Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Pizza in the park

Lolly and the girls were at the park, having a picnic. They were sitting in the grass on a blanket, eating pizza. Each of the girls had a piece of pizza on their plate and they were cheerfully eating. The park was crowded.

Suddenly, an older, thin gentleman came up to them. He was well dressed and appeared to be enjoying the sunny day.

Old man: Yes, can I have a piece of pizza?

Lolly: Uhhh, well... this is for my girls...

Friday, July 26, 2013

Sometimes the sex talk goes horribly wrong...

Well, it finally happened.

Remember how, a few years ago, we had to have "the talk" with Anna about Bambi's mom, and the conversation turned into one of the most awkward and uncomfortable discussions had by any father/daughter pair?

Well, I think the sex talk I just had with Anna might have trumped Bambi Nuggets. And that's saying something.

Let me start out by saying that as a marriage and family therapist, I highly encourage parents to have an open dialogue about sex and sexuality. My general philosophy (so as to not let this happen) is to let a child ask questions, and let them hear about important topics from you as opposed to their peers. Then, respond naturally without shame or embarrassment because this is a natural process and a natural conversation.

Apparently God likes jokes, because he gave me a child who pushes against that philosophy. Hard.

"I am here to challenge your parenting skills."--Anna

Anna recently turned seven, so we've been waiting for her cues, expecting this conversation to arise naturally. Phase I of the conversation--the initial sex talk--went really, really well.

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

I'm old, but I'm certainly not an adult.

Last weekend I was at a sex conference because that's pretty much what my life has become: lots of trips to sex conferences where I learn all about how much pornography is kinda like crack (it really kind of is, folks. I've seen the brain scans. It ain't pretty) and also all about how incredibly bad I am at paying attention to long, drawn-out presentations about how much pornography is kinda like crack.

Imagine me at one of these conferences for a moment, would you? Just think of me...

Monday, July 8, 2013

Calling the Kettle Black...

Photo Attribution: here

The other day I got home from work, and Lolly and I seriously had this conversation:

Lolly:  I watched the latest episode of "So I'm married to a..."

Me: Yeah? How was it?

Thursday, July 4, 2013

Sameer, the Muslim betta fish

I'd like to introduce you to a new member of our family:

This is Sameer.

He is our Muslim betta fish.

"How," you might ask "did you acquire such an attractive Muslim betta fish?"

Well, there's a story to it, you see...