Monday, September 2, 2013

The definition of "intimacy"

Today I was busy writing in my office which, if you'll remember, is actually just an antique sewing machine shoved into the corner of a small walk-in closet.

Remember?

Lolly had been having some quiet reflection time in our bedroom. I could tell as I passed by on my way to my office that she was pondering deeply. Reading. Saying prayers. Meditating. Gaining insight. I tried not to disturb her and quietly ducked into my little room and got busy writing.

After an hour or so, she opened the door. "Sweety," she said lovingly. "I was just thinking about you and how grateful I am for you." She looked at me tenderly.

I was touched. I was there in that little office working hard, writing, trying to focus. It was nice to think she had been reflecting on her love for me. "Thank you," I said.

"No, thank you. Thank you for working so hard for our little family." She came in and gave me a tearful kiss and a hug. I could tell she had been having very warm thoughts about me, and about us. Her hug was meaningful and heartfelt, and I felt so glad to be married to this wonderful, beautiful woman.

The moment was sweet and very tender. And then she started laughing. "Also, you should probably leave this closet."

"Why?"


She was laughing so hard she was actually doubled over and couldn't talk. She gained enough composure to utter, "Because I accidentally just farted. And it's a bad one."

We both lost it. I plugged my nose. And then we evacuated the closet, hand in hand, as the stench choked the room out in the way only a rancid intestinal emission in a small, enclosed room can.

"You should definitely write a blog post about this," she said as we walked downstairs.

And so I did.

Her: "I hope the fact that I just farted didn't ruin this intimate moment."
Him: "Ruin it!? The fact that you felt comfortable enough to fart in front of me DEFINES this intimate moment."
Photo attribution: here

23 comments:

  1. All that AND coming out of the closet. :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ha! We are getting So good at coming out of the closet together, hand in hand, these days...

      Delete
  2. Oh, I need to work on this. I am still completely ashamed to share farts with my husband.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So sad! It's such a freeing experience. Not to mention one of the ways that I knew it was true love--we could be our most disgusting with each other and it didn't phase us.

      Delete
  3. You two are meant for each other! LOL!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Oh my goodness I couldn't help but tear up and laugh hysterically at the same time! You guys are just great.

    ReplyDelete
  5. So true.
    That reminded me of the movie with Channing Tatum and Rachel McAdams where she farts and he rolls up the window to prove his love. I love JT, but I am not sure if I am willing to roll the window UP!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Thanks for sharing!-George

    ReplyDelete
  7. As part of an "Improve our relationship/marriage" project, my husband and I wrote lists about what we'd like the other to improve on. Top of his list was, "Stop farting in front of me". Apparently it's not doing it for him. ;) LOL!

    ReplyDelete
  8. True love means never having to leave the room when you need to fart. (Doesn't it make you nervous to have Jesus sit and stare at you while you work?)

    ReplyDelete
  9. Oh my gosh, you guys are hilarious:-). Just when I think your posts could not get any baser. You guys have completely ripped open the curtains of intimacy. I just used the word "ripped" didn't I? Oh my...

    ReplyDelete
  10. Just as the tears came to my eyes, she farted. You two are insane and I love you for it.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Thanks for another great post. Touching and funny. I appreciate your humor as we all go through this life figuring it out one day and one experience at a time.

    ReplyDelete
  12. ... Just ... I'm speechless. You guys are the best.

    ReplyDelete
  13. So, just to clarify, were her eyes filled with tears before, or after the air "slipped out accidentally when she pushed" (my term)? And did your eyes well up with tears before you made it out of the closet?

    ReplyDelete
  14. best set up, ever. didn't see it coming.

    but its so true. as far as i am concerned- you ain't intimate until you can fart and use the toilet in front of someone. thank goodness Jeff still loves me :)

    ReplyDelete
  15. Call me weird, but I've always felt it is disrespectful to do that around someone--especially someone you love. And I still need privacy in the bathroom. Obviously, lots of people feel differently, and that's OK, too.

    ReplyDelete
  16. OMG my husband does this to me ALL THE TIME. And he has this mischievous grin on his face and laughs like a kid.

    ReplyDelete