Sunday, June 15, 2014

This Post is Not About Fathers

Oh! Hi there!

Um, this is awkward isn't it? It's been a while. How are you doing? Good? How's your [sore body part of choice] feeling? Better now that you've gotten some rest? And your job? Going well? Sure hope so. Did your son/daughter finish learning how to do that thing he/she was trying to learn how to do since last I posted? I certainly hope so. Weather's nice, isn't it?

All right. Enough small talk.

Did you miss me?

I sure missed you.

Sorry I've been gone so long. I don't have a good excuse. But it all started when...
I decided to change the format of the blog and then it took longer than I expected, and then it kept taking longer, and I kept waiting to post until the change happened, and then it kept not happening, and then I got distracted with this weird, crazy thing I like to call living my life (where "living my life" means "eating lots of Nutella from the jar and not exercising enough and watching endless episodes of The Mindy Project and The Good Wife and The Blacklist all while trying to avoid writing a memoir.")

Anyway, I finally decided to post today despite not having made the big changes because 1. I miss you people terribly and 2. this is my Father's Day gift to you and to myself and 3. I gotsta share two important things that happened a couple weekends ago. And I mean really, really, really important things. Like, life-changing, earth-shattering kind of important.

I'll give you two hints:

1. Water


2. Scarves.

Did you guess it?


Anna was baptized, and I took Lolly to see her Celebrity Crush (Lionel Richie for the uninitiated), all in the same freaking weekend.

I'm kinda surprised Earth didn't get jangled out of orbit.

First, Lionel. That was a miracle.

I bought the tickets months ago as a MAJOR ANNIVERSARY SURPRISE only to discover that I booked our MAJOR ANNIVERSARY SURPRISE on the exact same weekend of Anna's BAPTISM which we would be holding in PORTLAND because she was getting baptized with her COUSIN and so we COULD NOT GO to the concert and I felt like an IDIOT. (Random caps is fun!)

We tried to sell the tickets. In vain. We tried to figure out a way to go to the concert and then go the baptism. Also in vain.

I tried to get them refunded. In vain. I got really mad and yelled at a Customer Service Representative in masculine outrage. In vain. Though the last one did turn Lolly on, which is a bonus.

In the end, it was Lolly's parents and siblings who saved the day. They were going to be there in Portland for the baptism, and they helped arrange things so that we were able to drive down to Portland, then drive back up for the concert in Seattle (three hours away) and then drive back  down to Portland the next morning, the day of the baptism, all while our children were being supervised by rational, legal adults. Mostly.

Can I just say? It was so very nice to go on a little trip by ourselves. It took us five hours to get there because of traffic, but we just talked and laughed and shared, and we loved it. And then I spent the entire concert watching Lolly relish in the Lionel experience. There were closed eyes, and bitten lower lips, and "uh huhs" and random head nods and gawking galore. Also she cried. Several times.

Guys, childhood dreams come true. Even when that childhood dream is to be sung to by a black man 30 years your senior while sitting next to your loving very white husband.

At the end, we were walking out and this other girl, about Lolly's age, was walking out crying and they looked at each other and just nodded. They knew.

Well, actually, they didn't really know, because they had to convince each other.

Girl: It's just… he's so good. Right?

Lolly (wiping tear from face): No, it's true. He's so talented. He really is! I mean, really.

Girl: I know! I loved this so much. And it's totally not weird that we're in our thirties, crying about a guy old enough to have grandkids in junior high whose early hits were mostly written before we were even born because he's so talented and attractive.

Lolly: Exactly! We're not weird!

Everyone else on Earth: Yes. Yes you are.

I have to admit it though: that was a pretty dang good concert. And Lionel, for pushing 70, can actually really dance. I mean, his neck skin has the consistency of a turkey leg, but his face hasn't aged. Much. And he can still sing really well. And he was fun and entertaining. So, I can see some level of adulation I guess.

But I was surprised to see the entire Key Arena FILLED TO BURSTING with fans.

Conclusion: Lolly's Celebrity Crush might strike me as odd, and make me insecure about my masculinity and race. But she is definitely not alone!

Here's a picture of Lolly at the concert:

"I'm so excited to watch this old turkey-neck grandpa sing sultry songs about love!!!"

Anyway, we went home from the concert very, very happy to have a night to ourselves. The next morning, we awoke early and drove back home for event #2 of the weekend: Anna's baptism.

It was beautiful. Well, actually, it was a little bit crazy, and ended up not going exactly how we would have wanted--we didn't get to participate in the program, and there were approximately 4,000 other baptisms at the same time, all lined up like cattle--but Anna herself loved it. She was thrilled to participate in such an important ordinance, and her eyes were wide with excitement the entire time. She was very moved by the experience. She tugged my shirt afterwards and said "Daddy, I just feel so happy inside right now."

That was beautiful.

Here are some photos:

 Two gorgeous ladies

 Before the big event, with her cousin Rhys (they were born three days apart and are similar enough in personality to be twins)

 Gotta love the too-high-waistband on the adult white-thingie.

 Anna and Rhys holding a picture of Anna and Rhys

  I can't believe how old and beautiful my little girl looks.

And that's that.

I know the title of this post says it's not about fathers, but I must say a Happy Fathers Day to all the guys out there, especially to my friends many of whom are awesome dads that I look up to.

And a public Happy Father's Day to my dad--thanks for loving me despite all my foibles. Thanks for being there for me through thick and thin. Thanks for taking care of Mom as she dies. Your sacrifices are not unnoticed. You are an incredible man, and I am so glad you are my dad. I love you.

Later guys.


  1. I went to a Lionel Richie concert in SLC and I was thinking the whole time how I wanted to tell Lolly then I remembered we have never met. My love for Lionel Richie makes no sense either as I'm 27 years old and totally wasn't even raised in that generation. Anyways...

    It's so cool to see you in white baptizing your daughter. Happy Father's Day Josh Weed!

  2. Welcome back. :) Thanks for sharing these special moments with us.

  3. Congratulations to Anna! Such a special event. And how fun with the concert. I hope to do that with my husband on occasion once he graduates.

  4. This comment has been removed by the author.

  5. Dang Josh! I was hoping to be the first to post a comment but thanks to your much more bloggerifically speedy fans, it didn't happen. Maybe some day. [SUPER long drawn out sigh]

    Anyway, as always you do not disappoint with your rhetoric, my friend. Another congrats to Anna for the cattle-prodded baptism and to you and Lolly for a night out with that college-art-teacher-stalker-of-blind-art-students-but-marvelously-talented-singer Lionel Richie...Hello!

  6. So glad you posted. Beautiful baptism and it sounds like a wonderful date night.

    Kate @ BJJ, Law, and Living

  7. I'M SO HAPPY THAT YOU'RE BACK! I've never commented before, but I've read your blog since before your coming out post and I really felt like I was missing an old friend. Hope to hear more about your life soon!

  8. Your wife and daughters have got THE BEST HAIR! Also, great to have you back!

  9. So glad to see you back and congrats to Anna. We had similar experience at a BOWS baptism 8 years ago. Were you at BOWS?

  10. If only Anna and Rhys actually recreated the picture they were holding ;)

  11. Thank you Josh, this made my day! And welcome back.

  12. I actually was thinking about you this morning and was going to email you and Lolly!! And I don't even know you, other than on this blog. It's great to hear about your incredible weekend. Love leads us to many adventures! Nutella is completely distracting to anyone who has any taste at all. And anytime you want to write, we're here--waiting to read!

  13. yeah - welcome back. nothing original to say but so happy to read your post, read your news - yeah. us violinists lead interesting lives!

  14. Great to have you back and so glad to hear that all is well!

  15. Yay! You're back! I've been checking my blog list frequently and have missed seeing any recent posts from "The Weed". I was starting to worry about you! Glad all is well in weed-ville!

  16. AuntSue
    Ah those Joy In Your Posterity moments! They fill our hearts. Then there are the Wow - He Really Does Exist and is Just As Cool As I Thought moments with your loving wife - Awesome

  17. SO glad to hear from you - KEEP POSTING!

  18. i am so relieved that you are back. i was just about to send you a letter or something! goodness gracious i am glad you are back. did i say i am glad you are back? i am so glad you are back.

  19. Beautiful post. This is personal, but I want to say it. After all, where else should it be said? So here goes. I feel like I've met the love of my life. I'm young. I'm only 20. But it feels right. It's overwhelming and so peaceful, all at once, and I've never felt more...unjarred. And when I see you and Lolly, Josh, it's like I'm seeing the same peace you give each other.

  20. You're BACK! Thank you for not forgetting us!

    Josh, you have helped me out in many ways over the past year especially as I have gone through so many similar struggles throughout my life. I don't post long, powerful comments, but I do gain a LOT of strength just by reading what you have to say and how you deal with life. So, even though you get some crazy comments and even angry posts from others on here sometimes....bottom line, what you do matters. It matters a great deal. Thank you.

  21. SO glad you're back!! :)

  22. Yay! You are back. You were missed so much!

  23. YAY!!! i was just in Hillsboro, OR for my cousin's daughter's baptism the weekend after! she was getting baptized with one of her cousins lol. It is a beautiful thing to witness baptism and remember fondly your own. The Spirit is strong there.

  24. Josh, it is SO good to see you back! :)

  25. Congrats to Anna that is awsome and she looked beautiful! What a great weekend.

  26. Lolly cracks me up. So glad you and yours had a wonderful experience at Anna's baptism!! Great to "hear" from you again.

  27. I can promise you I would definetly freak out if I ever got to see any of "my" Osmonds! It's a girl thing, you know, you guys will never understand it!!

  28. Just wanted to tell you once again thank you for what you write. And I'm glad your weekend of AWESOMENESS turned out SPECTACULARLY and that YOUR FAMILY was willing to WATCH your KIDS so you and LOLLY could have a DATE NIGHT to rival all DATE nights!! (Your right--random caps ARE fun!!) :)

  29. Congratulations on seeing Lionel and baptizing your beautiful daughter!!! I think the white thingy is called a jumpsuit. (I don't know why...)

    I like date nights. I need to have one with my husband actually. Date nights are totally fun. :)

  30. If you haven't yet, google "Lionel Richie Thundercat". You're welcome. :)