, I would watch you on VH1 but I think my mom might have that channel parental blocked from the Comcast. You know how it is. ;)
    Well, I'll do my best.

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  11. I was once on VH1 too haha. They needed extras for a basketball match scene for one of their reality shows, so they came to my college and my team and I dribbled and passed the ball around inconspicuously. Pretty goofy experience :P

    Like Lori said, I hope they edit wisely and not just for hype and views. You guys deserve to be mortrayed correctly (as does everyone).
    So, *fingers crossed*

    Sending love and prayers your way :)

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  12. I actually have a list of towns I would like to visit just for the different food places. Voodoo Donuts is on that list of reasons to go to Portland LOL I want pictures and reviews of whatever you have so I can add specific donuts to the list :)

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  13. Looks intense and your wife is all kinds of hot.

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  14. Really? Trash TV? Disappointing. Was it really worth the cash?

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  15. Ah! The Portland train station! I love that place! I miss me the weirdo's of Oregon! ;-) I can say that because it's my home! Have fun! And for the record, I've never even heard of voodoo donuts. Congrats on the show!

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  16. I would recommend the Portland Creme, but then I am a BIG fan of bavarian creme filling and chocolate frosting (there is also a McMinnville Creme if you prefer maple frosting over chocolate). But for the true VooDoo experience, definitely go with the VooDoo Doll. Every one I have ever seen has a different look. You just never know what you will get...

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    1. And if you aren't a big fan of really long lines, go to VooDoo Too on the east side of the river. The address is 1501 NE Davis St.

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  17. Oh my, what a gem of a show! lol- I've always known you guys have a fine sense of humor, but now I'm absolutely positive about it. It seems from the promo that this is a kooky show that attempts to have a heart. I really hope they show you and Lolly's....they're GOLDEN.

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  18. VH1 is another TV thing from the 90s I had no idea still existed. Just like the Rikki Lake show! Seems to be your niche. I hope you both went with the hammer pants 90s makeover this time.

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  19. I am the mom who goes to Voodoo with my family every time we pick my daughter up from college and doesn't have the donut because she's on a diet! Well, this weight is not budging so I finally had one in December and yum yum! I am pretty sure I also had the Portland Creme and my husband always has something with cereal on it. I hope you go. It's a fun experience. (BTW-My weight is the same as it was in December and I'm glad I joined the family in our tradition.)

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  20. I was so disappointed with the clip. I thought if you posted it, then it would be safe to watch. I saw things I never wanted to see, let alone my 8 year-old son sitting next to me. It's a sad world when even a Weeder isn't free from smut.

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    1. Smut? I don't think I saw any of that portrayed in the video clip. Brief portrayals of couples in alternative lifestyles, yes. But nothing salacious or pornographic. Did we watch the same thing?

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    2. I didn't see smut either... but with a VH1 show titled "So I Married a...." you might have been a little too trusting to let your 8 year old watch a promo....

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  21. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    1. Huh? All of the couples to my recollection had some entirely mundane characteristic that was focused upon. What makes Josh and Lolly's different?

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  22. I can't watch the clip from my non-U.S. neck of the woods.
    It does seem like a rather cheesy and exploitative reality show(especially considering some of their other couples). Did you choose to do it because it was the least cheesy of the offers? Because it was a one-off? Because you want to reach non-Mormons as well? Do you actually mention during the show that one of the reasons you are not in a gay relationship is because you believe that God thinks that that is wrong or does that kinda get glossed over (I imagine it does or VH1 wouldn't air it. Will it be more of a thing that Mormons know and that is the most important thing?
    It seems that on most reality shows, people appear on them because they are 'freaks' in some way that will appeal to a mass audience. It's the zeitgeist now really, isn't it? I'm not saying you are a freak - you obviously aren't - just wondering why you've chosen to go this route.

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  23. You doing this is way over the line... What will your girls think when they grow up :(. I'd be super embarrassed if I was a kid abd my parents were on a show like this. your daughters will be embarrassed someday, i myself an embarrassed for you both. Walking the gray is one step from denying. I am do sad to see you guys participating in a smut TV show. People have it right ... Was the money worth participating in smut ?

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    1. Way over what line? The line that YOU have drawn for them?

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    2. I see you felt so strongly about that you used your real name....

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  24. For those who can't watch the clip, it's essentially a long series of:

    Couple: "I married a [insert some completely prosaic quality here]!"
    Other people: "GASP HORROR SHOCK"
    Couple: *sniff* "We just want to be accepted!"

    So it seems sensationalistic, but not necessarily unsympathetic.


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  25. Thank you Keri and Anonymous. My feelings exactly. I love this blog and what it stands for. I love the insights and dialogue. I admire what Josh and Lolly are doing (as well as many of you, from your own comments), but this clip really disappointed me. Coming from a fellow ADDer, those images that were unwanted may resurface (unwanted also) for a while. Could the clip come with a warning?

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  26. (The anonymous under Keri, not the other. That one's a little harsh in tone and provoking.)

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  27. Sadly harshness is needed... I'm so amazed and saddened by seeing this. I, too, watch the clip and about feel out of my seat from disappointment. You have taken the most sacred acted of love, affection, intimacy and procreation and pasted it all over a reality show. Your gayness does not define you like you say it does. It doesn't define anyone for that matter. It's what you do with what your been give that shows true character.

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    1. Harshness is never needed, neither warranted nor justified. Love one another, that's what He said, not judge one another.

      Publishing as Anonymous, because I don't know how to do any of the others...anybody ever thought of that? My name is Rika. Not a computer wiz.

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    2. So since they will not be having sex on the show or going into detail about their sex life I am not sure what your beef is.

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  28. I have to join the disappointed group on this one. When I watched this I felt that both Josh and Lolly and the couple where the husband is a quadriplegic (can't remember their names) did not fit in on this show. I "know" Josh and Lolly from here and I have seen the other couple on some YouTube videos they have posted and they are both just every day couples who are going about their lives whereas the others seem to be "look at me, look at me" types. I was extremely sad to see both of these couples on such a show.

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  29. Josh, it bothers me that so many people are tearing you apart for your choice. Geez there have to be days where you feel like you really can't win no matter what you do. Live your life in light as you always do. I have no doubt that you didn't go on this show without thought and prayer. You can't please everyone. As long as you and Lolly and your family are happy and God is happy, it's all good. I am just amazed by all of the harshness. This is your life and yours alone. No one else can judge. We do such a disservice to others when we judge. It keeps up from loving.

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    1. Couldn't agree more. I know for a fact that Josh and Lolly take a lot if time, thought, and prayer to decide what shows to go on. If people want to judge them, them that is their choice but the reality is it doesn't matter what they think. As for the clip it mentions different lifestyles people choose, without going into detail or showing much visually so I am not sure why the video is so disappointing and appalling. People do things you may not agree with, that is a fact of life. You have the choice to not watch the show.

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    2. Well said, Anonymous! Josh and Lolly, you guys just keep on keepin' on. Don't let some people's negative opinions get you down. Congratulations on the show! We don't have cable right now, so I really hope I can find it online. Let us know, would you?

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  30. You know, when Josh chooses to live the gospel we're all smiles and back slaps. When he chooses to go on a reality show, though, we sure do have a pile of stones ready to throw. What a fickle lot we are! I have two questions: 1) Do you have faith that Josh holds the priesthood and thereby carefully considers family matters through prayer with Lolly? 2) Were you a part of that prayer? Josh, thanks for the FREE laughs. I'll be happy to pay for them when your book comes out (I just kinda made you sound like a joke hooker. Sorry 'bout that).

    Jane

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    1. "Joke hooker." Bwah ha ha ha!

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    1. I wasn't aware that one had to live a certain way to 'earn' the title gay. Didn't know it was a title of honor, as you imply. What do I need to do to earn the title 'female'?

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    2. I certainly hope that being gay is not always defined by struggle & hardship

      - Grey : whose sexuality is the same regardless of whether Im a kid, dating, married, or single. From experience. Because I was born this way. It wasn't a choice I made. But I love being who I am! Which makes me both blessed & lucky. And who is proud to have Josh and Lolly Weed as a representative of one of the many facets of MY GLBTQ community.

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    3. I have heard other people who don't like the word "gay" applied to those who are living celibate lives... they seem to think that same-gender attraction or even homosexual better defines that person. And gay is a word for those who are choosing to form homosexual relationships.

      Sort of the opposite, except same, thing that you are saying, Tammy.

      Maybe that is a word that we won't be able to get all of society to agree upon. My son has chosen the word "gay" to describe his innate attractions. He has done nothing to express any sort of sexual feeling in any direction at all. He has lots of choices ahead of him and I tend to think that the specific word choice is one of the less important ones.

      Good to see you, btw, Tammy. You are amazing and awesome :)

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    4. Out of curiousity what title would you deem appropriate for him?

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    5. I'm not 'up' on the political correctness of the word 'gay' (and other similar words and distinctions), but I think (IMHO) that these days the word (and others) are sorta moldable, interchangeable, used in different ways, in different settings, and by different people, etc. --- seems to me that no one really has 'ownership' of the word(s) in a world that is constantly changing.....especially when you consider that the word 'gay' used to mean 'happy', 'joyful', etc.

      You know I love ya Tammy, but it seems to me that getting 'hung up' on the word 'gay' goes against what we are fighting for..... acceptance, understanding, tolerance, love, and respect as we ALL "Define" ourselves how we choose.

      My husband uses several words interchangeably when he talks about himself and his life, desires, choices, etc. He says 'gay' sometimes, 'homosexual', 'same sex attraction', etc. I don't even give it a second thought as he uses different words at different times. It's interesting - it's complicated - it's unique - it's OK....

      I hope we can just 'chill' and try not to get all up tight as we all navigate through our lives and loves others as they navigate through their lives. :D

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    6. Well, if you think living as a female is against God's ultimate plan, then I don't know that you'd want to call yourself a female. You'd be a self-hating female. Now if you still called yourself a female but chose to not live as a female because that is against God's plan, would you, in fact still be a female? Good question.
      Now if I were gay but believed that living a gay life was against God's will, would I still be gay? If I believed that the one and only true God was against my living a gay life would I still be gay?
      Now if I were gay and there were people who said they were gay and also believed that my living a gay life is not part of God's plan and that God is against it, would I feel that I want to welcome them with open arms? Do they want to welcome me with open arms? "You are gay, we love you but that gay living you are doing is against God's plan." Would I want those people in my tribe? Those folks, in a much more extreme form, beat up my gay brothers and sisters, deny them human rights and even sometimes, a la Matthew Shephard, tie them to a fence where they hang until they die. Yes, that is much more extreme but it is.

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    7. The "More extreme version" are psychopaths & the deranged.

      I wouldn't want them in my tribe, either.

      There are ALWAYS "more extreme" versions of any group. That doesn't mean I write the whole group off because of the actions of a few. And ditto, i dont ban individuals because of the actions of most.

      GOOD people?
      Who have a different belief set than I do?
      You bet I want them in my heart & my life.

      Heck, most of the people I love have different belief sets than I do. I can not choose their path in life, and still respect BOTH them and myself. They can not choose my path, and do the same.

      Our belief systems, our paths in life? May be 180. But we don't threaten each other. Their beliefs & actions don't threaten my beliefs & actions. And vice versa. Its all about respect. They respect me to make choices in my life, and I respect them.

      Because, looooove this line, reasonable people can & do differ.

      Which is why I may choose never to marry, but be to my fingertips thrilled that my neighbors are getting married, now that its legal. (Im in the wedding!!) I love my neighbors. Im over the moon for them.

      Should I not go to the wedding, because a more extreme version of me might be picketing, yelling obscenities, planting bombs, what have you?

      Or shall I go, kiss my friends, and wish them
      All the happiness in the world?


      - NonSelfHating NotStraight MormonChick, Called Grey.

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    8. Tammy - you know I'm a 'lover' not a 'fighter', so please don't take my responses to your comments as confrontational. (I think we have had enough 'conversations' that we can just share our thoughts and feelings and not get all offended, etc. - I'm hoping) If you were here, I'd absolutely be giving you a big hug.

      I just wanted to kindly and respectfully point out that your last statement regarding you "who have struggled and continue to struggle" is interesting to me since I know that you know the truth about the great 'struggles' my husband has faced throughout his life, (as have many others like him).

      I know nothing is 'fair', but it just doesn't seem fair to suggest that only those of you who are living a certain lifestyle (in same sex relationships)are the only homosexual individuals who have struggled or are struggling because of their sexual orientation.

      Think of what you know about my husband, Mr. I Define Me.....

      Remember how he lived as a child, and the fear and confusion he endured as he believed he was the only little boy in the world with attractions towards men.

      Remember the pain and anxiety he lived with for so long as he kept his 'secret' from his friends, family, me, and the world.

      Remember the addictive behavior that he has suffered through, and lived with, and struggled to learn to control and manage.

      Realize the ridicule that he has endured and continues to endure from the 'gay' community who judge him, disrespect his choices, protest his lifestyle, have no tolerance for his personal beliefs, and sometimes express anger towards him (and others) for his use of the word 'gay' in defining himself.

      I'm not sure exactly 'what' is required of a person to 'earn' the 'right' to use the word 'gay' in defining them self. But, after years of confusion and denial and shame, my husband considers it a big deal that he is now comfortable with defining himself as 'gay' (he thought it was a good thing).

      It is ironic, because I know that, at one point, he believed that he would be honored and appreciated by his 'gay' brothers and sisters for the effort he has made as he has endured great struggles in his life, and ultimately has come to a place where he can and does acknowledge himself as a 'gay man'. I don't think he ever imagined that he would be shunned, turned away, and denounced by his comrads just because he has made a personal choice to not 'live' the same lifestyle that some of you have chosen.

      Tammy, I want you to know that I am literally crying as I write this because I have felt compassion, understanding, tolerance and love from you in the past, but you went away for a while, (and I missed you - you know I did because I went looking for you on your blog and sent you a private message wishing you well) and it seems that you have returned with some anger and attitude towards 'us' (& those like us)when I thought we were really making great progress towards more understanding, tolerance, open-mindedness, respect, and love.

      Please know that I do understand much of what you are saying, and you know I support you and your wife, and wish you the best. If you have some concrete evidence or explanation as to the 'true' definition of the word 'gay' and proof of 'ownership' of the word, please share this with us and explain. Also, I hope you will be forgiving, understanding, and tolerant of others who are not just like you, but alot like you. :)

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    9. I just saw this comment, and WOW.

      If you want to coin your own word for people who've "busted their butts" in whatever ways you think "count," fine. But you don't get to redefine words in order to separate someone from their own sexuality. Gay = sexually and/or romantically attracted to the same sex, but not the opposite sex. That's what it means. Language evolves, yes, but YOU don't get to unilaterally impose a completely different definition on words, and it's ESPECIALLY offensive when you're doing it to erase marginalized people's experiences perpetuating an oppressive heterosexist paradigm.

      I CANNOT believe this comment is coming from a self-declared gay person. It *REEKS* of heterosexual privilege and power and oppression and marginalization. The open homophobia of churches, anti-gay activists, and certain commentators here on Josh's blog has never made me as furious as this one has, because at least THEY are openly hostile and don't pretend to be on the side of LGBT people.

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    10. That should be

      1) erase marginalized people's experiences and perpetuate an oppressive heterosexist paradigm

      2) as this one has = as this comment has

      I don't proofread well when I'm angry, apparently.

      Delete
  32. Portland? PLEASE tell me you watch Portlandia. If not, then start. Immediately. :))

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  33. So excited for you, buddy. Will be watching!

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  34. You don't like BACON! there is the blasphemy, friend. There it is.

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  35. You don't like bacon! what are you gay or something!?... oh wait...

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  36. Hi,
    Im currently watching the show. And just wanted to give you my support and send my love your way. I think that the Weed family is very courageous and very ahead of its time. As an American and a Christian I believe everyone has a the right to live in whichever way that makes them the happiest. Good luck to you,and you are im my prayers

    -jasmine from Louisiana

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  37. Josh and Lolly, God Bless you and your family..
    Josh to have found someone so understanding and commit to your union is a blessing.. Josh plz don't listen to all comments by those who don't understand what goes on behind closed doors.. If they critic you and your union.. That just means they are closed minded and not ready to receive the gift of you and your family.. Take comments with a grain of salt and don't let it define your relationship..
    You have started something that will allow people to think differently..
    Thank you for showing that you can be gay and still hold on to you faith and beliefs.. You and Lolly are doing amazing things..
    Thx..

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  38. Hi Josh,

    Firstly, I wanted to thank you for sharing your story on TV. It is very brave of you and I think that it is just wonderful that you and Lolly were able to do so! I think (and obviously, I can't know because I don't know your whole story) that you are the sort of person I am looking to talk to for my psychology dissertation - people who are romantically attracted to memebers of one gender and sexually attracted to memebers of another gender. If you are interested, I would love to talk to you about your experiences. I went through a time where I was sexually attracted to men and romantically attracted to women. I married my wife and eventually found that I formed a sexual attraction to her, so I, in part, understand your experience and am hoping to speak with other people as to gain a better understanding of their experiences (both negative and positive) to help the psychological community and the world understand what it's like to have differing sexual and romantic attractions and that such people do exist.

    Below is information about what I'm doing. Also, if others in a similar situation contact you, if you would consider passing along this information, that would be a tremendous help. Or, if you happen to know of any groups that I might be able to contact where I might be able to find other people in similar circumstances.

    Thank you so much for your time!
    -Corissa White

    PEOPLE WITH DIFFERING SEXUAL AND ROMANTIC ATTRACTIONS NEEDED FOR A RESEARCH STUDY

    Do you find that usually the gender of people you want to be sexually involved with (experience sexual attraction toward) is different from the gender of people you want to be in a dating relationship with (experience romantic attraction for)?
    IF YES, YOU MAY QUALIFY FOR THIS STUDY
    We are seeking volunteers for a research project aimed at better understanding people who are usually sexually attracted to members of one gender and romantically attracted to members of another gender.
    Volunteers will be asked to first complete a phone screening to assess their match to the research criteria (about 15 minutes). Volunteers that move to the next phase will be invited to complete a confidential in-person interview (up to 2 hours) that will explore their individual stories, coping skills, personal identities, experiences with romantic and sexual partners, and impact on relationships with friends and family.
    Our hope is that this research study will contribute to understanding your experiences and any psychological needs, as well as increasing visibility of individuals with differing romantic and sexual attractions.
    The interview will be audio recorded. All data will be kept confidential and your participation will remain anonymous. Interviews will be completed at a secure location that is convenient to you. You will be provided with monetary compensation of $20 for your participation.
    If you are interested in participating, please contact me with your contact information -and the best time to reach you.
    This research project has been approved by the Institutional Review Board at Alliant International University in San Francisco. You can reach the IRB at irb-sf@alliant.edu or (415) 955-2151.

    Corissa White
    loveandsexresearch@gmail.com

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  39. I actually just learned about you folks from the VH1 special. You guys are truly inspiring. I accept you two as you are- committed, accepting, in love and best friends. Have I left anything out? Thank you for being so honest and open about your lives. I really enjoyed watching you and I can't wait to catch up on your blog posts!

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